{"id":6613,"date":"2019-03-31T21:00:38","date_gmt":"2019-04-01T01:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=6613"},"modified":"2019-03-31T13:35:06","modified_gmt":"2019-03-31T17:35:06","slug":"trump-vs-its-a-good-life-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/31\/trump-vs-its-a-good-life-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs It\u2019s a Good Life (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dramatis Personae: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez \u2013 (AOC); Nancy Pelosi (NP); Al Gore \u2013 (AG); Narrator who looks and sounds like Rod Serling \u2013 (NRS); Barack Obama \u2013 (BO); Michelle Obama \u2013 (MO);<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scene 1- Unknown Office building; 8 pm Mid-July<\/strong><\/p>\n

A narrator, who looks and sounds a hell of a lot like Rod Serling circa 1961, is standing in front of a map of the United States<\/strong><\/p>\n

NRS \u2013 Tonight\u2019s cautionary tale is most unusual and requires that we imagine the following.\u00a0 Here behind me is a map of the United States.\u00a0 But what if suddenly it disappeared (whole map goes dark except one point of light<\/strong>) and all that was left was a tiny dot called Washington D.C.?\u00a0 Now imagine that within this tiny world there was no longer radio, television, the internet, telephones, gas engines or even electricity.\u00a0 And assume that the only thing that farmers were allowed to grow was vegetables.\u00a0 No beef, pork, chicken or fish.\u00a0 And finally imagine that even wishing for any of these things was now a death sentence executed by a monster.\u00a0 If you can imagine all that you\u2019ve just entered the Bizarro Zone (well I couldn\u2019t use the real name).<\/p>\n

Scene 2 \u2013 A ramshackle farm building with peeling paint and a wooden porch with a porch swing with an old haggard woman fanning herself with a piece of paper.<\/strong><\/p>\n

NRS \u2013 And here is the lair of the monster, a farmhouse with all the misery of pre-industrial life on display.\u00a0 Over there in the swing on the porch is Aunt Nancy Pelosi, she once had the most influence over the monster but one time she hinted that maybe eliminating all private jets wouldn\u2019t be a \u201cgood thing\u201d and she was reduced to the cracked-brain non-gavel wielding hag you see before you.<\/p>\n

NP \u2013 Hey not so much of the hag thing.\u00a0 I just got another facelift and I\u2019m a damn good-looking babe, you male chauvinist pig.<\/p>\n

NRS \u2013 As I was saying, the monster does not like to be contradicted.\u00a0 Oh, and I\u2019ve forgotten to introduce the monster.\u00a0 She\u2019s a bug-eyed petulant millennial Latina from the Bronx who can\u2019t even spell climatology but don\u2019t be fooled.\u00a0 There\u2019s a nasty mean streak behind that googly eyed expression and what passes for a brain is completely in charge of her surroundings.\u00a0 Meet Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or as she\u2019s known to her fawning minions A-oh-see. (swift view change to show AOC trying to get something unstuck from between her horse teeth with her pinky nail, then noticing the camera and glaring in a cross-eyed scowl.<\/p>\n

Scene 3 \u2013 Same farmhouse from the viewpoint facing the road.\u00a0 An overweight man (Al Gore) on a delivery bicycle is straining along the driveway to the house.\u00a0 On the ground in front of the house A-oh-see is playing in the dust.\u00a0 He pulls up in front of her.<\/strong><\/p>\n

AG \u2013 Hi, there A-oh-see.\u00a0 My it\u2019s good to see you today.\u00a0 Whatcha doing there?\u00a0 Whatever it is it\u2019s sure good, but I was just wondering what you were doing there.<\/p>\n

AOC \u2013 I was figuring out how many white men it takes to pull a wagon for ten women of color in the next Cinco de Mayo parade.<\/p>\n

AG \u2013 Oh, that\u2019s a real good thing.\u00a0 Why I never knew so much good figuring going on as you sure can do.<\/p>\n

AOC \u2013 Yeah, go away now, you\u2019re starting to make me mad.<\/p>\n

(Gore quickly scurries away toward the house.\u00a0 He carries some boxes into the kitchen and addresses Michelle Obama who is shucking corn in the sink)<\/p>\n

AG \u2013 Hello Mrs. Obama, it\u2019s certainly a good day today and we all just love A-oh-see so much, that\u2019s right, she was out there figuring and figuring and it was just great.<\/p>\n

MO \u2013 Hello Al.\u00a0 Yeah, it\u2019s certainly a great day all right and we\u2019re real happy here, we are.<\/p>\n

