(Scene 1 \u2013 White House West Wing)<\/p>\n
President Trump (PT):\u00a0 Schmoopy, schmoopy.\u00a0 Where are you?<\/p>\n
Melania Trump (MT):\u00a0 Right here schmoopy.\u00a0 I was just on-line buying a new summer house in Tokyo.\u00a0 I am tired of the New York.\u00a0 It is smelly and ugly and the mayor is the smelly, ugly, commie pinko.\u00a0 I hate the barricade and the ugly, smelly, mean people who are mean to me and our son.<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 Who is being mean to our son, schmoopy?\u00a0 I\u2019ll have the secret service water board him.<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 You cannot schmoopy.\u00a0 It is a mean girl from SNL and you cannot use the torture on girls.\u00a0 They\u2019re so mean, they do not even notice it.\u00a0 It\u2019s much better to get the National Enquirer to say that she has the herpes.<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 Fine, I\u2019ll go with that.\u00a0 Now I need your help.<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Of course schmoopy.\u00a0 We must all support the Commando of Cheap.<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 That\u2019s Commander in Chief.<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Oh.\u00a0 Well, sure, why not?<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 Anyway, I need help with a problem.\u00a0 There are millions of American women who think I mean to do them harm.\u00a0 Did you see the news clips of the women with the hats in Washington?<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 These are the pussy-heads?<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Oh schmoopy, there is no help for that.\u00a0 If your head is up there then you cannot hear anything, believe me.\u00a0 It is like the American expression, \u201cyou have the head up the butthole.\u201d<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 Yes, but we must try.\u00a0 I want as much support for my policies as I can possibly get.<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Schmoopy, I will try.\u00a0 I will talk to the hat women.\u00a0 I will ask them to take their heads out of their hats and hear the words.<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 Thank you schmoopy.\u00a0 Now I must go and save the world from Prince Charles and Al Gore.\u00a0 They\u2019re using up so much jet fuel during their celebrity protests against global warming that the strategic petroleum reserve is on EMPTY and the blinking red light is about to come on.<\/p>\n
(Scene 2 \u2013 Podium of the Pussy Hat Rally in Central Park)<\/p>\n
Rosie O\u2019Donnell (RO):\u00a0 Sisters, we are here to resist the evil Trump regime with every fiber of our beings.\u00a0 With our hats, we form a sisterhood of solidarity.\u00a0 We are stronger than any man and we will not give up until we have conquered the enemy and his evil patriarchal rule.<\/p>\n
Joy Beyhar (JB):\u00a0 Thank you Rosie, and now ladies we have a controversial speaker.\u00a0 Sort of a traitor to the sisterhood.\u00a0 Let\u2019s give polite attention to Melania Trump.<\/p>\n
RO:\u00a0 Booo!\u00a0 Booo!\u00a0 We hate you!<\/p>\n
JB:\u00a0 Quiet Rosie.\u00a0 We have no time to waste.<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Thank you Joy.\u00a0 You are very kind to let me speak to these crazy women.\u00a0 And Rosie, have some cheesecake right away.\u00a0 You must be having the low energy.<\/p>\n
RO:\u00a0 AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Hello Nasty Women.\u00a0 I am the First Lady Melania Trump.\u00a0 I know that you are angry with schmoopy because he said you are ugly and talk too much and because he gave the ass-kicking to Mrs. Clinton.<\/p>\n
Crowd:\u00a0 Booo!\u00a0\u00a0 Boooo!<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Please nasty women.\u00a0 Let me speak.\u00a0 You must know the truth and stop putting your heads in the pussy.\u00a0 Schmoopy does not mean you the harm.\u00a0 He only wants you to shut up and make the sandwich.\u00a0 I heard him say so.\u00a0 And he is right.\u00a0 If you do these things some of you may be able to find ugly husbands and produce ugly children.\u00a0 I know these things because I have friends and relatives who are also ugly and they are doing these things and producing the children.\u00a0 Go back to your homes.\u00a0 Bath yourselves and clean your hair.\u00a0 Put on the make-up and the push up bra and you will find the ugly men, I promise you.\u00a0 And do not vote for the Hillary again.\u00a0 She is very bad and her husband is a very creepy man.\u00a0 He stared at me at the swearing in and he was very scary.\u00a0 Now go away.\u00a0 You are too close to the Trump Tower and may scare Barron.\u00a0 He is frightened of the ugly women.\u00a0 He is not used to them.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
(Scene 3 \u2013 White House West Wing)<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 Schmoopy, I\u2019m home.<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 Schmoopy!\u00a0 The President of NOW has given up lesbianism and married Sylvester Stallone and Rosie O\u2019Donnell has entered rehab.\u00a0 My poll number with women has gone up 30 points.\u00a0 How did you do it?<\/p>\n
MT:\u00a0 I told them the true things that my mother told me when I was a beautiful little girl.\u00a0 She said Melania, for every ugly pot, there is an ugly lid.\u00a0 But not for you.\u00a0 You are beautiful and will marry the billionaire from America.<\/p>\n
PT:\u00a0 This really is the greatest country in the world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Scene 1 \u2013 White House West Wing) President Trump (PT):\u00a0 Schmoopy, schmoopy.\u00a0 Where are you? Melania Trump (MT):\u00a0 Right here schmoopy.\u00a0 I was just on-line<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[168,117,118,16],"class_list":["post-782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-humor","tag-melania","tag-nasty-women","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"\n