Feedback Arrives

Someone who saw my promotion posts on X left a comment showing interest in reading the book so I asked him to share his thoughts on the story if he got a copy.  So far, he’s read the first three chapters and I find his candid thoughts very interesting.

“Hi! I am currently in the middle of chapter 3. Feel free to take my opinions with a grain of salt, by the way.

The first two scenes were excellent. I felt completely drawn into the action, and it was easy to visualize. This is Jeffrey Haskell level of quality, which is a high bar.

Once they get on the plane, however, it feels like an information dump, and the dialog becomes stilted. There are a couple of reasons for this. None of the revelations about Connor have been foreshadowed, so they feel as if they were drawn out of thin air. You don’t have to foreshadow everything, but it helps if you foreshadow something so that the reader feels connected to the exposition.

More important, there is very little feeling behind the information dump. Connor considers himself in debt to Bogey, but the rescue was incidental to Bogey’s job. There was nothing personal about it. As a result, it doesn’t seem worth a potentially $10 million gift.

The third chapter has a more serious problem. We are learning a lot about Connor’s business, but we have no idea why. To pull a reader in, you need to have some idea of what the reader is hoping to see and give a sense we are moving in that direction. Reading chapter 3, all I feel is I want the action to begin again. There is no compelling reason for me to pay attention to Connor’s business plan, since I have no idea how it fits into the story.

In any case, I thought I should give you my impressions while they are still fresh in my mind. I am hoping the action starts again soon, as you are very good at that.”

So, what I’m hearing is that the information dumps are an impediment to enjoying the story as an action story.  What I’m taking away is that stories in the various action genres have a short window between the kinetic parts of the story.  Now that is interesting because it means the author has to balance providing background information with keeping the reader’s interest.  For me that’s tricky.  With a science fiction story bringing the audience into the technical details of the “world” are sort of important.  But the reviewer has made his point.  If I put him to sleep or even lose his interest in the world-building then he’s not going to finish the book.  Now I did start the book with two scenes he really liked but both of those scenes are remote in time from the “present” action (one is years before and one is a year or so after the triggering event of the main plot).  So, in a way I paying for some of my sins against continuity.

Well, now I’m really interested in his ideas about Chapter 4.  It’s got action but it’s of a singularly depressing type.

Outlining in Progress

So, in line with my book writing chores I was outlining the beginning of the story.  And because of the well-known story-writing dictum that the first scene should be a rip-snorting action extravaganza, I pondered how to do this.  So, I thought to myself, “Self, what better way to start the story than with a massive drone attack on Connors and his inner circle!?”  And I answered me saying, “Internal monologue alter ego, that’s a damn fine idea!”  So that’s the direction I’ve decided on.

But a problem occurred to both of us; namely, I really don’t know much about drone attacks or repelling them.  Well, that can be a problem.  But in this age of LLM’s hanging around every corner I thought, “Well, let’s do some research.”  And voila! not only am I an incredible fiction writer but I’m also now one of the world’s leading authorities on drones and defense against drone attacks.  Crisis averted!

So now visions of solid-state high-power microwave (HPM), autonomous interceptor swarms, cheap directed-energy lasers and AI directed mini-guns and missiles are dancing in my head like toys at a kid’s Christmas.  Poor Connors, with Bogey on vacation on the Left Coast how is he supposed to rest easy while his security is in the hands of lesser men?  Sure, Cutter and Mel are certainly taking the technical lead in fortifying headquarters against any rogue agents of the intelligence agencies but as became apparent in the first book practical military experience is sorely lacking at Typhon Industries.  Well, what a perfect time for a sneak attack.

So now I’m gleefully outlining the fallout from the attack including Bogey’s return to active duty with his friend Becky (former waitress, now main squeeze) in tow.  So, this will allow me to push the political story forward.  If the CIA, etc. are running rogue operations, Connors will have no choice but to begin affecting the political dynamic to advantage himself and weaken elements of the US deep state.

