Scene:\u00a0 Trump home,\u00a0 90th floor of New Trump Tower<\/p>\n
Donald Trump (DT): Melania, Where\u2019s my Halloween costume?<\/p>\n
Melania Trump (MT): I don\u2019t know schmoopy, what does it look like?<\/p>\n
DT: It\u2019s a Dead Pool costume, schmoopy.<\/p>\n
MT: I do not know the Ned Poole.<\/p>\n
DT: Not Ned Poole, Dead Pool. He\u2019s a super hero who kills bad guys and makes fun of them at the same time. He\u2019s a lot like me only poorer and he kills bad guys. Also he\u2019s very popular. If I dress up like him I\u2019m sure to get the youth vote.<\/p>\n
MT: Okay, what does it look like.<\/p>\n
DT: Well it\u2019s your typical lycra spandex super hero suit with a mask that completely covers the face.<\/p>\n
MT: Schmoopy, I don\u2019t think spandex is your look.<\/p>\n
DT: Don\u2019t worry there is molded body armor underneath to … ummm? \u2026 contour my physique.<\/p>\n
MT: Will it compensate for \u201csmall hands?\u201d<\/p>\n
DT: I have no idea what you\u2019re talking about\u2026 but yes it will.<\/p>\n
MT: But doesn\u2019t covering your face detract from your biggest advantage?<\/p>\n
DT: My stunning good looks?<\/p>\n
MT: Uh\u2026 yeah that too, but I was thinking about your famousness.<\/p>\n
DT: Already have it covered. The costume will be customized to show my hair.<\/p>\n
MT: Okay good choice but I haven\u2019t seen this costume in the 90th<\/sup> floor bedroom. Maybe it\u2019s in the 88th<\/sup> floor closet or maybe the 97th<\/sup> floor closet.<\/p>\n DT: What the hell is going on around here? The system is breaking down. I need that costume right away. It\u2019s almost Halloween and I have to start practicing my walk for the Halloween Presidential Debate Red Carpet stroll.<\/p>\n MT: But schmoopy that\u2019s two whole months from now.<\/p>\n DT: I know but there\u2019s a lot of preparation. I have to identify the rest of my entourage. I\u2019m going to need a side-kick. I guess that\u2019ll be Pence (oh boy!) and a super villian, probably dress Chris Christie up as Hillary (he\u2019ll need some extra padding now), and a super hot girlfriend in a see-through skin-tight, topless thong arrangement.<\/p>\n MT: Well at least you don\u2019t have to look for her. I have just the outfit, it\u2019s perfect.<\/p>\n DT: Uh schmoopy I don\u2019t think that\u2019s a good idea.<\/p>\n MT: Why? Just because I\u2019m gonna be the First Lady I can\u2019t show off the merchandise.<\/p>\n DT: Uh \u2026 yeah, that\u2019s it. But also for this occasion I\u2019ll need to maximize the effect. I\u2019ll need someone between twenty two and twenty two and a third years old. It\u2019s been researched. I\u2019m depending on getting the young nerd vote and any one older will turn them off.<\/p>\n MT: Oh!!! This politics is ruining our lives. You told me I had at least three more years before I\u2019m too old for you! This is most unfair.<\/p>\n DT: No, no schmoopy, it\u2019s made things better. After I win the election you\u2019ll have at least four years. I\u2019ll need to sew up the second term and it wouldn\u2019t be smart to dump you in the middle of the campaign. You see, it\u2019s a win\/win.<\/p>\n MT: Oh schmoopy, you\u2019re so smart. So tell me more about this Dead Pool. Why does he wear a mask? To hide his secret identity?<\/p>\n DT: No, he\u2019s horribly disfigured. Boy I\u2019m glad I\u2019m not really him. It would be a terrible loss to the culture to lose this beautiful face. I mean think of it. If I weren\u2019t this handsome I would never have been able to capture you.<\/p>\n MT: Huh? Oh yes, yes. That\u2019s right. A girl needs a handsome face. That\u2019s all, that\u2019s all. Sure, sure. Uh listen schmoopy, I\u2019ve got to go out right now I\u2019m trying on a few platinum and emerald ball gowns for the Inauguration and I can\u2019t decide whether they are too traditional. I\u2019ll see you tonight in Sydney for the Opera.<\/p>\n DT: No can do schmoopy. I\u2019ve got to get this Dead Pool thing straightened out. The election and the country are depending on me to get this right. Otherwise, disaster.<\/p>\n MT: Suit yourself. (Heads out the door.)<\/p>\n DT: …Now where was I? Oh yeah, (selects a contact on his phone and it rings). Hello Christie, yeah go ahead with the Hillary costume. I don\u2019t care if powder blue makes your ass look big. And also I\u2019ll need you to close up traffic on the George Washington Bridge for a few hours. Oh stop complaining you\u2019re not gonna get re-elected anyway. If it makes a difference we won\u2019t do it during rush hour. I need to be able to jump off one of the cables and crash through the roof of a car while playing \u201cJust Call Me Angel In the Morning.\u201d Why? You’re asking why?\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know anything about becoming President?<\/p>\n [paypal-donation]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Scene:\u00a0 Trump home,\u00a0 90th floor of New Trump Tower Donald Trump (DT): Melania, Where\u2019s my Halloween costume? Melania Trump (MT): I don\u2019t know schmoopy, what<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[46,168,51,16],"class_list":["post-466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-dead-pool","tag-humor","tag-presidential-election","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"\n