Now scientists say you do know when you have died and your brain works for a short time after your heart stops beating. Most who have survived a death experience say they were not at all afraid. Perhaps this is a mercy given to us to ease the transition. That’s why I believe in hospice and palliative care. Humans don’t always die peacefully so I’m all for them dying on their own terms when they can.
My good friend’s brother had brain cancer. Very painful. But just before he died he entered a state of grace where the pain was gone and he could thank his sister for taking care of him in his final weeks at home instead of dying alone in a hospital bed.
My dear wife’s mother said the day that she died that her husband of many years was at the foot of the bed, beckoning her to go with him. He had been dead for four years by then.
My own mother said my father, who had been gone for 16 years, appeared before her in her room at the nursing home a week before she died. She said he was dressed in the clothes he wore as a plant supervisor at Rocketdyne during the moonshot program. That was when he was happiest. He had important work and he was in charge. She was also seeing cars from the 50s and 60s driving through her room that week before she passed. She wasn’t at all afraid. When she passed on, she was in a hospital room but in my daughter’s hospital with me, my brother, his family, my daughters and my grandson with her. She finally told the nurses to remove the PAP breathing machine. They told her if they did, she would die. She said that was already decided and it the mask was uncomfortable. So she passed on her own terms.
My wife passed when she took a nap with a headache. Died peacefully from an undiagnosed aneurysm.
I hope I am given the grace to go so peacefully as they.