{"id":8480,"date":"2019-09-24T22:20:32","date_gmt":"2019-09-25T02:20:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=8480"},"modified":"2019-09-25T12:45:54","modified_gmt":"2019-09-25T16:45:54","slug":"climate-catastrophe-and-firefly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/24\/climate-catastrophe-and-firefly\/","title":{"rendered":"Climate Catastrophe and Firefly"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today I watched that clip of teenage Swedish drama queen Greta Thunberg harnessing some kind of climate panic attack to call us out on the evil we\u2019re doing to the planet. \u00a0Now considering that she rode a jet to get to the UN climate conference it\u2019s a little thick having to listen to her harangue us because we heat our houses and drive to work to be able to feed our children.\u00a0 But she is a sixteen-year-old girl and they tend to be pretty crazy at that age.\u00a0 Anyway, I\u2019m watching the rant and it seems like I recognize her from somewhere.\u00a0 And then it hits me, Greta Thunberg<\/a> is actually River Tam<\/a> from Firefly!\u00a0 And now it all makes perfect sense.\u00a0 If you were a fan of the show you know that River was the victim of clandestine brain surgery by the Alliance, in the quest to turn her into a four foot eleven, eighty-seven-pound, mind reading, super soldier.\u00a0 Of course, she\u2019s crazy.\u00a0 That kind of diabolical amygdala scraping will leave the victim incapable of distinguishing climate hoax form reality.<\/p>\n

At this point all the craziness started making sense.\u00a0 In the Firefly universe Earth\u2019s ecosystem collapsed.\u00a0 River has been recaptured by the Alliance and reprogrammed to parrot the climate change speeches her tormentors have fed her poor battered mind.\u00a0 The fiends!\u00a0 No matter, I could detect that even while she spoke a vein throbbing over her eye was actually spelling out a message in Morse code.\u00a0 It spelled out the message, \u201cIt\u2019s not anthropogenic global warming, it\u2019s really only solar output fluctuation.\u201d\u00a0 She misspelled anthropogenic and she also added, \u201cJayne\u2019s a girl\u2019s name.\u201d But that was just reflex.\u00a0 So brave, so brave.<\/p>\n

So, there you have it.\u00a0 Her handlers (or parents if you don\u2019t mind the charade) trot her out to enflame the demented climate mob.\u00a0 But how can she be rescued from this awful enslavement.\u00a0 Can Simon Tam call on the Resistance (not that Resistance) to smuggle him into the Alliance prison and once again break her out?\u00a0 Or can Mal, Zoe and Jayne use their skills as Space Pirates to swoop down and scoop her up in the cargo hold of Serenity?<\/p>\n

But what then?\u00a0 How can the diabolical brainwashing be cured?\u00a0 She must be close to total insanity.\u00a0 I mean she believes the world will end in ten years.\u00a0 So sad, so sad.<\/p>\n

But then a pop-up ad for hair restoration services opened up and I got distracted so I don\u2019t have the answers I need to solve this conundrum.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have to re-watch my blue ray copies of Firefly and Serenity to try to figure out the best path forward.\u00a0 I only pray we\u2019re not too late to save her.<\/p>\n

Of course, she was the most annoying character on the show and I agreed with Jayne that she should be handed back to the Alliance.\u00a0 Hmmm.<\/p>\n

Anyway, that film clip was hands down the dopiest emotional display of unalloyed teenage stupidity to come down the pike since that imbecilic kid David Hogg road his bicycle to the Parkland shooting.\u00a0 She really deserves to be mocked for the ridiculous hyperbole she spouts.\u00a0 At the very least her parents should be brought up on child abuse charges for allowing her to be used as a trained seal by the climate scammers.<\/p>\n

Finally, Whedon is a tool for killing off Wash.\u00a0 That was totally wrong.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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