Yalta – 2021 (Sorta)

Toward the end of World War II the “Big Three,” Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin got together for a conference in the Black Sea resort of Yalta.  Here they discussed the fate of the post-war world and possibly drank vodka.  Today a similar event will occur.

I’m trying to decide which one I am.  Based on my bloody-mindedness I guess Stalin might be the closest analogy.  But if politics is the measure, I’ll be Churchill.

I guess the analogy breaks down along the lines of world domination.  The issues that will dominate this conference will be the need to wash down sandwiches and potato salad with lemonade and beer.  I am donating the aforementioned potato salad and Camera Girl’s world-famous ricotta cheese cake.  There is talk of penny ante poker and Russian roulette but we’ll see about that.  I expect points of disagreement but also wide areas of concurrence.  My only unbreakable rule will be that I must be addressed as “Your Grand High Celestial Irritableness.”  That is like iron!

This conference occurs at a distinct juncture.  The Southern New England states are surreptitiously admitting that even their spineless inhabitants have stopped believing in the mask farce.  So, the authorities are grasping the miracle of the vaccine as the excuse for this retreat from mask idiocy and will officially allow us to return to near normalcy.  So, we are not expecting Karen to report us to the boys in blue.  But if they do show up, we intend to don black-face and stand on our George Floydian right to do whatever the hell we feel like and resist arrest by any and all means up to and including overdosing on fentanyl.  Or cheesecake.  That’s my preference.

Seriously, it’s pretty great finally getting together with good friends and celebrate summer appropriately.  This will be the first major reassembly of the Morning Coffee Walk in over a year.  We’ll probably keep the political discussion to a minimum only because it won’t facilitate good digestion.  But we will at the very least discuss Joe Biden’s squint.

And of course, because of this celebration there will be a noticeable lag in content today.  I’m sure all will agree that this kind of conference is worth the cost.  The proximity of such high caliber minds is sure to spark some amazing consequences.  We may discover anti-gravity or even lo-cal pizza.  So let the good times roll.  Boy, look at that cape FDR is wearing.  Maybe I need one of those.

The Coffee Walk Bunch II – The Trumpocalypse Aftermath

For those who read my earlier post, The Coffee Walk Bunch , this is the follow-up.  I was away from the office on some training during election week.  There were some e-mails to acknowledge the momentous events but the face to face had to wait until the next Monday.  To say it was a contrast to the pre-election mood would be a gross understatement.  That  dispirited assemblage of men had been replaced by a jolly band of strutting conquistadores.  Gone was all defeatism.  Cast aside was the doom and gloom.  All talk was of the stunning victory and the accompanying despair of the progressives.  Schadenfreude was rampant.  And personally gratifying was the acknowledgement of my brilliance as a steadfast proclaimer of the Trump victory.  In fact my Tubman wager (although not literally possible to collect on due to the unavailability of a Tubman $20 bill) was celebrated with a framed and inscribed Jackson presented with all appropriate acclamation for the winner (that was me).  I modestly accepted the winnings and gave a brief and animated address on the folly of betting against someone of my obvious accomplishments.  Enthusiasm for this speech was, in my opinion, undeservedly muted and they instead congratulated themselves for being on the winning side.  I let this Trump Triumphalism go on for about fifteen minutes just to be fair and also because I really enjoyed it too.

After that I brought them back to earth.  “So you think God is in his heaven and all’s right with the world in this best of all possible worlds.  Suckers!  All you’ve got is a reprieve.”  I spelled out the problems they faced.

  1.  Although Trump had shown great discernment in identifying immigration as the underlying issue that needed to be addressed by a candidate, there was no way of knowing if he could or would solve that problem.
  2. The Democrats wouldn’t just fold up and go away and let Trump and Republicans have a free hand in undoing the Obama agenda.
  3. Trump was a completely unpredictable player.  He might be a great help or he might actually do great harm to the country.
  4. Regardless of eventual success or failure of the Trump presidency, the weeks and months ahead would be full of frustration and uncertainty.
  5. The country itself had not unified.  A few hundred thousand votes in a handful of states separated the progressives and conservatives from majority to minority.  The nation was just as disunited as ever.  Probably more so, based on the post election violence on display.

I’m not sure if they believed my assessment.  I’m not sure if I wanted them to believe it.  After all, the holidays are supposed to be a time of happiness and generous spirit even toward your enemies.  Maybe we should embrace optimism at this time of year.  It’s definitely more enjoyable than pessimism.  Even the lousy coffee served by the cafeteria was described as better by those who somehow imbibe it.  So I’ll grant them their respite until the Obama retreat.  Then we’ll renew debate and solve the world’s problems, one lousy cup of joe at a time.