Yalta – 2021 (Sorta)

Toward the end of World War II the “Big Three,” Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin got together for a conference in the Black Sea resort of Yalta.  Here they discussed the fate of the post-war world and possibly drank vodka.  Today a similar event will occur.

I’m trying to decide which one I am.  Based on my bloody-mindedness I guess Stalin might be the closest analogy.  But if politics is the measure, I’ll be Churchill.

I guess the analogy breaks down along the lines of world domination.  The issues that will dominate this conference will be the need to wash down sandwiches and potato salad with lemonade and beer.  I am donating the aforementioned potato salad and Camera Girl’s world-famous ricotta cheese cake.  There is talk of penny ante poker and Russian roulette but we’ll see about that.  I expect points of disagreement but also wide areas of concurrence.  My only unbreakable rule will be that I must be addressed as “Your Grand High Celestial Irritableness.”  That is like iron!

This conference occurs at a distinct juncture.  The Southern New England states are surreptitiously admitting that even their spineless inhabitants have stopped believing in the mask farce.  So, the authorities are grasping the miracle of the vaccine as the excuse for this retreat from mask idiocy and will officially allow us to return to near normalcy.  So, we are not expecting Karen to report us to the boys in blue.  But if they do show up, we intend to don black-face and stand on our George Floydian right to do whatever the hell we feel like and resist arrest by any and all means up to and including overdosing on fentanyl.  Or cheesecake.  That’s my preference.

Seriously, it’s pretty great finally getting together with good friends and celebrate summer appropriately.  This will be the first major reassembly of the Morning Coffee Walk in over a year.  We’ll probably keep the political discussion to a minimum only because it won’t facilitate good digestion.  But we will at the very least discuss Joe Biden’s squint.

And of course, because of this celebration there will be a noticeable lag in content today.  I’m sure all will agree that this kind of conference is worth the cost.  The proximity of such high caliber minds is sure to spark some amazing consequences.  We may discover anti-gravity or even lo-cal pizza.  So let the good times roll.  Boy, look at that cape FDR is wearing.  Maybe I need one of those.