AG \u2013 I brought you some things for the party tonight.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got corn flour and whole wheat flour and baking soda.<\/p>\n

MO \u2013 Have you got any white flour for the cake?<\/p>\n

AG \u2013 Oh, we don\u2019t have any more of that.\u00a0 Not since A-oh-see explained to us just how evil white is.\u00a0 No, we don\u2019t want none of that, we don\u2019t.\u00a0 I mean we used to think it was useful but it\u2019s real good that A-oh-see set us straight on that.\u00a0 Well not straight, we don\u2019t say straight no more we don\u2019t, no sir, I mean no ma\u2019am, Ma\u2019am.<\/p>\n

MO \u2013 Yeah, it\u2019s funny how you forget how things used to be when you could just say something without being afraid.<\/p>\n

AG \u2013 Oh, it\u2019s good that you said that but I don\u2019t think you mean it because it\u2019s much better now that we don\u2019t say anything that A-oh-see says is bad.\u00a0 It\u2019s real, good.<\/p>\n

MO \u2013 That\u2019s right, it\u2019s real, good.\u00a0 But last week when she was denouncing honey because it was stolen from bees, she got so excited from screaming that her eyes were extra bulged out and I thought maybe her blood pressure might be reaching maybe five hundred or something, mumble, mumble, mumble\u2026<\/p>\n

(Al Gore looking panicky and grabbing his box and heading for the door)<\/p>\n

AG \u2013 I better be getting on, but can you let A-oh-see know that I got her corn flour that she likes so much?\u00a0 Can you tell her it was me who got it specially for her?<\/p>\n

MO \u2013 I sure will Al.\u00a0 But don\u2019t worry she hates you much less than most other white men.<\/p>\n

Scene 4 \u2013 Same farmhouse, upstairs where Barack Obama is putting on his tie for the party.\u00a0 He looks in the mirror and sees A-oh-see staring at him in her friendliest cross-eyed frown.<\/strong><\/p>\n

BO \u2013 Oh, hi there, A-oh-see.\u00a0 It\u2019s good that you were standing behind so quiet like.<\/p>\n

AOC \u2013 None of the other congress persons came to play with me today.\u00a0 I wanted congress persons to play with today.<\/p>\n

BO \u2013 Yes, it\u2019s good that you wanted them to come but last time you denounced Debbie Wasserman Schultz to the Congressional Black Caucus as a Zionist collaborator and they shaved her head and painted it red.\u00a0 Folks were awful upset about that.<\/p>\n

AOC \u2013 But I want to play with other congress persons.<\/p>\n

BO \u2013 Tell you what, we\u2019ll invite some of the rinos.\u00a0 They\u2019ll be so grateful just for being asked that they\u2019ll come even if you do denounce them.\u00a0 they\u2019re used to it anyway.\u00a0 Anyway, A-oh-see everybody loves you.\u00a0 You\u2019re everybody\u2019s favorite.<\/p>\n

AOC \u2013 But I remember one time that somebody thought bad things about me.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember who it was.\u00a0 Who was that?<\/p>\n

BO \u2013 Oh, that was Joe Crowley, after you beat him in the primary.\u00a0 He said you weren\u2019t qualified.\u00a0 But don\u2019t worry, Michelle had the FBI and the IRS defenestrate him so he won\u2019t bother you anymore.<\/p>\n

AOC \u2013 That\u2019s right Joe Crowley, he was a bad white man, a very bad white man.\u00a0 I hate anybody who doesn\u2019t do what I want.<\/p>\n

BO \u2013 But everybody loves you A-oh-see, you\u2019re everybody\u2019s favorite.\u00a0 Now come on, let\u2019s get ready for the party.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To be continued \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dramatis Personae: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez \u2013 (AOC); Nancy Pelosi (NP); Al Gore \u2013 (AG); Narrator who looks and sounds like Rod Serling \u2013 (NRS); Barack Obama<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,818,237,4,244,6,240,1661],"tags":[1820,1657,1821,520,16,391,373,838],"class_list":["post-6613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-ocf","category-reviews","category-sff","category-sff-tv-reviews","category-trump","category-tv-reviews","category-twilight-zone","tag-al-gore","tag-alexandria-ocasio-cortez","tag-aoc","tag-barack-obama","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor","tag-trump-vs","tag-twilight-zone"],"yoast_head":"\nTrump vs It\u2019s a Good Life (Part 1) - 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