When I saw this headline, Colin Kaepernick Agent, Increasingly Frustrated at NFL’s Snub, Sends Out Press Release
I thought it was a satire piece like in the Babylon Bee.
After reading it I knew it was real but because of that it’s much funnier than any satirical piece could be. Imagine this. Kaepernick torpedoes the NFL’s relationship with its most loyal fans, sues the league for malfeasance and wins millions and then his agent is increasingly frustrated that no one wants to hire him and start the cycle over again. It’s pure comedy gold!
In order to set the record straight and counter the false narratives out there his agent sent out a press release. Here are some of the best bits:
Has Colin been offered a job by an NFL team?
No, not a single team has offered Colin a job since the 2016 season, in which he began his peaceful protest.
Has Colin ever had a workout with an NFL team?
No, not a single team has brought Colin in for a workout. Seattle brought Colin in for a visit but did not work him out. Afterwards, Pete Carroll said Colin is a “starter in this league.” No other NFL team has interviewed or worked out Colin in the past 3 seasons, despite other false statements in the media to the contrary.
What about Colin being a “distraction” with the 49ers?
His coach, Chip Kelly, during the 2016 season said about Colin, “He is zero distraction.” In that same 2016 season, Colin also won the Len Eshmont Award, voted on by 49er players and given to the 49er who best exemplifies inspirational and courageous play.
Well I’m glad to hear he was zero distraction as he tanked the league’s ratings with his protest. Anyway, Nike will drag old Colin out for at least a year or two more until everyone actually forgets who he is. Then they’ll harass us with some new dumbass they find biting the hand that feeds him. Hey maybe Colin can go to China and try his protest over there. After all the Uighur people are being oppressed pretty awfully by the Chinese. I’m sure the Chinese would be grateful to Colin for pointing this out to them. They are a very reasonable people. Just ask the Uighurs and the Tibetans.