Month: January 2026

But With a Whimper

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All week we’ve been living in existential dread of an empty oil tank.  Right before the snowstorm on Sunday and Monday we got an email from our oil company saying they would be delivering a shipment on Tuesday.  Looking at the tank gauge I could see we had less than a quarter tank.  And for the last few weeks the temperature had been well below normal and the forecasts said this week would be skirting with sub-zero temperatures almost every night.  Well, no problem.  I planned to spend all of Monday clearing the top driveway and there wasn’t any snow due again for days so all would be well.

Of course, when I woke up Tuesday morning another inch or two of snow had fallen and since I was headed off to work, I got up early and shoveled it down to the pavement.  Of course, I was grumbling the whole time about the usual crummy weather forecasting in the area but what can you do.  When I got home that afternoon the fuel truck had still not arrived but they often came later.  At about four, a truck showed up.  But instead of backing down the driveway he parked in the street in front of the curb cut and after five or ten minutes he left.

So, Camera Girl called up the oil company and reported this oddity.  After speaking to several flunkies who knew nothing, she spoke to a flunky who claimed to know something.  The knowledgeable flunky said (repeatedly) that the driver noted that there were snow and ice on the driveway and due to fear of the truck sliding and even rolling over he declined to come down the driveway.

Now this was pure nonsense.  Every driver in their fleet had come down this driveway many times when there was more residual snow and ice than what was there that afternoon.  The only thing I could think of was that the driver was a temporary hire unfamiliar with the route and didn’t want to back up the long narrow driveway.  Camera Girl complained to the flunky and assured her that the driveway was clear of ice.  The flunky said that the photos from the driver would be evaluated the next day and things would be resolved.

Seeing that she was dealing with idiots she resolved to be proactive.  She told them to send a truck the next day and the driveway would certainly be passable.  I treated the driveway with 200 pounds of sand and convinced myself that no one could claim the driveway was impassable.  But I hadn’t reckoned with the fecklessness of my oil company.  When no one showed up by 3pm she called them up and was told that since they hadn’t heard from us, they hadn’t sent a truck.  She argued that the day before we told them to send a truck.  They claimed they had sent a text message asking us if we wanted a delivery.  She informed them that we don’t have a cell phone so no text message was possible.  They stuck by their story.  She once more asked them if we would be getting a shipment the next day (Thursday).  They assured her they would.  But by 3pm on Thursday when there was no truck, I knew what she would hear.  The same story.  Once again, they claimed to have left a text message.  It was maddening.

So yesterday I stepped back and thought what kind of operation I was dealing with.  Apparently, they only hired idiots that couldn’t be held accountable for their poor performance.  They thought they were leaving me messages.  Now the tank was down around an eighth of the tank and I was worried that in the cold weather the small outlet line might not provide enough suction pressure for the fuel pump.  I was worried we really wouldn’t have fuel after Friday.  I reckoned if they failed me again, I’d go out and buy ten gallons of diesel oil and pour it in the tank just to keep things going.

But I resolved to call them at 6:30 am and tell them to make a delivery today.  And by golly it worked.  They must have thought I was answering the imaginary text message and they sent a truck that got here at 10 am.  As I imagined the driver was a newbie.  He was a young middle eastern man and he confessed he had a hard time finding me because he put the wrong address in his GPS.  I was so relieved that I just smiled and showed him where the tank inlet line was.  Well, civilization will die not with a bang but with a whimper.  Incompetence is the rule now not the exception.  But tonight, the temperature is supposed to reach ten below zero.  I am comforted that Abdul filled the tank.  Oh well.  Grateful for small favors.

The Sniper Marketing Campaign is Live!

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Keywords have been added, categories have been refined and Amazon Ads are garnering thousands of impressions and dozens of clicks. Even a few sales have been registered! Now it’s time for anyone who has bought a book to give their opinion on its entertainment value as a review on that mega-information portal; Amazon.com.

So for anyone who has bought the book please give it a great review as soon as possible to enhance the effect of the advertising.  Amazon only credits people who have bought the book into their review algorithm.

The link below will bring you to the Amazon sales page.  Near the end is the review section.  Clicking on this link will not cause you to buy the book, just bring you to the sales page.

Thank you.

