Donald Trump (DT)\u00a0 Hey Bannon!\u00a0 Where\u2019s my Deadpool suit? I left it on this chair five minutes ago and now it\u2019s gone.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a thief around here.\u00a0 Call Christie.\u00a0 He used to be a cop or a judge or something.<\/p>\n
Campaign Chief Executive Stephen Bannon (SB)\u00a0 No Mr. Trump.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t stolen.\u00a0 I had it put in the closet.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 You stole my costume?\u00a0 Whose side are you on?\u00a0 Even Rosie O\u2019Donnell never stole my stuff.\u00a0 And she\u2019s the worst person in the world you know.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Governor Christie called me about your George Washington Bridge plan.\u00a0 I told the Secret Service and they stopped all the arrangements you were making.\u00a0 Mr. Trump you realize how dangerous and irresponsible your plan is don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Relax.\u00a0 It was gonna be done with CGI.\u00a0 You know. Green screen (or blue screen or sun screen or something).\u00a0 Come on Bannon we\u2019re behind in this race.\u00a0 We\u2019ve gotta shake things up.\u00a0 Start thinking outside the box.\u00a0 That\u2019s why I hired you.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Well CGI is okay but I think we need to do something a little less uhhh \u2026 symbolic and a little more focused.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Well then, you come up with something and hurry up.\u00a0 I hate to be behind that old bag of bones.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Bag of bones?\u00a0 Hmmm.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ve got an interesting idea. All of Hillary\u2019s recent health problems, the coughing, the spastic tics, the cackle, the slips and falls, could be explained if we found out that she had died years ago during that surgery for her broken elbow back in 2009.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 But if she died what is she doing walking around?<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 The walking dead.\u00a0 We\u2019ll locate a doctor who can explain how the Hillary beast could have been re-animated using either black magic or some kind of zombie elixir. Then we\u2019ll get some legal scholars to show that once she died and was revived her age reset to newborn and therefore she\u2019s too young to fulfill the minimum age limit for president.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 And they say I\u2019m crazy.\u00a0 Do you seriously believe anyone is gonna buy the idea that Hillary is seven years old.\u00a0 I mean, come on!\u00a0 Look at her.\u00a0 She\u2019s a gargoyle.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 All right.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t like zombie how about vampire?\u00a0 She always seems to be covered with make-up.\u00a0 That could be to protect her skin from bursting into flames in the sunlight.\u00a0 It would explain why she couldn\u2019t stay out at the World Trade Center.\u00a0 And it would account for her new vehicle.\u00a0 Obviously she\u2019s keeping a coffin full of the dirt of her homeland in the car to revive her after the weakening effects of the sun.\u00a0 That explains why an hour later she was revived.\u00a0 How\u2019s that for thinking outside the \u201cbox?\u201d<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Actually, I could believe that one.\u00a0 But are you sure that will help me?\u00a0 I hear kids actually empathize with vampires in stories nowadays.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Actually more of them sympathize with werewolves than with vampires.\u00a0 It would be Team Donald versus Team Hillary and we’d mop the floor with them.\u00a0 We could establish that you were bitten by a werewolf while helping out down in Louisiana and now you sprout thick hair during the full moon and devour illegal aliens you run across.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Sprout thick hair?\u00a0 Hmm.\u00a0 Maybe this werewolf thing isn\u2019t as bad as it sounds.\u00a0 Seems like there could be some advantages.\u00a0 Could I tape some of my campaign commercials during my good hair, I mean werewolf phase?<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Well Mr. Trump I\u2019m no expert on lycanthropy but once you transform I believe the only thing you\u2019ll be able to do is rip people to shreds.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Interesting.\u00a0 Bannon I have a side job for you to take care of.\u00a0 I want you to set up a media event.\u00a0 Hire Rosie O\u2019Donnell to debate me on air during the full, I mean next week.\u00a0 Offer whatever she wants, but don\u2019t pay upfront.\u00a0 And take out the usual double indemnity policy on her.\u00a0 I just have this feeling.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Mr. Trump, come on, you\u2019re not a werewolf.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Bannon, while I was down in Louisiana we had a little incident with something they call a Loup Garou.\u00a0 Know what that is?<\/p>\n
(SB) Yes.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Good.\u00a0 Go call Rosie.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Okay Mr. Trump.\u00a0 I\u2019m assuming we won\u2019t actually broadcast this meeting.\u00a0 That might negatively impact the campaign.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 Definitely not.\u00a0 Just keep a copy of the video for my private use.\u00a0 Oh and be sure to leave some floss and a toothbrush at the studio.\u00a0 She looks like she could be kinda tough.<\/p>\n
(SB)\u00a0 Certainly Mr. Trump.\u00a0 All will be arranged as you want.<\/p>\n
(DT)\u00a0 See now I know I was right hiring you.\u00a0 You\u2019re a very reasonable man.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Donald Trump (DT)\u00a0 Hey Bannon!\u00a0 Where\u2019s my Deadpool suit? I left it on this chair five minutes ago and now it\u2019s gone.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,4,6],"tags":[168,56,51,16,54,57,55,58],"class_list":["post-552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-sff","category-trump","tag-humor","tag-loup-garou","tag-presidential-election","tag-trump","tag-vampire","tag-walking-dead","tag-wrewolf","tag-zombie"],"yoast_head":"\n