So, I’m going to give myself a B- so far on my first two days of outlining and since this passes (sort of), as an outlining activity I won’t penalize myself for stealing a little time for this post.  I still haven’t worked out anything about Grace and her kids.  I may have to consult with Camera Girl on that angle.  After all, with killer drones targeting Connors, Bogey might step in and forbid his family from going within several miles of that marked man.  It kind of makes sense.

As far as sf tropes and gizmos I haven’t decided what whizz bang stuff will be rolled out in this story.  I feel I have to because that stuff is so much fun it would be disappointing if I didn’t.  At the very least there is going to be lots of artificial intelligence involved because Mel’s status as an (apparently) self-aware machine needs to be explained and explored.  After all she’s Camera Girl’s favorite character and she is kind of engaging for the writer too.  Well, that’s enough for now.

Comments:

WarPig

“Please go to YouTube, search for “Slaughterbots”. Choose the DUST version with length of 7:59 That’ll give you an opening scenario.

This scared me back in 2010. The video was released in 2017. Events in Ukraine have proven it to be coming very soon. Those of us in the know have been warning the powers that be since 2010. The US can already use “Ginsu” missiles with blades instead of explosives to target and kill an individual and knows which seat in a blacked-out SUV to hit.

Darpa has been working on this “I imagine”, for over two decades, Musk’s new solid state batteries, better than lithium, has the potential to give the little ones the range and on-station time to do this. Ukraine isn’t exactly MIT or Cal Poly, yet they are halfway there already, with what “I imagine” is US help.

Slaughterbots would have to be countered by swarms of “hunter-seekers” with the ability to tell friendly minidrone from enemy. Also we’d need new and advanced surveillance technologies to find evil bots as soon as they are launched. Remember, these things in the video enter buildings and can fly along streets at a few feet of altitude. Almost impossible to trace since they are not guided from an external controller by radio waves. No bot emmissions. No way to block their controllers as there are no controllers. They are kamikaze. One set of instructions, then let them fly, do or die.

Scary.”

photog

You’re right.  That’s pretty damn scary.

 

Runner (2026) – A Movie Review

Today I was diligent and did my sequel work from 8:30am to 11am so life is good and I have an easy assignment for a post today.  Camera Girl and I went out to the movies yesterday.  Of course, because we’re ancient we went to the 10:45 am showing and the theater on a Tuesday morning was virtually empty.  We went to see “Runner” with Alan Ritchson and Owen Wilson.  Ritchson is the actor who plays Reacher in the Amazon series.  The plot has Ritchson as a courier who handles “special” deliveries.  He is supposed to deliver Owen Wilson and a transplant liver to a hospital where a little girl is on death’s door.  But there is also a drug cartel boss who wants the liver for his mother.  So, we get two hours of chase scenes, shootouts and fights culminating at the hospital where the little girl is waiting.  And it wouldn’t qualify as a spoiler if I tell you how it all ends.  But I won’t.

It was made by Angel Studios and I won’t say that it is a much lower quality than a big studio production but there’s a kind of “over the top” aspect to some of the scenes.  I would say generically, it’s an action/chase movie where the action is dialed up to eleven and stays there.  The fight scenes and the chase scenes go on and on seemingly for the whole movie.  So, if you have a limited tolerance for these scenes this will strain your patience.  As far as the acting, Ritchson does a workmanlike job of his part which is quite similar to the Reacher character.  Owen Wilson plays his usual Owen Wilson persona.  Meaning he’s a quirky affable, loquacious man who drives Ritchson’s strong, silent character insane with his endless banter.  The bad guys are everything you would want for the cartoon villains and cars, trucks and anything available is crashed, burned or blown up as needed.

Alright, I’ve said enough.  This movie is a silly action/adventure/comedy/buddy movie.  Does it work?  Mostly.  Would I recommend it?  Well, I’d have to qualify if by saying if you like Owen Wilson and you like watching Alan Ritchson doing his incredible hulk imitation then yes, you’ll enjoy this.  If you’re a big fan of action movies you also might like it.  Otherwise maybe it might be too over the top for you.

The Great Shirking Has Begun!

