What is Trump’s Secret?

What makes President Trump so effective?  It’s actually two things together.

  • He knows how the game has been played.
  • He’s not afraid of the players.

Let me elaborate

1)

Donald Trump has looked behind the curtain and he knows the wizard is a fraud.  He has spent his life dealing at first hand with the frauds and thieves who run the government in places like New York City and he knows that they’re corrupt and he knows they’re vulnerable.  The Democrats have used their identity politics so successfully for so long because the Republicans will accommodate almost any compromise so long as their personal privileges are maintained.  Both sides have abandoned the middle classes in exchange for Wall Street money and an identity politics charade in which each side plays its assigned part.  The Left stokes the resentment of minorities and women and the Establishment Right mouths its platitudes about the Constitution and promises its constituency that half a loaf is better than nothing and someday the new Americans will see the light and forsake the Democrats.

Donald Trump could see from a mile off that JEB! and the rest of the Kabuki Theater crew were setting up to hand Hillary a rather easy win and he decided to pull the curtain aside and let the people see the truth about the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz, that he was a fraud.  He showed us that everything they said was a lie and the only missing ingredient needed for winning was wanting to win.

And even when the Deep State has thrown literally everything including the kitchen sink at President Trump and his supporters, he is inexorably pushing them back in every direction he has applied force.

  • He forced the spineless Republican Congress to provide a tax cut and incentives for business to move back to the United States and in return the economy has come roaring back.
  • He resisted the bait to involve the United States in any major military adventures overseas and in return places like North Korea have begun to talk about peace.
  • He threatens NAFTA and China with tariffs and in return negotiations start to become the path forward.
  • He tells Mexico that endless immigrants on our southern border will be the end of their free trade gravy train and in return the Mexican president agrees to stanch the flow of Guatemalans.
  • He hires William Barr to be his Attorney General and in return Mueller folds his tent and Comey and company are quaking in their boots about the expected indictments that are just around the corner.2. When Donald Trump was a businessman negotiating with the government and the power brokers that call the shots, he found out that they are petty and mostly not that smart. He realized that if someone was willing to expose both sides of the scam, Democrat and Republican, then the people would see something worth voting for.

2)

Now this is not a risk-free enterprise.  People like the Clintons have made the politics of personal destruction a veritable art form.  When you add in the operatives that Obama and Hillary staffed the Justice Department with you are talking about a recipe for high powered railroading of anyone standing in their way.  Just look at the victims of the Mueller investigation, some of them were men whose only crime was agreeing to talk to the FBI without a lawyer present.

But President Trump has demonstrated that he knows how to navigate the swamp and now it looks like he has come out on the other side of this cesspool and is positioned to give them a taste of their own medicine.

Being capable of successfully confronting the coordinated offensive of the Media, the Democrat Congress and the Deep State is almost unprecedented.  Nixon was forced to resign.  The Bushes were chewed up until by the end of their tenures there was nothing left of either.  And they were career politicians.  Trump can do it because he’s not afraid of them.  In fact, he enjoys punching back.  His ability to get his message out and draw blood from his adversaries is his trademark.  Low Energy Jeb and Crooked Hillary and Nervous Nancy.  He always draws blood and he keeps on jabbing until he’s made his point.

And that’s the secret of President Trump’s success.  Not only does he know his enemies’ weaknesses but he’s not afraid to go after them and make them afraid of him.  And this is only the beginning.  Once the Comeys and Brennans start to cut deals to get leniency we will see some bigger fish get fried.  I’m of the opinion that by 2024 he’ll have retired or imprisoned most of the current big names in Democrat politics.  Who knows, could Hillary be on that list?

So that’s what I think is the formula responsible for the political jiu-jitsu he does so well.  He knows their tricks and he’s not afraid to mix it up with them.  The other Republicans lack part or all of this combination.  The knowledge and the courage.  Let’s be thankful he came along.  Let’s hope he trains his successor.  We can’t afford any more Bushes.

Can Pence Succeed Trump?

No one can replace Donald Trump.  He is unique.  Of the seven billion plus humans inhabiting planet Earth there couldn’t be another even close to his experiences, personality and skills.  His quirks and his abilities are completely idiosyncratic.  But he will also someday be term limited from serving as President of the United States.  So, it is necessary to consider who could succeed Donald J. Trump as president.

Mike Pence would be the conventional choice.  The Vice President of a successful President should have a leg up.  But Al Gore and Richard Nixon could disagree.  Assuming President Trump continues to preside over a healthy economy chances are Mike Pence would have at least an even chance at winning.  But is Mike Pence the man for the job?

In terms of personality and background it would be hard to imagine a starker contrast than Trump and Pence.

 

Name Donald Trump Mike Pence
Birthplace New York City, NY Columbus, IN
family business real estate tycoon gas station owner
net worth north of 1 billion dollars $700,000 (mostly future pension benefits)
liquid net worth in the tens of millions $15,000
religious convictions doubtful and conflicted devout
total number of wives 3 1
total lifetime number of porn star sex liaisons impossible to know but upper limit in triple figures zero
Ability to withstand cross-examination by George Stephanopoulos infinite zero

 

If you read Mike’s bio, he checks all the boxes for a social conservative.  He’s pro-life, religious, family values, defense of marriage.  He signed a bill as governor of Indiana to protect religious business owners from anti-discrimination law suits by homosexuals.  But he immediately signed an amended version that gutted it when the Media, some big businesses and progressive advocacy groups coordinated their public attacks and threatened to boycott Indiana.  And this latter incident is the troubling sticking point.  Does Pence have the guts to stick to his guns and defy the progressive coalition?