The Honeymooners – Complete Series Review – Episode 07 – Better Living Through TV

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This is one of the episodes where Ralph comes up with a get rich quick scheme and drags Norton in with him.  In this case Ralph has found a deal where he can buy two thousand kitchen multi-purpose tools which can do anything from opening a can to coring “a” apple.  He can buy them for ten cents a piece and sell them for a dollar.  When Norton complains that selling two thousand tools would take forever Ralph reveals the rest of his master plan.  For a hundred dollars he and Norton can advertise the tool on television and sell all of the tools at once.

After battling Alice for his share of the needed money Ralph and Norton are ready to do their commercial.  They practice a script where Norton is the “Chef of the Past” and shows how it takes all of these separate kitchen tools to do his work and Ralph is the “Chef of the Future” who will demonstrate the handy-dandy all-in-one tool.  But before they can finish their practice the station manager tells them that their commercial has been moved up and they were going on next.

But unfortunately, Ralph develops paralyzing stage fright.  And between his bug eyes, his hopeless stammering and his complete inability to speak or successfully core “a” apple, the commercial is a complete failure.  The ending is Ralph tries to open a can and stabs himself in the hand and ends up knocking over the wall of the tv kitchen.

The whole thing sounds like a terrible mess but I think this is one of the best episodes in the whole series.  Alice, Ralph and Norton are at the top of their game and Norton’s hammy acting on the commercial and Ralph’s panic are the perfect combination for the complete collapse of Ralph’s get-rich-quick scheme.  And as Norton put it, “Another proof of a happier life through television.”

Where is the Good Stuff

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The crazies are coming out of the woodwork everywhere you look.  The Left has fired up the bat signal only it’s the bat-crap-crazy signal they’re flashing.  Honestly, we need a vacation from this.  We need something good to think about instead.  In normal times maybe we’d be excited to watch the Super Bowl.  But of course, these are not normal times.  I read somewhere that the half-time entertainment is someone calling him(?)self Bad Bunny.  And not knowing anything one way or another about said bunny I’d say, “Okay, why not?”  But then it said that in honor of all the “queers” he’s going to wear a dress.  So that’s the end of the Super Bowl.

I guess that means it’s up to me to figure out a way to cheer up normal America.  So I looked around and saw an article that said Sydney Sweeney was marketing a line of lingerie by wearing lingerie.  Well, that sounded hopeful but on further reflection I thought, “You know, she’s really better off doing the jeans commercials with her clothes on.”  Plus, Camera Girl will think I’ve become a dirty old man so that’s not so good.  So back to the drawing board.

So, I turned on the tv.  Holy cow.  All there was were police shows.  There were “COPS” style reality police shows and cold case shows and then there were tv series about make believe police.  Camera Girl watches a couple of these, one of which is Chicago PD.  But based on what I could see most of the Chicago police department is made up of women with a few men thrown in for the sake of romance with the few non-lesbian members of the force.  After watching a few minutes of this hyper-realistic police drama, I started mocking Camera Girl for watching this show.  I said, “Doesn’t it seem odd that five foot nothing women are arresting six foot something men who weigh three times what they do?  And how do they manage to keep their hair, make-up and fingernails looking so good during that knock down brawl on the mean streets of Chicago?”  Her only rebuttal was a really nasty scowl.  So, then tv wasn’t the answer.  At least not what’s on today.

Maybe that’s the clue.  We’re currently living in a happiness desert.  TV, the movies and books are in awful shape.  The only way to find amusement is to carefully curate (what a pretentious word!) your sources of entertainment.  Luckily for me, that’s always been something I did.  Currently in my movie rotation are a few very unusual films.  I have a 1958 movie called the “The High Cost of Loving” that starred and was directed by Jose Ferrer.  It’s about a fellow in middle management at an American company that is simultaneously dealing with his wife having a baby, the company being bought by a larger company and several signs that he’s about to be fired.  Small roles for Jim Backus, Edward Platt and Richard Deacon give the whole production a very familiar, late fifties, early sixties tv feel.  Watching Ferrer play a very decent man panicking over his comfortable life falling apart is excellent stuff.  And to round out my happiness quest I added two other movies I felt like watching; “A Man for All Seasons” and “This Happy Breed.”  These two are both based on English plays and despite the amount of disaster that both stories delve into, both leave me feeling very optimistic about the world.  Apparently, the movies don’t have to be upbeat or comedic to make me happy.  They need to be about people I can admire or at least relate to.

And sure enough, after partaking of these movies over the last few days I’ve forced myself into a good mood.  This despite the massive quantities of snow removal I’ve been subjected to.  So that’s the answer.  Find a vision of the world where good people do good things and you feel better.