So, I was at one of those parties today and I met a bunch of nice folks and spent time with some old friends too.\u00a0 And one of my friends was telling a story about a relative of his who had a job that involved a lot of international travel including Europe where he met his future wife.\u00a0 And because of his desire to build up some equity in a home he bought a house in a town where he did not necessarily want to eventually settle down when he returned permanently to the US.<\/p>\n
So, when he and his new wife took up residence in this home, he had his eyes open for his dream house which would include a huge garage that would accommodate his hobby of rebuilding classic old cars.\u00a0 And one day he found it.\u00a0 It had everything he wanted and was in the part of town he liked best.\u00a0 So, he informed his wife of his find and that they should get ready to sell their house and move to the new location.\u00a0 What he didn\u2019t realize was that since moving back his wife had put down roots in the neighborhood and made friends and after moving to a new continent she would be devastated if she had to pull up roots again and start from scratch.<\/p>\n
So, he stayed and had to forego the dream garage.\u00a0 And my friend finished by saying that he had always been extremely shocked that his relative hadn\u2019t insisted that they move in order to get the garage he really wanted.\u00a0 So, I said to him, \u201cBut aren\u2019t they still happily married?\u201d\u00a0 And he said \u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell,\u201d I said, \u201cwhat\u2019s harder to find, a good wife or a good garage?\u00a0 And what are the chances of finding a second wife as good as the first?\u201d\u00a0 He chuckled and said, \u201cI see your point.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now mostly this is just an amusing story.\u00a0 The whole reason that his relative didn\u2019t demand a move is that in any halfway decent marriage there is always a whole continuum of tradeoffs and negotiations that go on between a husband and wife.\u00a0 We all have our \u201cgarage\u201d that we want badly and also a laundry list of things that come ahead of it in the calculus of family life.\u00a0 The kids\u2019 braces come before that man cave you lust after.\u00a0 A minivan has to be financed before the fishing boat you\u2019ve always wanted.\u00a0 Sometimes by the time it\u2019s your turn to buy your heart\u2019s desire, your heart no longer desires it.\u00a0 Or you\u2019re too old to put it to good use.<\/p>\n
But managing to raise a family in today\u2019s society and still being married to someone you like at the end is something of an accomplishment and I guess that was what I was trying to say.\u00a0 It\u2019s a trite saying, \u201cHappy wife, happy life.\u201d\u00a0 But if you\u2019ve had a happy marriage, it rings true.\u00a0 Now before I get too sappy, I\u2019ll append the classic answer that Art (Deputy Marshal in \u201cJustified\u201d) gave to the criminal when asked if he loved his wife, \u201cWell, most of the time!\u201d\u00a0 But even that limitation admits to the fact that (mostly) happily married men recognize that even if a marriage is fraught with feminine annoyances the alternative is much sadder and lonelier.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, I was at one of those parties today and I met a bunch of nice folks and spent time with some old friends too.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,3366,1263,2860],"tags":[83,965],"class_list":["post-37247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-life-in-dunwich","category-stuff-that-personally-interests-me-miscellaneous","category-reclaiming-the-family","tag-family","tag-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\n