So, the promotion is done.  And the results are very encouraging.  There’s been an uptick in all three types of orders; paperbacks, e-books and Kindle Unlimited pages.  In fact, today I’ve had all three types of sales and another two five-star ratings showed up so a very good way to end the promotion and the Based Book Sale.  Bravo!

But now the real work begins.  I’ve got to go forward with outlining and writing the next book.  And to do that correctly I have to (as my father used to say) “buckle down.”  I need to devote several hours every day to writing.  And those have to be early in the morning when my mind isn’t yet reduced to the soupy mush it will become by later in the day.  And so that means something’s gotta give.  And that something will have to be my daily posts.

Some days I’ll be a ball of fire.  I’ll bang out page after page of deathless prose, take care of the chores at the Compound, grovel and genuflect to First Selectman Cthulhu and still manage to write a post.  But not always.  Some days I’ll put a song up instead.  Or maybe nothing at all.  I’ll try to keep up with the photos and quotes.  That shouldn’t overwhelm me.  But trying to produce five hundred coherent words on a topic that might interest the folks on the site is going to be beyond my powers of concentration for the foreseeable future.  I’m putting this out there to let everybody know how it is.

For most of you this won’t be a great hardship.  My mental powers have greatly diminished over the decade and more that I’ve been producing this blog and it may actually be a relief to know the ordeal is over.  But for me it’s kind of sad.  I’ve tried to be as reliable as I could be to the task.  But at the same time, I’ve got a strong desire to make this next book something special so I need to concentrate on quality and I need to finish it sooner than later because the longer I wait the fewer people who read the first book will be anxious to buy the sequel.

So, there you go.  I’m announcing the official “Shirking of OCF.”  I am AWOL and no power in the ‘verse can stop me.  I will understand if everyone deletes the web address and heads for greener pastures but I just want to add it’s been great talking to all you folks over the years and feel free to stop by whenever you feel like just in case I manage to produce readable text on that particular day.

Hasta la vista baby!

That Has Such Movies In’t

What is called artificial intelligence or more specifically LLMs (Large Language Models) that can generate images and even video directly from text (Generative AI) is one of the most exciting technologies to emerge from the whole AI surge.  I have seen examples of video that looks as good as anything Hollywood creates with a mix of live action and CGI.  Which I guess isn’t surprising in one sense since this Generative AI, basically, is just another name for CGI.  But what is amazing to me is that what formerly was a technology that tech companies sold to movie studios for millions of dollars is now at the beck and call of anyone with access to ChatGPT.

And honestly, I can’t claim to know just how usable these AI videos are from a commercial point of view.  Could someone with a reasonable understanding of movie-making produce something that people would pay money to stream?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But what is fascinating is that I believe it’s already starting to happen.  Recently several movies have gotten into the theaters that weren’t produced by Hollywood.  Several YouTube “influencers” have parlayed their eight-figure viewing audiences into a multi-million-dollar box office payday by producing their own movies.  Now granted, these forays into independent cinema haven’t been particularly dependent on Generative AI.  Just the opposite.  The two most popular examples I can think of used almost nothing but “practical effects.”

But recently several completely AI generated movies have been exhibited at major film festivals and even streamed on Amazon.  Now none of these have made any appreciable money.  But that may be because the movies suck as stories.  After all, Disney has proven that you can spend hundreds of millions of dollars on a CGI masterpiece and still produce a story so stupid that no one wants to see it.  But the point is if you are at all tech savvy you can now make a short sci-fi movie that looks as good as Hollywood for between $500 to $5,000.  That is earth-shaking.

To me that means we are less than a couple of years until we will see tiny studios making movies that are good enough to see in a theater but have no gate-keepers whatsoever between the creators and the audience.  That is a startling thing.  Some young version of Stanley Kubrick will make his version of 2001: A Space Odyssey in his basement with the help of a “film crew” of less than a dozen people.  He’ll make a masterpiece for about $20,000 and it will make a billion dollars and an earthquake will swallow up Hollywood completely.  Think of it, all of the bloated, studio budgets and absurd rules that dictate which and how many DEI hires have to be directors, actors and producers will disappear overnight and some much saner award will be handed out for the movie that gets the most views and the highest viewer ratings.

