Here is another movie for which I will not provide a spoiler alert. This movie cannot be spoiled. There’s nothing there to spoil.
For whatever reason, more than a few well-known actors and celebrities appeared in this ridiculous film. The star is Bill Murray as Police Chief Cliff Robertson. Adam Driver is Officer Ronnie Peterson, Robertson’s patrol partner. Steve Buscemi is a farmer named Frank Miller. Tilda Swinton is Zelda Winston, a samurai/funeral director/space alien. Danny Glover is a hardware store owner. Selena Gomez is Zoe, “a young traveler.” Rosie Perez plays a tv reporter and Iggy Pop is a coffee guzzling zombie. Carol Kane is a fat bloated drunken zombie who wants a drink. And last but not least, Sturgill Simpson, who also sings the eponymous theme song of the movie (several times) is “Guitar Zombie.” He is this by virtue of a guitar that is dragging behind his foot by the strings as he stumbles zombie-like through the night.
Most of the dialog is Murray and Driver speculating on the steadily increasing zombie body count in what I suppose is supposed to be the stoic tones of small-town cops. They also break the fourth wall from time to time by mentioning what the script said would happen next. And one strange character arc has Tilda Swinton interrupt her zombie slicing work to be picked up by an alien space ship and transported away.
The reason given for the appearance of the walking dead is that the Earth has “fallen off its axis” because of “polar fracking.” Eventually, one by one, or in small groups all the townspeople are eaten by the zombies. Finally Driver informs Murray that the movie ends with them dying while courageously fighting the zombies. So, they get out of their squad car and get to it. And not a moment too soon.
I’m not sure whether this movie had a script or whether the actors just extemporized. There might have been a few moments that were mildly funny. Steve Buscemi is funny even when he doesn’t mean to be. But there aren’t many. And by the middle of the movie, you’re just hoping it ends sooner than later. But it doesn’t. It goes on and on. It’s a very long 103 minutes.
This movie must have an audience. But that audience doesn’t include me.
The 5 stars are for the review. Definitely NOT the movie.
Thanks Ed. Kind words are always welcome.
Agreed. This movie was awful. There were a few funny bits. If you need to see them, watch the trailer they are all in there.
Like you, I just wanted it to end after a while.
After watching this steaming pile I wanted my money and my time back.
I must be completely out of touch with what’s considered commercially viable. How does something like this get approved? High school students could easily make something equally bad for almost no money. It’s pathetic.