Who will Call the Shots for the Democrats?

I know I said that I’m assuming that President Trump’s re-election is a foregone conclusion and the results of the Democrat primary are of no consequence, but the hilarity of their demolition derby is just too wonderful to ignore.  I must opine.

The outcome of the first two state elections for the Democrat Presidential Primary have been disastrous for Joe Biden.  He was fourth in Iowa and fifth in New Hampshire.  Now granted those states are practically bereft of minority voters who are Joe’s major constituency but to not even come in the top three is highly troubling to the bag men who are supplying Joe’s campaign with the millions of dollars needed to keep the No Malarkey! Reality Bus Tour plodding along on the highways and byways of this great land.  It’s probably a good bet that they are already in contact with the Buttigieg and Klobuchar campaigns figuring out how to siphon off funds from Joe and funnel them to the current flavors of the month.

There are already voices in the media calling for Joe to suspend his campaign.  They fear that if he remains in the race, he’ll prevent the moderate candidate from knocking off Bernie.  You see, the less crazy but more corrupt Dems are afraid that the more crazy but less corrupt Bernie Bros will get their candidate nominated.  And those less crazies know that Bernie is unelectable.  So even though they must be careful to hide their actions and intentions, they will do anything they can to stop Bernie from accruing the number of delegates needed to win the nomination outright.  As long as that is prevented, they can always rig the convention to get their preferred candidate nominated.

But so far, Joe says he’s committed to going forward.  His hope is that Nevada and South Carolina will give him the wins he needs to re-establish himself as the front runner.  And I really do hope he does stay in.  If he manages to siphon off just enough votes to allow Bernie to edge out Butt Pete this contest can go on and on.  And once Bloomberg enters the fray things will get even more confused.  Bloomberg will pour hundreds of millions of dollars into the race and tempt the establishment with dreams of their own Trump who can rule by fiat and pay for his programs himself.  How wonderfully unsettled it all seems to be.

But which way will it all go?  I think Bernie will once again fail to secure an outright delegate win.  I think they’ll give the nomination to Petey Boy.  And I think they’ll make Klobuchar or Kamala Harris his running mate.  How exciting is that?

Okay, so I made all this up just now.  But tomorrow all these sandcastles could be washed away.  Suppose Biden gets a crushing win in South Carolina.  Suddenly he’s riding high again.  Or suppose Klobuchar beats Buttigieg in both Nevada and South Carolina.  Now we must flip the order on the ticket with Amy on top.  Or suppose Bernie takes Nevada and Joe comes in second.  All these possibilities scramble the logic of who will end up as Dem nominee.

And all of this is driving the Democrat voters and leaders into fits.  They’re scared of not knowing who the nominee will be and they’re scared that all the choices are bad.  The fear and uncertainty are just great.  What a wonderful time to be a conservative.

So not that it should matter who they pick, because they’re still going to lose.  But knowing that they’re in agony just makes it so much better.

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2 years ago

LOL! Your opening paragraph is the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
Thanks for the laugh.