Well, anyway, that’s the dream.  How it really turns out will be interesting.  Amazon, Netflix and the rest of the streaming services will be the ones to harness the new creators that will appear along with these new video tools.  But they’re not entrenched in the old studio systems, at least not to the degree that Hollywood is.  I think they’ll see opportunities aplenty in nurturing independent studios; at least after some of them produce stories people want to see.  And that’s already happening.  “O brave new world, / That has such movies in’t!”

 

Book Marketing is Hard!

Okay, so I’ve figured out how marketing books gets done.  You write what you think is a good book.  The first variable is whether it’s in a popular genre or not.  Currently the old genres like science fiction and crime are sort of old fashioned and neglected.  The popular sub-genres combine the old genres with romance or outright pornography.  Apparently, the largest segment of the book-reading population consists of frustrated women of various reading predilections but definitely needing, let us be kind and call it, “romantic” content.  Okay, that’s strike one against me already.

So, now that you have the text, you edit it or pay an editor to find grammatical errors.  Not fun but necessary.  I did it myself so it’s probably not 100% but as they say, good enough for government work.  But editors can do a lot more than find typos.  They can critique everything from character description to pacing all the way up to whether the hero rides away into the sunset with or without the beautiful girl.  I thought about hiring one of those but when I spoke to her, I didn’t really like the vibe.  I kinda thought she would object to my tone vis-à-vis blue haired antifa trolls.  So, strike two against me already.

And after that you have to set up your book page and your author page on Amazon and set up your Amazon ads and all that stuff.  I actually paid a marketer to do that stuff and I guess I got a professional result for all the money I spent.  But that doesn’t get you much in the way of visibility.  You’ll sell some hundreds of copies.  A couple of hundred would be disappointing. Six or eight hundred would be extremely good.  So I sold about four or five hundred copies.  Let’s call that a B- result.  No strike against me there.  But not the home run I wanted (if I may mix my metaphors for the moment).

After six months of dissatisfaction with the roll out of my book and viewing a multitude of YouTube videos on marketing books I had a plan to test the idea that book promotional giveaways would be a way to get the “visibility” I wanted.  So, I combined a five-day Amazon Kindle giveaway with a FreeBooksy five-day promo package.  This put my book in front of five different lists of book readers (one each day) who match up with the subject of my book.  FreeBooksy (and associated lists) claim that their lists have hundreds of thousands of readers.  So I plunked down about four hundred bucks for this plan and voila! halfway into the plan I’ve gotten over two thousand books given away.  So, I think this worked.

Now there are lots of caveats.  How many of the people who went to Amazon will end up reading the book?  How many would spend actual money to buy a sequel?  How many will bother to put up a rating or a review on Amazon?  So, the jury is still out on some aspects of this strategy but as of this morning (third day of promo) my book is number sixty (60) on the top 100 Free in Kindle Store list.  And before this I never got higher than 78,000.

Of course, once I write my sequel, I’ll have to do this whole thing over again so that people who liked “The Sniper” will buy (WITH MONEY!!!) the sequel.  But that’s alright.  Proof of concept gives me confidence that I can bring the horse to water.  It’s up to him to decide if he wants to drink (or read) Boy, these metaphors are getting really strained.  So that was what I did on my summer vacation.

Promos and Painter’s Tape

Update:

Best Sellers Rank: #100 Free in Kindle Store (!!!!!!!!)

#1 in Political Thrillers & Suspense

#2 in Military Thrillers (Kindle Store)

#2 in Technothrillers (Kindle Store)

Overall promo update total 9/10/2026, 8:00 pm 1,762 e-books

9/10/2026 8:00 pm update 1,002 e-books

Order total for 9/9/2026: 760 e-books

Today is the second day of the Based Book Sale  https://basedbooksale.substack.com/p/call-for-authors-2026-basedcon-basedand my 5-day Amazon giveaway promotion for “The Sniper” https://amazon.com/dp/B0G7WRJJPH

 

 

 

I have to work Thursday but what I’d rather do is check my Amazon dashboard every thirty seconds on day two of the promo.  Currently I’m # 286 in the Kindle Free Store.

