{"id":988,"date":"2017-04-17T11:16:32","date_gmt":"2017-04-17T15:16:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=988"},"modified":"2017-07-30T09:35:31","modified_gmt":"2017-07-30T13:35:31","slug":"morning-shmoe-2-trump-hates-bannon-just-saying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/04\/17\/morning-shmoe-2-trump-hates-bannon-just-saying\/","title":{"rendered":"Morning Shmoe 2 \u2013 Trump Hates Bannon!!!\u00a0 Just Saying."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Chris Buskirk over at American Greatness is fast becoming one of my favorite reads.\u00a0 He had a great article ( <a href=\"https:\/\/amgreatness.com\/2017\/04\/15\/foolish-choose-morning-joe-crowd-bannon-voters\/\">https:\/\/amgreatness.com\/2017\/04\/15\/foolish-choose-morning-joe-crowd-bannon-voters\/<\/a> ) that has once again inspired me to revisit our friends at <a href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/04\/12\/morning-shmoe\/\">Morning Shmoe<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Scene: Studio Set at Morning Shmoe<\/p>\n<p>Shmoe Browfurrowed (AKA Morning Shmoe) (MS) \u2013 It\u2019s three and a half minutes before the quarter hour and we\u2019re back.\u00a0 Lycra have you heard the latest evidence about how Trump has already eliminated Steve Bannon and is about to replace him with Barney Frank.<\/p>\n<p>Lycra Spandexy (LS) \u2013 No Shmoe, tell me all about it.<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Well it\u2019s obvious to anyone paying attention.\u00a0 Trump is wearing ties.\u00a0 And as you all know Bannon doesn\u2019t wear a tie.\u00a0 You do the math!<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 That\u2019s so true!\u00a0 Well now that Barney Frank is the virtual president what wonderful changes do you forsee?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 As first order of business, Melania will be eliminated as First Lady, either by divorce or deportation and Caitlyn Jenner installed in that position.\u00a0 Next Ivanka will begin the slow, deliberate process of becoming Ivanko.\u00a0 After that Trump will begin his transition which will culminate in him grabbing herself.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 It just writes itself, doesn\u2019t it Shmoe?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Yeah, sort of.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Shmoe, what do you think caused the original loss of trust between Trump and Bannon.<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Well Lycra, we may never truly know but we can speculate.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Can we?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Oh, not only can we but we will.\u00a0 We\u2019ve still got several hundred words to add before this post is full.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Post?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Nothing, nothing.\u00a0 Anyway, if you remember during the election it was rumored that Donald Trump had become a werewolf or possibly a loup garou.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Yes, that was definitely a theory that swirled around the press corp.<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Well, I recently heard from someone (or possibly from a voice inside my head) that Bannon had become a vampire or some other type of undead.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Well, that would explain a lot of things.<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Yes it would Lycra, yes it would.\u00a0 After all, if Underworld has taught us anything it\u2019s that lycanthropes and vampires are always enemies.\u00a0 Also, we haven\u2019t seen Bannon during the day recently.\u00a0 And he is obviously suffering from a skin condition brought on by his vampiric aversion to sunlight.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Of course, why didn\u2019t I realize this before?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Because it\u2019s only obvious after a great mind points it out.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Oh Shmoe, you are wise.\u00a0 But where do we go from here.\u00a0 Now that progressives are firmly in charge of the US executive branch again what is the next order of business?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 There are so many Obama initiatives that are languishing and that need a few trillions of taxpayer dollars to really perk up.\u00a0 I would say that a new cabinet level department is the first order of business.\u00a0 The Department of Black Lives Matter is the unofficial name I heard mentioned (by a voice in my head) but the name is secondary.\u00a0 The important thing is eliminating this whole law enforcement and justice concept that has somehow infected our government for too long.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Shmoe, that\u2019s marvelous.\u00a0 And to think, the Trump administration hasn\u2019t even acknowledged Bannon\u2019s departure yet.\u00a0 What are they waiting for?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 I would guess it has to do with the cycles of the moon.\u00a0 Lycanthrope\/vampire interactions are far from an exact science.\u00a0 My guess is the announcement will occur at the new moon.\u00a0 That\u2019s April 26<sup>th<\/sup> to you normals.<\/p>\n<p>LS \u2013 Shmoe, isn\u2019t it great to be living in this best of all possible worlds?<\/p>\n<p>MS \u2013 Yes it is Lycra, Yes it is.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/04\/30\/the-last-1360-days-of-the-trump-presidency\/\">The Last 1360 Days of the Trump Presidency<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chris Buskirk over at American Greatness is fast becoming one of my favorite reads.\u00a0 He had a great article ( https:\/\/amgreatness.com\/2017\/04\/15\/foolish-choose-morning-joe-crowd-bannon-voters\/ ) that has once<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,4,6],"tags":[26,168,179,178,180,177,54,60],"class_list":["post-988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-sff","category-trump","tag-american-exceptionalism","tag-humor","tag-lycra-spandexy","tag-morning-shmoe","tag-shmoe-browfurrowed","tag-steve-bannon","tag-vampire","tag-werewolf"],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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