Dramatis Personae:\u00a0 Ellen DeGeneris (ED);\u00a0 Rachel Maddow (RM);\u00a0 Caitlyn Jenner (CJ);<\/p>\n
Scene 1: Announcer\u2019s Booth at the Dolby Theater, Rachel Maddow, Ellen DeGeneres and Caitlyn Jenner hosting the PBS Oscars preview broadcast.<\/strong><\/p>\n RM \u2013 Hello Woke Resistance America.\u00a0 I\u2019m here with Ellen and Caitlyn to cover the first completely hetero-male purged Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Awards.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 And what a liberating experience it is.\u00a0 Not to have to deal with the male gaze.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Sing it sister.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Whoohoo!<\/p>\n ED \u2013 Oh yeah.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 And finally the Oscars are free to explore films about real people instead of restricting topics to dated stale paradigms.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Well this isn\u2019t the first time that will be possible.\u00a0 Remember last year we had the fabulous, \u201cCall Me by Your Name.\u201d<\/p>\n ED \u2013 Yes, indeed and in 2017 we had the diversity rich, \u201cMoonlight.\u201d<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 At this late date must I remind you of the damning circumstance that neither of those films had a single transgendered character?<\/p>\n RM \u2013 True, but both were groundbreaking positive portrayals of gay people overcoming the hurdles that a judgmental world places in front of them.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 How can you begin to compare the trivial annoyances of being gay to the titanic struggle of being trans?\u00a0 I mean it\u2019s unthinkable.\u00a0 It\u2019s almost as if you are transphobic or something.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 What?\u00a0 Are you nu \u2026 \u00a0\u00a0I mean no, no, no.\u00a0 I\u2019m so pro-trans it isn\u2019t even funny.\u00a0 Some of my best friends are trans.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 Me too.\u00a0 Not like # metoo but as in, I also.\u00a0 I\u2019m a big trans-fan.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Right sure.\u00a0 You\u2019ve really straightened me out about this.\u00a0 But not that kind of straight.\u00a0 I hate straight.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 But I\u2019m straight.\u00a0 Do you hate me?<\/p>\n RM \u2013 How could you be straight?\u00a0 You\u2019ve had your penis removed.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 But I\u2019m a trans-woman.\u00a0 Being straight just means I like men.\u00a0 Are you doubting I\u2019m a woman?\u00a0 Because that would be trans-phobic.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 No, no.\u00a0 I was just a little confused on the terminology.\u00a0 Now I get it.\u00a0 It\u2019s all good now.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 Sure straight\u2019s great.\u00a0 It\u2019s all good.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Hmmm, I\u2019ll have to think about how I feel about all this but for now let\u2019s move forward with the show.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Absolutely.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 Yes let\u2019s.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 So the nominees for best picture are truly exciting and run the full gamut of artistic expression.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 It\u2019s interesting that this year the Academy didn\u2019t announce the nominees ahead of time but will reveal them as the award is being announced.\u00a0 As a member of the Academy you know the list of nominees.\u00a0 Can you tell us a little bit about their plots?<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Certainly.\u00a0 The first nominee is called \u201cUnhealing Wound.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s the story of a trans-woman coming to terms with the endless pain and psychic agony of hormone therapy and vaginoplasty.\u00a0 This movie celebrates the bravery and specialness of trans-women.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Hey that\u2019s really something.\u00a0 How brave.\u00a0 How solemn.\u00a0 That will be on my top ten for March.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 I\u2019m there for sure.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 The next movie up is \u201cMan Enough.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s the fictional account of the first trans-man in the Navy Seals.\u00a0 It follows this extraordinary man as he battles arbitrary requirements of the transphobic military traditions to soar to the top of his field.\u00a0 And he knows that he has finally arrived when he is joined by his fellow Seals writing their names in the snow during a training maneuver in Alaska.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Inspirational, truly solemn.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 It\u2019s a musical comedy.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Oh.\u00a0\u00a0 \u2026\u00a0 Brave then?<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Sure why not.\u00a0 Next up is the top contender for the Oscar.\u00a0 It called \u201cMade for Each Other.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s the story of a straight married couple who get swept up in the excitement of transgenderism and become a transcouple.\u00a0 This is also a musical although not a comedy.\u00a0 There is a thought-provoking scene on their trans-honeymoon night where they bravely face the challenges of a trans\/trans sexual relationship when they sing the duet, \u201cYour Guess is as Good as Mine.\u201d<\/p>\n ED \u2013 It sounds magical.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 I\u2019ll bet the Chicago Tribune raved.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Absolutely.\u00a0 And the last entry is a science fiction film about the first trans-gendered robot called eloquently AC\/DC.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 So cutting edge.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure the special effects are ground breaking.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 It\u2019s in 3D.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 You know Caitlyn, these movies are just amazing and groundbreaking as well.\u00a0 But I\u2019ve detected a trend.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 What\u2019s that Rachel.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Every single one of them is about transgendered characters.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Yes.\u00a0 So?<\/p>\n RM \u2013 Well, don\u2019t you think that there\u2019s a danger of over-representing a very small proportion of the population and thereby losing the interest of the general public.<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Nonsense.\u00a0 The public is clamoring for trans-themed entertainment.<\/p>\n RM \u2013 But what about representing the rest of even the LGBTQ community?\u00a0 Where are the lesbian and gay characters?<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 Stop being reactionary.\u00a0 The debate is over.\u00a0 It\u2019s been decided.\u00a0 Since the first ninety years of Oscar were essentially transgender phobic the next twenty years need to be exclusively transgender themed.\u00a0 It will be fabulous.\u00a0 It\u2019s even being renamed the Olivias and the statuette will be put on hormone therapy immediately.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 Well there you have it folks.\u00a0 Caitlyn has introduced us to the brave new world of the Oscars, I mean Olivias and we\u2019ll go live to the ceremonies already in progress.\u00a0 Speaking for myself, Caitlyn and Rachel, \u2026 uh where did Rachel go?<\/p>\n CJ \u2013 She just bolted and mumbled something about heading over to FoxNews.<\/p>\n ED \u2013 Oh, okay.\u00a0 Well from me and Caitlyn, goodnight and have a brave tomorrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dramatis Personae:\u00a0 Ellen DeGeneris (ED);\u00a0 Rachel Maddow (RM);\u00a0 Caitlyn Jenner (CJ); Scene 1: Announcer\u2019s Booth at the Dolby Theater, Rachel Maddow, Ellen DeGeneres and Caitlyn<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288],"tags":[91,512],"class_list":["post-5427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","tag-comedy","tag-the-oscars"],"yoast_head":"\n