Reclaiming the Family – Part 5 – Reinvent the Matchmaker – First Thoughts

Two things are true about this particular item.  The first thing is I’m sure this is one of the most important aspects of trying to bring back family life.  The second thing I’m sure of is that I know almost nothing about how this would work.  I know almost nothing about women or dating or anything else having to do with human mating rituals.  I met Camera Girl by complete accident when we were both seventeen-year-old kids each separately skipping out on our separate schools and meeting at one of the most anonymous places in a city as large as New York.  It was at least a billion to one shot so no one should ever take relationship advice from me.

But I do know that kids these days and especially kids from whom their parents hope someday to receive grandchildren need a better way to find mates.  Sure, there are places like match.com and the like but this doesn’t seem to be getting the job done.  What is needed is some kind of sponsorship of social activities where the participants are vouched for by their families.  In other words, you want to keep the freaks out but still have a place for young people to meet.  Now this used to be taken care of by high schools and other teen age membership institutions.  But because college is the place where normalcy goes to die and because women now postpone marriage and childbearing until their mid-thirties, we’re in the place we’re in.  So, to my mind a new arrangement has to be formulated.  And the only ones who have the talent, the inclination and the opportunity are the mothers.  This brings to mind the scenes in Fiddler on the Roof where Tevye’s wife is trying to arrange a marriage for her oldest daughter through the village matchmaker and picks a terrible husband that luckily is sidetracked by a subterfuge by Tevye.  And of course, living in these liberated times no one is going to allow his parents to pick a wife for him and vice versa but setting up opportunities for young people to meet likely partners makes perfect sense.  I will have to consult with my daughters to see if this is an at all reasonable idea.  They both have children who one day (and in some cases soon) will be marriageable.  I am interested to know if they’ve thought of helping along the process by some discrete manipulations.

But one thing that would increase the chances for more women to find husbands is for them to look outside of the college pool.  A young woman right out of high school could do much worse than finding a young man in one of the trades, an electrician or a welder and setting up a home instead of wasting four or more of her most valuable years sitting around a college quadrangle watching the soy boys playing frisbee.

I really have to do more practical research on this and this is just an introductory post.  I am especially interested in getting the mother’s point of view on the practicality of trying to influence the courtship decisions of today’s youth.  But I’m convinced that this topic is of extreme importance in trying to somehow revive the traditional family from inside the modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah that we find ourselves trapped in.  Stay tuned for more on this.

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War Pig
War Pig
9 months ago

Gypsy bride fairs.

Jason
Jason
9 months ago

How about church youth group activities? I know that with recent stories of “priestly indiscretion” this might not sound like as good an idea as I think it is, but in general, I think it’s a fairly sound strategy. In many cases, if you’re going to church and taking the kids with you, you already know the youth pastor and other leaders. The mega-church trend makes this a little more difficult, but in the vast majority of America this is not an issue. Anyway, you’ve essentially “vetted” the people leading the youth events to some degree. You are somewhat protected… Read more »

Tyler, the Portly Politico

Dating is a real wasteland, photog, as you correctly intuit. My very sweet (now ex-)girlfriend of about a year broke it off with me a couple of weeks ago—a hard blow, but necessary, and there are no hard feelings—but I was reluctant for things to end because of how awful the dating marketplace has become. Women make a virtue out of being crass, and it kills me how many women flount their “fluency” in “sarcasm” as a positive trait. I’m thirty-five, so I can’t be overly picky, but is it so much to ask to find a good Christian girl… Read more »

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

Yes. One reason my recent girlfriend broke up with me is because she had finished her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and was in her post-doc, on the cusp of making some big decisions about her career (talk about a unicorn: she was very conservative for someone in a highly politicized field; same as my sister-in-law, who is also an ultra-rare conservative psychologist, which means my brother and I found the two in existence). She’d devoted a decade of her life to get to the _start_ of her career. It was also because she had undergone a profound reversion experience during… Read more »

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

Yep, I think excessive schooling/indoctrination has a great deal to do with it. There’s a lot of messaging in school and in the culture at large that a woman will find true fulfillment in the workforce. As Gavin McInnes puts it (to paraphrase), we’ve tricked woman into wasting her youth keeping a strange man’s schedule and raising cats, instead of keeping her husband’s household and raising kids.

That said, I am (all evidence to the contrary) cautiously optimistic. Just gotta drop some pounds and get back out there.

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

Good point. I should try wallowing in despair less. And I will definitely share my dating adventures with you, photog.

Jason
Jason
9 months ago

Holy Crap! You guys make me realize just how lucky I am, and love my wife that much more. She’s basically the antithesis of all that you’re saying. She was only fairly “career-minded,” (she has taught elementary and middle school for many years) but at the same time, she wanted to be FINISHED having kids at 30! Not starting at that point… FINISHED at that point. Incidentally, we missed it, as our 3rd and final child was born when she was 31, but that’s beside the point. She did take a 12- or 13-year break from teaching to raise and… Read more »

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  Jason

Thanks for giving me hope, Jason. I would love to meet a woman who is willing to pop out a brood of three or four by her early 30s. I’m still at that age where I can date women in their 20s, it’s just a tougher swing (and they tend to be raging socialists at that age). But I’m a realist, too. Yeah, my younger brother was like you and photog: married the first woman he ever dated! Granted, they dated for eight years (he was fifteen when they first went out). He says he’s just efficient, haha. They have… Read more »

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

Hahaha, where did you write that she is a “mutinous wench”? Great phrase; I’m sure it’s not true.

Proverbs 31—a virtuous woman is more precious than rubies.

At this point, I’ll be a grandfather when I’m 90, languishing in a gulag in rural Kansas due to my Facebook chip reporting wrongthink to Supreme Chancellor Zuckerberg.

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

Haha, gotcha.

And, yes, if Z Man gets his way (I like that you call him Sauron, by the way), we may very well be. I imagine we’ll be much lighter task masters than our progressive counterparts.

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

Ooooh, yes—“Saruman.” My mistake. I just know that the LotR reference always makes me chuckle, and it’s apt for the reasons you stated: he’s often spot-on with his diagnosis, but his prescription is dangerously strong. There’s a seductive reasonableness to his podcast and writings, which he acknowledges (I really like his idea of winning people over to unorthodox ideas by NOT being a crazy loon, which is sometimes a difficult circle to square). I’m with you: I don’t want to surrender to the Left, either, and I think voting CAN be effective, contra Z Man and Derb. RE: this discussion… Read more »

Tyler, the Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

I’ve gotta pick that up. Sounds a bit like Roger Kimball’s _The Long March_, which I highly recommend (https://www.amazon.com/Long-March-Cultural-Revolution-Changed/dp/1893554309/). Your blood will boil reading about Leftist ideology and infiltration. I think you’re right, too, re: turning our children into nihilists. All Leftism has to offer is hopelessness and death. No wonder so many of them are so bitter.

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[…] other blogger buddy, photog, wrote a piece earlier in the week about the need to bring back matchmakers as a way to help get traditional men and women together.  His idea is an interesting one, and the […]