Best Sellers Rank: #286 Free in Kindle Store
#1 in Military Thrillers (Kindle Store)
#2 in Technothrillers (Kindle Store)
#2 in Political Thrillers & Suspense

Previously the highest I ever got was # 3,692.

Of course, I have to wonder what kind of numbers the top ten are pulling.  So as of 11:30 p.m. the dashboard says 700 orders have been processes.  Interestingly one (and only one) of those orders was a paperback book bought for $9.99.  Kaching!  And even more absurd I sold one solitary page on Kindle Unlimited today.  I think that’s about $0.005.

Well, this is panning out better than I expected.  At this rate I guess I should have a few thousand orders when all is said and done.  So, let’s say the first step is on course to be completed successfully.

Now comes the part that is completely unknown.  Will having a few thousand copies of my book out in the world improve sales?  According to the experts, it should.  Of course, assuming the promo readers like it.  If they don’t like it then maybe it will actually decrease my sales.  But currently I’m sort of in the dark about what to look for and how quickly I should expect any reaction to the promo.  But, being an engineer, I will immediately start building a spread sheet and perform a statistical analysis comparing the pre-promo and post-promo sales numbers.  I’ll submit the report to the ghosts of the “Big Three” (Asimov, Clarke and Heinlein) and await their comments.  But I will say I think I’ve acquitted myself of my responsibilities vis-à-vis marketing my book.  From now on it’s up to the big dumb reading public out there to hear about my book and buy it.  The free ride will be over after September 13th and they’ll have to plunk down ten US simoleons ($9.99) for a paperback or a fin ($4.99) for an imaginary copy.  I think I’ve been more than generous with my promos and price reductions and general easy-going attitude about receiving the moolah.  So, wake up readers, you’re on notice!

My biggest real problem is that my lawn mowers are both on the side lines.  The ride-on mower needs an oil change (since last year) but I’m too lazy and disorganized to do it.  So, I’ve been using my 2016-vintage Murray 20” walk-behind mower with Side Discharge, 7” wheels, and Briggs & Stratton 300E series 125 cc OHV engine.  But the damn thing is falling apart at the seams.  The lower handle is wobbling around and the wheels look like they’re gonna fall off.  But being the lazy good for nothing I am, instead of tightening it up, I took some painters tape and tried to hold the lower handle onto the sleeve that it fits into.  You know, it didn’t work.  So, after work tomorrow I’m going to try and reshape the lower handle so it wants to fit into the sleeves.  If that fails, I’ll probably go to Home Depot and buy a new one.  After all, this one has been working continuously through the era of Trump and that is not an easy thing to do, I can tell you that.

September 9th Begins the Promotion for The Sniper

Updates:

Time Orders
9:30 AM 100
11:00 AM 212
2:45 PM 400
8:00 PM 604
11:30 PM 700

At 9:30 a.m. I broke through the 100 order mark.  Not bad.  So far, all have been e-books but that’s the point of this exercise; visibility.  Excelsior!

Based Book Sale

 

Image

September 9th is the beginning of the Based Book Sale and also of a promotion I have set up on Amazon for five days of free e-books for “The Sniper.”  And this is the perfect audience for my book.  These are the people who the book was written for.  These are people who won’t be shocked that my protagonists’ enemies are antifa thugs and leftist color revolution spooks.  In any other “science fiction” book sale, the number of blue-haired feminists in the audience will be considerable.  But not here.

And as a great kickoff, the leader of the sale, Hans G. Schantz, bought a copy of my book and wrote a five-star review that was extremely fair, well-written and cogent (see below).  In fact, it makes me wish I had involved him in the early marketing of my book!

Hans G. Schantz

5.0 out of 5 stars A Satisfying Vigilante/Revenge Thriller

Reviewed in the United States on September 5, 2026

Format: Kindle Verified Purchase

“The Sniper is an unapologetic vigilante thriller built around a simple and satisfying premise: what happens when the system fails completely, and men with the means to do something about it decide they’ve had enough?

