Scene 1: Oval Office, Monday morning.<\/p>\n
Vice President Pence (VPP) Mr. President, We\u2019ve got a problem.<\/p>\n
President Trump (PT) Pence, what the hell is wrong now? I\u2019ve already right sized the government and eliminated the Departments of Education, Energy and the EPA. What is left to worry about?<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0The Speaker of the House and the Senate Majority Leader are forming a coalition with the democrats to produce a veto proof majority and use it to prevent any of your initiatives being funded.<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Don\u2019t these idiots ever learn? Alright, convene a presidential address in the Capitol. I\u2019ll \u201cpersuade\u201d them. Get me a list of all the democrats and the Speaker\u2019s and the Majority Leader\u2019s allies in this cabal.<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0Mr. President, I didn\u2019t know you knew the word cabal.<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Ha ha. Any more jokes at my expense, Pense and I\u2019ll add you to this list.<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0Sorry sir.<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Okay, get going. And get me the Alka Seltzer. No, make that Brioschi.<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0What\u2019s Brioschi?<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Oh, just look it up.<\/p>\n
Scene 2: US Capital, Wednesday night.<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Ladies and Gentlemen, we are here tonight to move forward on the people\u2019s work. This afternoon I met with the republican and democratic leadership teams for the house and senate. I gave them an ultimatum, either cooperate with my agenda or be eaten. Apparently they thought I was joking. They all started laughing. So I ate them.<\/p>\n
Now I know what you\u2019re thinking, he couldn\u2019t have eaten all of them, they\u2019re way too greasy. But you\u2019re wrong. As US President and werewolf I take my responsibilities and meals very seriously. So while I feel decidedly queasy I am fully committed to seeing this problem through to its logical end. So to speed up the process would any of you congressmen or senators who feels he must in good conscience vote against my requested legislation please move toward the left side of the room, your left that is. Everyone else can leave now and the last one out please lock the door behind you. Thank you and good night.<\/p>\n
\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026\u2026\u2026. Good they’re gone. Now let\u2019s get down to business\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n
Scene 3: Oval Office, Thursday morning.<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0Good morning sir, how are you feeling today.<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Pence, this job is killing me. My cholesterol is through the roof and I can barely get into my fat suit. Look at me. I look like Jabba the Hut.<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0Sir, no one would blame you for taking it easy for a few weeks. Why don\u2019t you try a golf holiday?<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0But who will keep an eye on things while I\u2019m gone.<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0Well Mr. President, after the events of the last few months I doubt there\u2019s anyone left who will give us any trouble. I\u2019ll hold down the fort.<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Okay I\u2019ll do it. Where do you suggest I go?<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0Well there is a big charity tournament in Hawaii. I believe your predecessor is one of the sponsors of the match.<\/p>\n
PT: \u00a0Him? Hmmm. Well why not? By tomorrow I\u2019ll probably be a little hungry again and he\u2019s all skin and bones anyway. Might as well mix business with pleasure. I have a feeling I\u2019m gonna kill it on the links.<\/p>\n
VPP: \u00a0Yes Mr. President.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Scene 1: Oval Office, Monday morning. Vice President Pence (VPP) Mr. President, We\u2019ve got a problem. President Trump (PT) Pence, what the hell is wrong<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[168,51,16,60],"class_list":["post-600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-humor","tag-presidential-election","tag-trump","tag-werewolf"],"yoast_head":"\n