{"id":4706,"date":"2018-10-08T22:05:40","date_gmt":"2018-10-09T02:05:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=4706"},"modified":"2018-10-08T22:05:40","modified_gmt":"2018-10-09T02:05:40","slug":"trump-vs-the-ozymandias-bias","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/08\/trump-vs-the-ozymandias-bias\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs the Ozymandias Bias"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Dramatis Personae:\u00a0 \u00a0 President Trump &#8211; (PT);\u00a0 Vice President Pence &#8211; (VPP)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Scene 1 &#8211; White House West Wing,\u00a0 Oval Office;\u00a0 8 am,\u00a0 Monday Morning;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>(President Trump is seated at his desk and calls out through the open door)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Mike \u2026 <em>Mike<\/em> \u2026\u2026 <strong>Mike<\/strong> \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u00a0 <strong>PEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(Vice President Pence enters through the door)<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Right here as always Mr. President.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Mike, good work on that Senate vote thing.\u00a0 You kept your cool with all those blue-haired psycho broads screaming for your blood and got the thing done.\u00a0 Although I think I would have thrown a couple of zingers up to the peanut gallery that would have been better than repeating, \u201cwill the sergeant at arms please restore order to the gallery\u201d a hundred times.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Thank you Mr. President but I must admit that all the credit must go to you for showing such firmness in the face of an almost maniacal determination against you.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 I have to agree with you Mike.\u00a0 It is all because of me and that\u2019s why I called you.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 (mumbling under his breath) Oh, no.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Mike, we can\u2019t let this great victory go uncelebrated.\u00a0 We must provide a memorial to it.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Well sir, that hardly seems \u2026<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 I was considering adding my face to Mount Rushmore but honestly it doesn\u2019t seem fair to me.\u00a0 I mean, come on!\u00a0 Sure, Washington and Lincoln won wars but Jefferson and Roosevelt?\u00a0 All they did was write stuff, well except for that canal and we did give it away so big deal!<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Oh sir, this is such a bad\u2026<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Mike, you\u2019re so right.\u00a0 Mount Rushmore is such a bad location for a monument.\u00a0 I mean who goes to North Dakota?<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 South Dakota.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 You see?\u00a0 Nobody even knows where it is.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 What I meant was\u2026<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Exactly.\u00a0 The American people deserve better.\u00a0 As a tribute to the intelligence of the American people electing me president I am signing an executive order authorizing the collection of gold for the hair on my monument.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Gold?<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Yes, gold for the hair will make it more visible and also act as caulking to prevent erosion of the head.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 How big is this going to be?<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 None of this is written in stone yet.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Joke?<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Not funny.\u00a0 Anyway, the way I envision this is the top thousand feet of Pike\u2019s Peak can be reworked so that it\u2019s shaped like a much larger version of the Washington Monument.\u00a0 And on top of that will be my head with the hair made out of 24 carat gold.\u00a0 Can you just see it?<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 I\u2019m imagining some kind of gargantuan pez dispenser that can be seen across all of North America.\u00a0 Your hair will blind jet airline pilots for a thousand miles in all directions.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Well that\u2019s what the Tac Visor is for isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Mr. President, have you ever heard of Ozymandias?<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Never was a big fan of Heavy Metal.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Ah, well.\u00a0 Mr. President, even though we are all very appreciative of what you did with the Kavanaugh appointment it may still be premature for you to self-declare the need for a memorial to yourself quite so gargantuan.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Why?<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 Well, if for no other reason, because there hasn\u2019t been enough gold mined on the whole planet to cover a monument that big.\u00a0 Especially if it has to accurately scale up your own, ahhh, generous hair style.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Ah hah!\u00a0 That\u2019s where you\u2019re wrong.\u00a0 I have consulted with Elon Musk.\u00a0 And in exchange for calling off the SEC from hounding him, he will locate and transport a giant gold asteroid right to Pike\u2019s Peak to be used conveniently for my hair.\u00a0 So as you can see it\u2019s all coming together.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 You\u2019re right.\u00a0 What was I thinking?\u00a0 How could this not be a good idea?\u00a0 Anything else sir?<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Well, as I said earlier, I think you did a great job on the Senate vote thing and I was wondering if you wanted your head to be put somewhere too.<\/p>\n<p>VPP \u2013 No, thank you sir.\u00a0 My head is going to need to be examined pretty soon and I don\u2019t think I could bear to have it staring back at me from a mountain any time soon.\u00a0 Besides, I&#8217;m starting to think my head is stuck somewhere it won&#8217;t be seen.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Suit yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dramatis Personae:\u00a0 \u00a0 President Trump &#8211; (PT);\u00a0 Vice President Pence &#8211; (VPP) Scene 1 &#8211; White House West Wing,\u00a0 Oval Office;\u00a0 8 am,\u00a0 Monday Morning;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[1322,372,1383,16,391,373],"class_list":["post-4706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-brett-kavanaugh","tag-mike-pence","tag-mount-rushmore","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor","tag-trump-vs"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Trump vs the Ozymandias Bias - Orion&#039;s Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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