Normally when I take metaphorical pen to paper I like to keep a slightly easy-going and breezy attitude.\u00a0 Often, I use this attitude to allow me to riff on the latest outrages of the Left in one of my high-larious Trump vs XYZ parodies.\u00a0 But today good humor has completely deserted me.\u00a0 I am so thoroughly fed up with Mueller and Manaforte and Cohen and all of the other sleazy disgusting losers that I just want President Trump to lash out and pack them all up for Guantanamo Bay.\u00a0 Seriously, is there no one who will rid me of these people?\u00a0 Listening to the laundry list of offenses petty and felonious makes me want to trade in my human card for something better, like a subscription to the buzzard road kill of the month club.<\/p>\n
Now, I understand that this is Mueller\u2019s intention.\u00a0 He wants to inflict the maximum damage to the Republican reputation and morale before the election.\u00a0 And the smartest course is just let anything short of an indictment roll off of us like water off a duck\u2019s back.\u00a0 But what I really want is President Trump to fire Mueller and assign the job to someone who has the full dossier on what the Swamp was doing back in 2016.\u00a0 I want a grand jury to indict Comey, Strzok, Page, Mueller and all the other rats for their part in this con job.\u00a0 To be totally honest I\u2019d prefer to see them tried for treason.\u00a0 And I\u2019d prefer they start the Grand Jury tomorrow.<\/p>\n
Honestly, there are two months and more before the mid-terms and I\u2019d rather go skinny-dipping in molten lead than listen to more of this for that length of time.\u00a0 There\u2019s just no reason why we have to be subjected to any more of this.\u00a0 Just fire the low-life skunk and be done with it.\u00a0 Nothing would delight me more than to hear the Dems and the Fake News Media screeching like a chorus of scorched cats.<\/p>\n
So here is my official request to you, President Trump.\u00a0 Speaking to you in my capacity as the world’s greatest living expert on everything.\u00a0 Fire them all.\u00a0 Fire Mueller and his pack of legal jackals.\u00a0 Fire everyone at the FBI, CIA and the Justice Department who isn\u2019t demonstrably helping your administration.\u00a0 Fire every single political appointment by Obama and most of W\u2019s.\u00a0 Fire the whole damn State Department and replace them with military personnel.\u00a0 Rehire all the military officers that were fired by Obama for not thinking soldiers should walk around in dresses and high heels.\u00a0 Fire anyone who has the word diversity or affirmative in his job description.\u00a0 Fire the whole damn Education Department and anyone in the NOAA who mentions the words climate and change in that order.\u00a0 And while you\u2019re at it move the damn UN to Detroit.\u00a0 Detroit could use the business and the General Assembly needs to see what their policies look like up close and personal.<\/p>\n
Mr. President, consider that this comes from the heart.\u00a0 I\u2019m one of your biggest fans and usually keep quiet on how you take care of business.\u00a0 But I implore you, clean house.\u00a0 I think you\u2019ll gain votes from this and the economy will kick up to 6% growth just from relief.\u00a0 Sermon over.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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