Donald Trump (DT):\u00a0 Pence!\u00a0 Where the hell have you gone now!\u00a0 Will you get in here?\u00a0 I need your so-called opinion.<\/p>\n
Mike Pence (MP):\u00a0 I\u2019m right here Mr. Trump.\u00a0 I was just on the phone with George Stephanopoulos.\u00a0 He wanted to know if you were sorry for your history of hate speech against a metabolically challenged member of the LGBTQ community.<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 What?\u00a0 Who the hell is he talking about?<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 I think he was talking about Rosie O\u2019Donnell.<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 You can tell that muppet troll of a fake journalist that he can kiss my ass.\u00a0 Now come on.\u00a0 We have work to do.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 How can I help?<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 I don\u2019t like these picks we\u2019re getting for the Cabinet.\u00a0 These guys are all old and boring.\u00a0 I mean Romney?\u00a0 We need someone tough and smart.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Well, sir, what qualification would you rate as most important; confirmability, expertise, loyalty?<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0\u00a0 Balls.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Excuse me?<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 I want somebody who\u2019s not afraid to tell the Press or Congress or the Europeans to pound sand when they start whining.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Mr. Trump, I don\u2019t think you understand the art of compromise.<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 I don\u2019t do compromise.\u00a0 I fight.\u00a0 I get what I want by knowing what the other guy will and won\u2019t do.\u00a0 That\u2019s the kind of men I want working for me.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Could you give me some examples of this type of man?<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 The history books are full of them.\u00a0 Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Vlad the Impaler, Alexander the Great, Napoleon.\u00a0 All my heroes.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Sir, those are brutal conquerors.\u00a0 They hardly reflect the American spirit.<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 Fine.\u00a0 How about George Washington, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, George E. Patton, Robert E. Lee?\u00a0 They were Americans, weren\u2019t they?<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Yes, but those are wartime leaders.\u00a0 We\u2019re at peace.<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 Bull!\u00a0 We\u2019ve been at war in this country for over a hundred years with the communists.\u00a0 I need men who know how to fight.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Nevertheless, I don\u2019t think men of that caliber exist today.\u00a0 Where could you find them?<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 Pence, did your mother ever give birth to any children that lived?\u00a0 The military of course.\u00a0 All those high-ranking officers that Obama fired for not kowtowing to the LGBTQ mafia.\u00a0 They\u2019ll be perfect.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Mr. Trump, that\u2019s brilliant!\u00a0 I\u2019ll get right on it.<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0\u00a0 Ding, ding, ding.\u00a0 Finally, you hear.\u00a0 Hey, do me a favor.\u00a0 See what you can do about returning the name to War Department.\u00a0 I think that kind of rebranding will attract the right kind of recruit.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Yes, sir.<\/p>\n
DT:\u00a0 And find out if I can transfer the Corporation for Public Broadcasting into the Army.\u00a0 I have this idea about having Big Bird court-martialed and hanged for treason.<\/p>\n
MP:\u00a0 Uhhh, okay?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Donald Trump (DT):\u00a0 Pence!\u00a0 Where the hell have you gone now!\u00a0 Will you get in here?\u00a0 I need your so-called opinion. Mike Pence (MP):\u00a0 I\u2019m<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[26,88,168,151,16],"class_list":["post-682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-american-exceptionalism","tag-cabinet-picks","tag-humor","tag-parody","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"\n