Month: April 2026

A Quaint Dunwich Custom

photog Current Events, Life in Dunwich, photog's Corner , ,

In Dunwich the end of April is both an important time of the year agriculturally but also a time of great stress.  It is at this time that the great skunk cabbage harvest occurs.  Dunwich keeps ten thousand acres in skunk cabbage cultivation.  And depending on the phase of the moon sometime between the middle of April and the middle of May all of it must be harvested and processed for First Selectman Cthulhu’s Vernal Feast.  All of the cabbage is sent through an homogenizer and then mixed 1:1 with liquified cow manure and then pumped through a high-pressure hose directly into the First Selectman’s maw.  At one hundred gallons a minute this takes about six hours to transfer.

After that there is an eight-hour fermentation stage within the First Selectman’s alimentary canal after which this process produces a gaseous effluvium that exits at a very high flow rate at about a thousand standard cubic feet a second under considerable pressure.  Now this gas not only smells disgusting but it is as poisonous as phosgene so it must be mixed with air and immediately sent through a combustion nozzle.  The outlet gas still smells unbelievably bad but it is thus rendered non-lethal.

The combustion goes on for ten hours during which time the First Selectman likes to read an improving book or watch classic movies as entertainment.  It takes a crew of two hundred of the stoutest Dunwich men to complete the full process.  And it is an exhausting and psychologically scarring ordeal to say the least.  During this time most of the inhabitants of Dunwich vacate the town for about a week until the odor abates to a significant degree.

Over the years there have been attempts at Board of Selectmen Meetings to change the town bylaws to eliminate the “feast.”  Usually, the first Selectman eats whoever adds the motion to the agenda and the motion fails unanimously.  Usually this is some newcomer to town who doesn’t understand the nuance of having a Great Old One as a town official.

But there are some “advantages” to this process.  Rodents flee the town for at least two months after the ceremony and flies are so confused by the smell that they forget to eat and just weaken and die.  So, things are pretty vermin-free around town until autumn.  So, we’ve got that going for us.

There was a funny incident last year when a state environmental officer showed up and demanded that the skunk cabbage harvest be stopped because it was a native plant that was protected against commercial harvest.  He barged into the First Selectman’s office and threatened him with arrest.  Cthulhu seemed impressed with the officer’s courage and asked if he’d like to see the skunk cabbage field.  They walked over to the farm and then he planted the officer head first into the ground and applied a couple of gentle pats of his right hand to firmly smooth out his resting place.  And that was that.  Have a happy skunk cabbage feast everybody!

 

Farmer Cthulhu in His Fields

Industrial Strength Crazy

photog Current Events, Trump , ,

So, another leftist tried to shoot Trump.  Well, we can stop making believe that the Democrats aren’t murderous sociopaths.  Of course, they all make the same perfunctory “Political violence is totally unacceptable” statement in front of the cameras but what they mean is, “Better luck next time.”

Well, things are going to get uglier from here on in.  So, this clarifies what the whole “No Kings” thing is about.  You see Caesar was assassinated because he was toying with the idea of wearing a crown and the Romans had fought a war against the Etruscans to put an end to the monarchy.  So, Trump is Caesar and that makes it logical that an assassin will step forward to “free” this country from its dictator.

To my mind this confirms the theory that the Left has weaponized their radical fringe.  In addition to the three Trump shooters there is recently the Charlie Kirk assassin and the various transgender school shooters that have plagued us in the last few years.  This will be a very dangerous time for people on the Right and strategies to deal with this environment should be planned.

I think one of the better actions would be to continue eliminating as much federal money from reaching NGOs and other avenues that allow abnormal people to exist at the fringes of society.  Also, the crackdown on Antifa and Antifa-adjacent organizations is absolutely essential.  These organizations are where the most dangerous ideologues are concentrated and provided with support and direction for their malice.

I think the Justice Department should publicize the fact that left-wing radicals are the most dangerous criminals currently operating in the United States and that a concentrated effort will be made to identify the leaders of this movement and hunt down the foot soldiers that have been radicalized based on their social media statements.  That will rile them up and should be a good way to get a few of them to pop their heads up out of the sand.

But as I said, cutting off their funding is key.  This latest psycho was from California.  And California is hemorrhaging money at a phenomenal rate.  The Silicon Valley tech bros are scattering to Texas and Tennessee as fast as they can and the next governor may turn out to be a Republican just because the budget has become unworkable and they need a villain to take the blame when the state union pension plans have to be raided.  So, if the federal funds are effectively shut off the crazies will have no one to pay for their cross-gender hormones and intersectional studies tuition payments.

But there may not be a cure for what’s going on.  The Left has a lot of lunatics and if they try very hard, they will kill some of their enemies.  The question seems to be will American voters punish the Left for allowing its crazies to become assassins.  That is the real question that will be answered in the mid-terms.  If I were Trump, I’d play this thing out in the public square and tar the whole Democrat party with the psycho label.