So we\u2019re in the thick of this mid-term election cycle here in Dunwich.\u00a0 And just as all over the country election holders that have strayed from what their party wants are being primaried out of their candidacies, so there have been several candidates who showed up at the Town Hall to take out papers to run against the First Selectmen.<\/p>\n
Now this isn\u2019t unprecedented.\u00a0 Every few years someone moves into town and after experiencing just how \u201cdifficult\u201d conditions are in town government, decides to throw his hat in the ring.\u00a0 Now usually after seeing that First Selectman Cthulhu\u2019s hat is thirty feet in diameter the incipient \u201cMr. Smith Goes to Washington\u201d type picks up his hat out of the ring and slinks back home.\u00a0 But this year\u2019s Mr. Smith (specifically a fellow named Ned Parson) was made of sterner stuff.\u00a0 He paid his registration fee and showed up in front of Town Hall and challenged the First Selectman to a debate.<\/p>\n
Cthulhu nodded his head and told his secretary to set up a public meeting on Sentinel Hill on the following Monday.\u00a0 Sentinel Hill is convenient for meetings involving the First Selectman because if the humans are standing on the top of the hill and Cthulhu stands at the base, his head is only slightly above their level.\u00a0 Also the acoustics are such that Cthulhu can usually hear mostly everything spoken by the humans.\u00a0 And this is important.\u00a0 Because if he can\u2019t hear what\u2019s being said, he tends to think he\u2019s being disrespected and that usually ends poorly.<\/p>\n
Last Monday it was cold and cloudy but there was a decent crowd, maybe fifty townspeople milling around the podium at the top of the hill.\u00a0 And on the podium Ned Parson was dressed as Uncle Sam including the beard.\u00a0 He was throwing buttons to the crowd that said \u201cBe Led by Ned!!!\u201d along with shooting off some confetti poppers.\u00a0 He seemed confident, almost jubilant.\u00a0 As the noon hour approached the First Selectman rumbled up to his station on the valley floor.\u00a0 His facial expression was as usual unreadable but his breathing seemed to be a little noisier than usual.\u00a0 There might also have been a certain grinding of his teeth audible but not very loudly.<\/p>\n
At noon the Town Clerk climbed the podium and read the description of the event; \u201cDebate for First Selectman Office.\u201d\u00a0 She added that Ned Parson had one the coin toss and would speak first.\u00a0 Ned proceeded, \u201cMy fellow Dunwichians, I stand before you today prepared to finally convert this town from a weird dysfunctional outpost into a modern, progressive New England town.\u00a0 For too long you\u2019ve all suffered under the inefficient, corrupt and depressing administration of my opponent.\u00a0 For too long you\u2019ve been unable to get town services or even the comfort of knowing a constabulary stood ready during outbreaks of vampirism or lycanthropy to protect life and property.\u00a0 I have the support of the local surrounding towns and I will bring our standards up to those of our neighbors.\u00a0 I will not stand still.\u00a0 I will move forward and I will make a big splash in this little place.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Town Clerk thanked Ned and then asked the First Selectman for his rebuttal.\u00a0 Cthulhu reached down to the podium and closed his hand around Ned, winding up he threw a perfect strike.\u00a0 Ned splatted against the rock face of Mt Bishop leaving a sizable red stain.\u00a0 Cthulhu guffawed, \u201cThat little man was right, he made a big splash.\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, as debates go, it was to the point.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So we\u2019re in the thick of this mid-term election cycle here in Dunwich.\u00a0 And just as all over the country election holders that have strayed<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3366,1289,1263,4],"tags":[3341,4638],"class_list":["post-37013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-in-dunwich","category-fiction-by-me","category-stuff-that-personally-interests-me-miscellaneous","category-sff","tag-dunwich","tag-first-selectman-cthulhu"],"yoast_head":"\n