Joseph Boghadair begins with a deeply personal grievance: the murder of his son and the failure of the authorities to deliver justice. But his private vendetta soon expands into something much larger as he and billionaire Paul Connors uncover corruption reaching deep into the federal government. Revenge becomes resistance, and resistance ultimately becomes armed revolt against a government that has forfeited its claim to obedience.

That escalation is the book’s great appeal. Boghadair isn’t waiting for another investigation, another hearing, or another election. He is a former Army sniper who knows exactly what he can do with a rifle, while Connors possesses the wealth and resources to turn one man’s vendetta into a genuine challenge to entrenched power. There is something viscerally satisfying about watching supposedly untouchable people discover that they are not, in fact, untouchable.

Does it get far-fetched? Certainly. The conspiracy is enormous, the resources brought to bear are extraordinary, and events eventually operate on a scale well beyond the plausible consequences of an ordinary vigilante story. But realism isn’t really the point. The Sniper is political wish-fulfillment in the tradition of the revenge thriller: a story about what might happen if decent men confronted tyranny not with petitions and procedural niceties, but with overwhelming force.

Taken on those terms, it works. Fast-moving, cathartic, and refreshingly willing to follow its premise to its logical extreme, The Sniper delivers a satisfying tale of revenge escalating into rebellion, with bad men finally discovering that actions have consequences.”

Simultaneously I have five days of promotion of the Amazon giveaway with a company called Written Word Media that maintains a number of reader lists among which is something called FreeBooksy which (as you can guess) sends notification to its hundreds of thousands of users, the names of books that are free on Amazon that day.  And they have a package with five different lists to cover the five days of my giveaway.

So theoretically hundreds of thousands of readers can see my promotion and get my book from Amazon.  What will it actually turn out to be?  Well, we shall certainly see soon enough.  As an absolute minimum there will be at least twenty or thirty downloaders.  I’ve previously done a promotion and without any outside notification that number of Amazon readers will download the book every day.  But if that is the extent of the interest, I will be extremely disappointed.  Realistically, I’m hoping for several hundred downloads.  That would be acceptable.  But I’ll be honest.  What I’m really looking for is something north of a thousand total downloads.  That I believe would qualify as a real success for the promotion.

So, for the next five days I’ll be clicking on my dashboards on Kindle Direct Publishing every thirty seconds trying to psychically persuade everyone on the Based Book Sale, the Amazon site and FreeBooksy to download my book and then write breathless glowing reviews about the incredible plot, unforgettable characters and general literary splendor of this inimitable masterpiece.

Out of the way peons!  World famous author walking by!  Please no free autographs!

Yo, Poe!

Yesterday I talked about an old collection of short stories that I keep around.  Now two of those stories are Poe’s “The Telltale Heart” and “The Cask of Amontillado.”  And I will say those are among his best.  But after writing the post last night it got me thinking about Poe, about his body of work.  Now without a doubt he was a very talented writer and poet.  But what about the bulk of his work?  Did it maintain a uniform quality?  This question interested me.

So, I took down my 1935 edition of “Tales of Mystery and Imagination by Edgar Allan Poe with Illustrations by Harry Clarke,” and attempted to remind myself of what Poe has left us of his talent.  And so, this will ignore his poetry; “The Raven” and his other gems which have their own charms but are mostly outside of my purview.

