05AUG2020 OCF Update – Marooned in the Dead Zone

Tropical Storm “Whatever the Hell it Was Called” blew through here yesterday and I’ve been without power, phone, cable and internet for about thirty hours.  One point of clarification, Camera Girl and I only have a land line.  I am the last adult male in North America without any sort of cellular phone.  Because of this I haven’t seen news, read a blog or even been able to get on OCS since early afternoon on Tuesday.  I took a car ride to visit family today and had to make four detours to get through all the downed power lines in my heavily wooded part of the country.  But my visit was practical.  I wanted to make sure they had running water in the house and were able to keep their refrigerated food cold.  I didn’t ask them whether the country was still called America or whether the White House had been repainted black to show sensitivity for hurt feelings.  I wasn’t even sure exactly how many people in the Northeast were without power.  I knew there were a lot locally but how far it extended was completely unknown to me.

It’s kind of a weird feeling.  I couldn’t even get on line to do my day job.  Luckily the dvd player doesn’t require the internet and so I was able to watch the next episode of Star Trek tonight.  It’s the one where Kirk, Spock, Scotty and McCoy go down to a planet and then start aging 30 years per day and Spock convenes a competency hearing and has Kirk declared too senile to captain the Enterprise.  It’s wonderful.  I’ll write it up soon but what struck me was that I was so grateful for a diversion from the quiet.  Well, not exactly quiet.  If the air conditioner is off, I can hear the generator cranking away.  It’s about as loud as a lawn tractor but hour after hour it really begins to get annoying as a background sound.  And it’s not exactly cabin fever.  After all the car still runs.  I mean, it’s not as if I’m going all Jack Torrance or anything but if Camera Girl starts pulling a Shelley Duvall act around here it won’t be good.  In a lot of ways, I’ve always been the caretaker here and nobody better forget it.

Well anyway, I’ve been thinking about all the bizarre things that have happened in the last six months and I’ve decided we have officially entered into a permanent state of madness.  Basically nothing is unthinkable and the odds of the whole human race descending into an irrevocable death spiral seems just as likely as not.  And at this point I think I might be willing to take my chances in the new setup.  With enough ammunition and gasoline, I could see myself as the next Lord Humungous.  I’ve always wanted to be able to threaten to unleash my dogs of war.  The only thing is I’ll have to lose some weight. Humungous was pretty fit.

So that’s where we are.  Forced to huddle in our homes afraid to go to the grocery store without a mask because the thought police will turn me in.  Working from home because our corporate masters are afraid of being sued for killing us with COVID and now we don’t have electricity, running water, refrigeration or access to mass communication.  At this rate pretty soon we’ll be envying the peasants during the black plague because at least they had that guy with the cart collecting the dead.  We’ll probably be forced to stockpile our dead until someone figures out a safe way for the garbagemen to collect them.


Update: 6AUG2020 I travelled to a wifi area to post this.  I’m not sure when my access will be restored so bear with my sparse commenting for the next day or so.

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War Pig
War Pig
1 year ago

I’ll often take up to a week at a time without being connected except to my family. I putter around the house, shampoo carpets, rearrange the garage, cook Flemish carbonnade or baked steak in a dutch oven instead of burgers on the grill. I’ll bake my bread for the month, take stale bread to the park for the birds and squirrels, make a few fancy desserts (tough to make single servings but I dare not risk blood sugar issues by eating too many) and read a book or three.   Last month I got some locally grown strawberries and made… Read more »

1 year ago

I can’t imagine life as a microscopic red element in a sea of deep blue. Geographically, 90% of the nation is the opposite.