{"id":4187,"date":"2018-09-05T20:49:04","date_gmt":"2018-09-06T00:49:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=4187"},"modified":"2018-09-06T21:33:51","modified_gmt":"2018-09-07T01:33:51","slug":"trump-vs-kavanaugh-you-reminds-me-of-a-man-hoodoo-you-do-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/05\/trump-vs-kavanaugh-you-reminds-me-of-a-man-hoodoo-you-do-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man.\u00a0 Hoodoo? You Do! \u2013 Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man. Hoodoo? You Do! \u2013 Part 1<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dramatis Personae: Chuck Schumer (CS); Kamala Harris (KM); Richard Blumenthal (RB); Brett Kavanaugh (BK); Mitch McConnell (MM);<\/p>\n

Scene 1: Capital Building, Senate Floor, Senate Confirmation Hearing for Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh<\/p>\n

MM \u2013 I\u2019m going to open up questions to Justice Kavanaugh from the Minority Party now.\u00a0 The approved agenda lists Senator Kamala Harris as the first senator.\u00a0 Please proceed Senator Harris.<\/p>\n

KM \u2013 Good morning Justice Kavanaugh.<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Good morning Senator Harris.<\/p>\n

KM \u2013 Justice Kavanaugh, I\u2019m going to be blunt and to the point.\u00a0 I think your originalist pose concerning the Constitution is a sham.\u00a0 I accuse you of lying to this body and harboring feelings of racial hatred, misogyny and homophobia.\u00a0 I believe you are in league with this illegitimate President and your nomination is an act of treason that should be punishable by death.\u00a0 Well what do you have to say to that?<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Oh, did you say something?\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry I was checking the box scores from the baseball games yesterday on my phone.<\/p>\n

KM \u2013 How dare you disregard the questions of this august body.<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 You mean there was a question in there?\u00a0 I thought you were just letting off steam.\u00a0 Look, I know you\u2019re not very bright.\u00a0 I figured if I just let you blather on for a while you\u2019d eventually wander off and have sex with some power broker or other in the area.\u00a0 Is Willy Brown still alive?\u00a0 Have you moved on to the other Willy yet?<\/p>\n

KM \u2013 That\u2019s assault, that\u2019s assault.\u00a0 Someone, arrest him.<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 No, it\u2019s not assault.\u00a0 Trust me I\u2019ve written the book on it.<\/p>\n

(Kamala Harris flees the room screeching and waving her arms over her head.)<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Bye Kam.\u00a0 Next!<\/p>\n

MM \u2013 Justice Kavanaugh, this is highly unorthodox!<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Sorry Senator, I lost ten bucks on one of those ballgames and it really rankled.\u00a0 I\u2019ll try to be nicer for the next chump, I mean Senator.<\/p>\n

MM \u2013 Senator Blumenthal has the floor.<\/p>\n

RB \u2013 How dare you Kavanaugh!\u00a0 How dare you!\u00a0 Senator Harris is a rising star of the Senate and the voice of a new generation in America.\u00a0 I feel like coming over there and striking you across the face.<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Now hold on, Blumenthal, as is my right as an American I do adhere to the second amendment and practice concealed carry and now that you\u2019ve threatened me, if you take one step toward me I\u2019ll be forced to put two rounds through your center of mass.\u00a0 And it is a .45, so think for a second.\u00a0 I mean I\u2019d hate to do it.\u00a0 You already look dead so it would sort of be like shooting a stuffed animal.\u00a0 I mean, sure it\u2019s good target practice but kind of unfair.\u00a0 And for the record are you one of the undead or some kind of animatronic manikin?\u00a0 \u00a0You look awful.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you follow Kamala outside I hear you\u2019ve got cash.<\/p>\n

(Senator Blumenthal dodders out of the chamber and collapses at the chamber doors.\u00a0 An EMT team trundles him out on a gurney.)<\/p>\n

MM \u2013 Please Justice Kavanaugh, I\u2019ve got to work with these people!<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Sucks being you.\u00a0 But, hey I\u2019ll be nice if they will.\u00a0 Scout\u2019s honor.<\/p>\n

MM \u2013 Alright Senator Schumer you\u2019re next on the list.<\/p>\n

CS \u2013 Ahhh, well ahhh.<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Hi Chuck.<\/p>\n

CS \u2013 No further questions.\u00a0 I move we take it to a vote.<\/p>\n

MM \u2013 Sold.\u00a0 Alright Justice Kavanaugh, you are excused now.\u00a0 And please, could you skip the State of the Union addresses for the next couple of years?\u00a0 Some of us old folks have weak hearts.<\/p>\n

BK \u2013 Believe me Mitch.\u00a0 I could use the distance too.\u00a0 You really should have this place steam cleaned or something.\u00a0 It\u2019s like a biohazard around here.\u00a0 Well, bye!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man. Hoodoo? You Do! \u2013 Part 3<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man. Hoodoo? You Do! \u2013 Part 1   Dramatis Personae: Chuck Schumer (CS); Kamala Harris (KM); Richard<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[1322,576,268,16,373],"class_list":["post-4187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-brett-kavanaugh","tag-scotus","tag-senate","tag-trump","tag-trump-vs"],"yoast_head":"\nTrump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man.\u00a0 Hoodoo? 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