(Scene 1: Outside the White House Press Conference Room)<\/p>\n
President Trump (PT): – Hey Smith, how\u2019s it going today?<\/p>\n
Secret Service Agent Smith (AS): – Very well, Mr. President.<\/p>\n
PT: – What\u2019s next on the torture chamber assembly line?<\/p>\n
AS: – Sir, the reporters are assembled for their 3pm disembowelment.<\/p>\n
PT: – Hey Smith, that\u2019s actually funny. I thought you weren\u2019t allowed to have a sense of humor.<\/p>\n
AS: – If the room is empty sir, and we\u2019re at ease, I can be reasonably at ease.<\/p>\n
PT: – Good, this job is worse than TV sometimes. It\u2019s nice to be myself with an actual human being sometimes.<\/p>\n
AS: – Well, I consider myself almost human most of the times.<\/p>\n
PT: – Compared to those vampires in the press room, you\u2019re a regular saint.<\/p>\n
AS: – That\u2019s a pretty low bar to jump sir.<\/p>\n
PT: – True.<\/p>\n
AS: – Mr. President, can I ask you a question about these press conferences?<\/p>\n
PT: – I guess. What do you want to know.<\/p>\n
AS: – Well, if I had to talk with those batshit vermin I\u2019d probably pitch a few of them out a window. How do you keep from walking out on that pack of imbeciles?<\/p>\n
PT: – Smith, let me guess. You\u2019re retired military?<\/p>\n
AS: – Marines, Iraq, three tours.<\/p>\n
PT: – So you know what your enemy looks like and you know how to engage him.<\/p>\n
AS: – Yes sir.<\/p>\n
PT: – Well, those reporters are my enemy and this how I engage. In fact, it\u2019s sort of like when you guys rolled through Baghdad, not even a close match. And to be totally honest I enjoy pummeling these losers almost as much as I enjoyed kicking Hillary\u2019s ass in the election.<\/p>\n
AS: – Well, I guess there are all kinds of different skills out there. But yours is certainly strange to me.<\/p>\n
PT: – I dunno. I think we\u2019re both trying to get a job done. This country is under attack on all sides. You guys in the military have a pretty clear cut job. But terrorists aren\u2019t the only enemy. The progressives are trying to dismantle our way of life. And if a big city boy like me sees it then it\u2019s not something at the fringe. I\u2019ve seen stuff like this becoming more and more of an impediment to business, culture and even personal life. The republicans aren\u2019t up to stopping it. Hell, some of them are part of it. So what you need is someone willing to take the fight to them. And if I do say so myself, I really know how to cut these dimwits off at the knees. And, God help me, I really do enjoy it.<\/p>\n
AS: – Well, fair enough. If that\u2019s your bread and butter, then more power to you. But tell me one other thing. Why hasn\u2019t anybody else been able to do this before you?<\/p>\n
PT: – Because, they\u2019re amateurs. These guys couldn\u2019t sell a life preserver to a drowning man. They think the good guys win automatically. I\u2019m hoping to start teaching some of the better ones how to get things done. But for now I\u2019ll be running this circus. My next trick is gonna be building a public voice to force the democrat senators up for re-election in 2018 to support the platform the people want.<\/p>\n
AS: – Sounds like you\u2019ve got things well in hand.<\/p>\n
PT: – Oh, hell no. This thing is a flying circus and every five minutes it starts spinning out of control again. But I don\u2019t know any other way to get these things done.<\/p>\n
AS: – Well, good luck today Mr. President. I hope you have a successful campaign.<\/p>\n
PT: – Thanks Smith.<\/p>\n
(Scene 2 \u2013 Later inside the Conference Room, President Trump is at the podium)<\/p>\n
PT: – Alright, I think there\u2019s time for one more question.<\/p>\n
Reporter (RPT): – Mr. President, I\u2019m Rash Partisan for CNN. My question is, since it\u2019s going to take you two years to build your wall how will you prevent the \u201cbad hombres\u201d from doing whatever the hell they want until then?<\/p>\n
PT: – Short term, I\u2019d say about a dozen attack copters will handle any really major force of narcotraficantes or other bad actors we have to deal with.<\/p>\n
RPT: – That\u2019s not legal, that\u2019s a war crime.<\/p>\n
PT: – Yeah, sure. Do me a favor. Here\u2019s a quarter, call someone who cares. Alright, that concludes our press conference. Now get the hell out of here. We\u2019ve got work to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Scene 1: Outside the White House Press Conference Room) President Trump (PT): – Hey Smith, how\u2019s it going today? Secret Service Agent Smith (AS): –<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[26,130,129,16],"class_list":["post-817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-trump","tag-american-exceptionalism","tag-press-conference","tag-the-press","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"\n