  • Found in a Bottle
  • Berenice
  • Morella
  • Some Passages in the Life of a Lion (Lionizing)
  • The Assignation
  • Bon-Bon
  • King Pest
  • Metzengerstein
  • Silence
  • A Descent into the Maelström
  • Ligeia
  • The Fall of the House of Usher
  • William Wilson
  • The Conversation of Eiros and Charmion
  • The Man of the Crowd
  • The Murders in the Rue Morgue
  • The Mystery of Marie Rogêt
  • The Colloquy of Monos and Una
  • The Masque of the Red Death
  • The Pit and the Pendulum
  • The Tell-Tale Heart
  • The Gold Bug
  • The Black Cat
  • The Spectacles
  • The Premature Burial
  • The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar
  • The Oblong Box
  • The Cask of Amontillado
  • Landor’s Cottage

Now a quick count told me I hadn’t read even half of these stories.  Looking at the stories I had read I could confirm that Poe was not pigeonholed into a narrow genre.  The “Gold Bug” and “the Murders in the Rue Morgue” were completely removed from his more fantastical stories like “The Fall of the House of Usher” or “The Masque of the Red Death.”  And something like “The Pit and the Pendulum” or “A Descent into the Maelström” were something else completely different.  All they do share is his style (or maybe voice).  He’s constantly adding touches to the story and the scene and the characters and their words.  Sometimes he overdoes it and the story reels out as this drunken lord of language adds embellishment onto embellishment, like in “Some Passages in the Life of a Lion (Lionizing)”:

“We were all lions and recherchs.

There was a modern Platonist. He quoted Porphyry, Iamblicus, Plotinus, Proclus, Hierocles, Maximus Tyrius, and Syrianus.

There was a human-perfectibility man. He quoted Turgot, Price, Priestly, Condorcet, De Stael, and the “Ambitious Student in Ill Health.”

There was Sir Positive Paradox. He observed that all fools were philosophers, and that all philosophers were fools.

There was stheticus Ethix. He spoke of fire, unity, and atoms; bi-part and pre-existent soul; affinity and discord; primitive intelligence and homomeria.

There was Theologos Theology. He talked of Eusebius and Arianus; heresy and the Council of Nice; Puseyism and consubstantialism; Homousios and Homouioisios.

There was Fricasse from the Rocher de Cancale. He mentioned Muriton of red tongue; cauliflowers with velout sauce; veal à la St. Menehoult; marinade à la St. Florentin; and orange jellies en mosaïques.

There was Bibulus O’Bumper. He touched upon Latour and Markbrünnen; upon Mousseux and Chambertin; upon Richbourg and St. George; upon Haubrion, Leonville, and Medoc; upon Barac and Preignac; upon Grâve, upon Sauterne, upon Lafitte, and upon St. Peray. He shook his head at Clos de Vougeot, and told, with his eyes shut, the difference between Sherry and Amontillado.

There was Signor Tintontintino from Florence. He discoursed of Cimabu, Arpino, Carpaccio, and Argostino – of the gloom of Caravaggio, of the amenity of Albano, of the colors of Titian, of the frows of Rubens, and of the waggeries of Jan Steen.

There was the President of the Fum-Fudge University. He was of opinion that the moon was called Bendis in Thrace, Bubastis in Egypt, Dian in Rome, and Artemis in Greece. There was a Grand Turk from Stamboul. He could not help thinking that the angels were horses, cocks, and bulls; that somebody in the sixth heaven had seventy thousand heads; and that the earth was supported by a sky-blue cow with an incalculable number of green horns.

There was Delphinus Polyglott. He told us what had become of the eighty-three lost tragedies of Æschylus; of the fifty-four orations of Isus; of the three hundred and ninety-one speeches of Lysias; of the hundred and eighty treatises of Theophrastus; of the eighth book of the conic sections of Apollonius; of Pindar’s hymns and dithyrambics; and of the five and forty tragedies of Homer Junior.

There was Ferdinand Fitz-Fossillus Feltspar. He informed us all about internal fires and tertiary formations; about eriforms, fluidiforms, and solidiforms; about quartz and marl; about schist and schorl; about gypsum and trap; about talc and calc; about blende and horn-blende; about mica-slate and pudding-stone; about cyanite and lepidolite; about hematite and tremolite; about antimony and calcedony; about manganese and whatever you please.

There was myself. I spoke of myself; – of myself, of myself, of myself; – of Nosology, of my pamphlet, and of myself. I turned up my nose, and I spoke of myself.”

