Isn’t it the case that the only times we feel incandescently alive is when things go very, very right or very, very wrong. At other times, even when things are going well, we’re mostly running on autopilot. Most of our brain is asleep or distracted by all the minutia of modern life; the internet, the office gossip, all the gnawing worries we have about family problems, money, politics, world affairs and health.
But on those days when we meet a stunning woman or get hit by a car or win the lottery or get arrested by the cops our brains are lit up like the Fourth of July. Every fiber of your being is jazzed. Even when you’re just thinking to yourself, the voice of your own thoughts is a roar in your head. You feel almost painfully alive.
Think about what it must be like to be a condemned man on the day of his execution. Adrenalin is coursing through his veins and the sound of his blood pumping is pounding in his ears. His muscles are tensed for flight but there’s no way out. Or think about one of those ancient armies that was in pitched battle when suddenly the enemy line breaks and turns to flee the ground in a rout. Think of the sense of triumph and relief that death has been avoided and instead the spoils of victory were imminent. Maybe you’ve saved your native land from rape and plunder by an army of marauders.
When we’re living our normal lives routine and a sense of moderation is the rule. Don’t eat too much, don’t drink too much, don’t stay up too late, don’t get too excited. Don’t live too much. I guess we don’t want to use up whatever we have left until the end. And that is the sensible way to do things.
But it’s not very Homeric. If you read Homer or even Tolkien you hear about the joy of battle or the battle frenzy. And I think it’s this same idea. It’s a heightened sense of existence. It’s an adrenalin rush. In our modern world only soldiers and police and firemen are likely to experience this sense of heightened existence from contact with existential risk. Maybe add prizefighters and athletes at the very peak of performance.
What about the rest of us? As I said, when the day is very, very bad or very, very good. I guess a lot of people might have had some sense of this on September 11th 2001, especially if they knew someone who worked in the Towers. I did and it was terrifying until I knew that they were safe. Maybe you can count a sort of minor rush from something like a favorite underdog sports team winning a championship or maybe Trump winning the presidency in 2016. But these are of course just tinges of exultation.
But the world is becoming a more dangerous and uncertain place. It’s part of the fundamental change of America that Barack Obama initiated. And as it becomes more dangerous, we will experience a heightened sense of being alive. We will live in interesting times. And we will by default become more interesting ourselves. And as risk becomes more and more a basic part of our lives, taking bigger risks will become less “unthinkable.” And then change will come from those who used to be oh so careful.