{"id":829,"date":"2017-03-03T07:20:48","date_gmt":"2017-03-03T12:20:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=829"},"modified":"2017-07-30T09:39:47","modified_gmt":"2017-07-30T13:39:47","slug":"trump-vs-the-deep-state","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/03\/03\/trump-vs-the-deep-state\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs The Deep State"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Announcer\u2019s Voice (surprising Don Pardo-esque!) \u2013 We interrupt this regularly scheduled and highly uninteresting programming to bring an important message from the President of the United States.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">(President Trump) \u2013 Good evening, my fellow Americans, I hate to break in on your viewing of \u201cFresh Off the Boat\u201d or whatever other crapfest you were watching, but I need you to wake up for thirty seconds, put down the Doritos and listen carefully.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">For the last few months, ever since I kicked Hillary\u2019s ass in the election, Obama and his stooges in the FBI, CIA and NSA have been cooking up a sting operation against my nominees to stop all the things I\u2019m doing to drain the swamp.\u00a0 You see, they are the swamp and they don\u2019t want to be drained.\u00a0 Unfortunately some of the appointees allowed themselves to be tricked into trying to hide the contacts that the sting operation was using as bait.\u00a0 Well that doesn\u2019t reflect well on their own intelligence and honesty.\u00a0 But they\u2019re also the best we\u2019ve got so I can\u2019t allow this nonsense to go on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">That is why I\u2019ve come up with a two prong solution to this problem.\u00a0 First I\u2019m providing a blanket pardon to all these nabobs who took the Obama bait.\u00a0 They don\u2019t deserve it but it\u2019s the only way to put an end to this nonsense.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Second, I\u2019m announcing a bounty for anyone who has evidence that I can use against this little cabal that Obama and Clinton have cooked up.\u00a0 I\u2019m calling it Dollars for Democrats.\u00a0 If you have evidence that will allow me to prosecute any of these losers, I\u2019ll give you cash, lots of cash.\u00a0 You name the price.\u00a0 A million dollars, a hundred million dollars, let\u2019s talk.\u00a0 I\u2019ll also throw in a pardon and even secret service protection if it\u2019s on Bill and Hillary (they\u2019re known to get vicious, I\u2019ve heard).\u00a0 And don\u2019t forget, if you\u2019ve got something showing who is leaking this stuff to the Times and Post I\u2019ll get you a Presidential Medal of Valour (if there is such a thing) and probably put your face on a postage stamp.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Okay, that\u2019s it.\u00a0 Go back to the bong now but try to remember and think about it if you still can.\u00a0 Trump out!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Announcer\u2019s Voice (surprising Don Pardo-esque!) \u2013 We interrupt this regularly scheduled and highly uninteresting programming to bring an important message from the President of the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[26,88,135,136,168,16],"class_list":["post-829","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-american-exceptionalism","tag-cabinet-picks","tag-deep-state","tag-dollars-for-democrats","tag-humor","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.4 - 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