Now, obviously Poe is having a good time here trying to impress us with the lengths to which he would stretch the absurdity of his little conceit.  Interestingly in the section above about “Bibulus O’Bumper” I notice he threw in the word “Medoc” and the phrase “the difference between Sherry and Amontillado.”  These would show up again in “The Cask of Amontillado.”  So, it seems like his stories may bubble up ex tempore from the contents of his normal life and he just applies the details to decorate the plots.  Obviously, he is an educated and cultured man.  What is interesting is how he can apply this knowledge base to the most fantastical and bizarre stories.  Premature burial and murderous orangutans stalking the streets of Paris and a plague spreading ghost in a masked costume.

Of course, Poe has his problems.  His stories are closing in on two hundred years of age and sometimes the prose looks a little stilted.  Not always mind you.  The “Telltale Heart” reads like modern English for the most part.  But there are some stories that feel antique mostly because of the use of some literary conventions that just aren’t used anymore.  But all in all, Poe is still an author that a modern audience can read for pleasure.

And I think I’m going to read through his tales again, or in some cases, for the first time.  I’d like to decide just where he fits in the pantheon.  Let’s see.

21 Great Stories – A Book Review

When I was a kid in high school back in Brooklyn in the early 1970s every school either public or private had an English class that used this book as a source of classic short stories.  Now at the time it never occurred to me to look at the bio on the editors who selected these “great” stories.  Many years later I did and discovered that these two editors were actually educators who worked at two local high schools (Abraham Lincoln H.S. and Sheepshead Bay H.S.) that were both within a mile of my home.  In fact, Camera Girl went to one of these schools (although as I learned, she wasn’t really putting in the effort she should have and it took all my help to get her over the finish line her senior year).  So, there is my link to this revered literary treasury.  And back then I really wasn’t particularly interested in the kind of stories represented.  There was one Ray Bradbury story but it wasn’t really science fiction so it wouldn’t have been on my radar.

But many years later I saw the familiar cover of the paperback on the shelf of a discount book store while we were on vacation in Old Orchard Beach, Maine and since I hadn’t packed enough reading material, I bought the book for (I think) two dollars.

And over the course of the week we were there, I read the whole thing for the first time in my life.  And damned if most of the stories weren’t excellent in their own separate ways.  Sure, I liked some of them much better than others but I had to admit that almost without exception they were well-crafted stories that could stand the test of time and quite a few of them could be re-read over the years without becoming tiresome.

Here’s the table of contents:

  • War by Luigi Pirandello
  • Eve in Darkness by Kaatje Hurlbut
  • There Will Come Soft Rains by Ray Bradbury
  • Tobermory by Saki
  • The Two Bottles of Relish by Lord Dunsany
  • Footfalls by Wilbur Daniel Steele
  • Hook by Walter Van Tilburg Clark
  • Wine on the Desert by Max Brand
  • The Lady or the Tiger? by Frank Stockton
  • An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge by Ambrose Bierce
  • The Cask of Amontillado by Edgar Allan Poe
  • The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe
  • So Much Unfairness of Things by C. D. B. Bryan
  • The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant
  • The Adventure of the Speckled Band by Arthur Conan Doyle
  • To Build a Fire by Jack London
  • Leiningen Versus the Ants by Carl Stephenson
  • Eveline by James Joyce
  • The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber
  • What Stumped the Bluejays by Mark Twain
  • The Pearl by John Steinbeck

If you asked me which was my favorite once a year it’s likely that I’d give you a different answer every time.  It seems to change based on what mood I’m in that day.  If I’m in a light mood it might be “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.”  If I’m feeling cynical, I might enjoy “The Cask of Amontillado” or “To Build a Fire.”  But I can usually find a story to reread if I’m waiting for an oil change or a dental appointment.

Now, let me be clear.  These are not all the short stories I like.  In fact, these are not even my favorite short stories.  I can find funnier sections in P.G. Wodehouse and I can find more engaging science fiction short stories by several other authors.  Specifically, “There Will Come Soft Rains” isn’t even in my top twenty Ray Bradbury short stories.  But this is a good book for tasting a cross section of classic short story styles.  Not a bad book to own.