Now, there are some mitigating circumstances that are in his favor.  Being the Governor of Indiana during the Obama presidency doesn’t have the privileges that being President of the United States has.  You can imagine the pressure being brought to bear by business leaders as negative publicity swirled around Indiana during the blitzkrieg that the Media created.  And I’m sure the US Attorney General’s office was probably on the phone threatening him too.  But however, you slice it, the optics were hardly Trumpian.

It is fair to ask if Mike Pence may have learned something in the last three years of working with Donald Trump that improves his case.  I would have to say yes.  It seems highly unlikely that working in close proximity to President Trump hasn’t provided very valuable object lessons in how to triage the almost unending series of crises, both actual and media-fabricated that have confronted the White House since January of 2017.  By the end of President Trump’s second term, I would imagine even Mike Pence will have added a certain understated swagger to his manner when dealing with the media and other pests.  Undoubtedly, he’ll never be able to launch a vindictive tweet at Chuck Schumer or bark out a fake news sound bite the way The Donald can but I don’t doubt he’ll manage to make his points without collapsing into spineless acquiescence to the likes of Stephanopoulos.

Now this doesn’t answer the other important question.  Is Mike Pence the best choice for Trump’s successor?  Frankly, I doubt that.  I think the best man for the job will be another independent businessman or possibly an extraordinary military leader (of course my favorite choice is always me but we’ll leave that for another day).  But for this essay let’s restrict ourselves to whether Mike Pence could carry on the good work being done by President Trump.  I will give Pence grudging approval and say that based on his strengths, weaknesses and opportunities to grow as Trump’s right-hand man he probably could do it.

One last safeguard for Pence is that if President Trump doesn’t honestly think Pence is the right man to succeed him, he has two chances to correct the problem.  He can choose a different running mate for 2020 and in 2024 if he suddenly objects to Pence, he can recommend someone else for the job.

So, let’s say I give Mike Pence a wavering one thumb up.  Here’s hoping he comes into his own in the second term.

Farage and Trump

President Trump is scheduled to spend four days (June Third through Sixth) in Britain to commemorate the seventy fifth anniversary of D-Day.  Queen Elizabeth will throw a state banquet at which all the parliamentary leaders will attend.  But the real meeting that everyone is interested in is not supposed to happen.  Prime Minister May has uninvited conservative gadfly Nigel Farage to Buckingham Palace and so the only way that the meeting will happen is through Trump’s and Farage’s own organizations setting it up.  How ironic is that?  The two leaders who demonstrably represent the will of the common people of their respective nations have to constantly battle against the elitists in their own parties to achieve any part of the agenda the people have mandated they accomplish.

Nowhere is this clearer than in the refusal of the Tory leadership to honor the Brexit vote.  The people of the United Kingdom voted unequivocally to leave the European Union.  But here we are three years later and nothing has been accomplished.  The Tories under Theresa May’s inept leadership have botched the Brexit effort and at this point the Remainers in their ranks are poised to prevent Brexit, even though it will doom the Tories’ majority in Parliament, leaving the Left to run the country.

But jumping into the fray is Nigel Farage.  He was the moving spirit behind the original Brexit movement but after its passage he dropped out of the public eye.  But three years of dithering by the Tories was too much for him.  Only six weeks before the British EU parliamentary elections he formed a new party called (of course) the Brexit Party and won more seats than the Tories and Labor combined.  Using this victory as a second Brexit vote he is now warning the Tories that if they don’t accomplish Brexit by Halloween, he’ll be waiting for them in the next general election and sweep them and the Labor party out of power.

Theresa May has declared her resignation and there should be a new Tory prime minister by the middle of July.  If it’s Boris Johnson or another Brexiteer it’s possible that Brexit can be accomplished.  Perhaps Farage’s threat will be enough to convince the Remainers that their intransigence will energize the country’s majority to sweep them out of Parliament and give the government over to the Brexit Party.  It’s hard to say.

Either way we see Nigel Farage as an outsider from the business world jumping into the political arena to wrest control of the levers of power away from a supposedly conservative elite that has decided to thwart the will of its constituents in order to cozy up to the very globalist establishment bureaucracy from which Britons voted to escape.  Well, if that’s not essentially Donald Trump with a British accent I don’t know what is.

I think it would be useful to have a meeting between Trump, Farage and Boris Johnson.  Farage and Johnson, if they coordinate their activities can make the Brexit a reality.  Trump can be the facilitator to help convince the British people that the Hard Brexit horror story that the elites have told them is only a fiction.  By highlighting the booming American economy, he can prove to them that managed decline doesn’t have to be the fate of the middle class.

Of course, it’s risky for politicians to be seen getting too cozy with foreign leaders (unless they’re Leftists of course) even if it’s the President of the United States.  But in this particular case I think meeting with Farage will be very good for both Trump and Farage.  Seeing Farage’s stock increase will tend to focus Johnson’s mind on how important it is to get Brexit done.  And indeed, accomplishing Brexit is virtually the only way the Tories have of staying in power.

But personally, what I’d love to hear is what these two men will say to each other when the video cameras and microphones aren’t on.  Both of them have demonstrated that they understand how to reach the middle-class people directly.  And because of that both have been attacked mercilessly by their opponents in the Media and the governing elites of both parties.  I have to imagine they would enjoy just comparing notes and telling war stories.  It would be like two magicians comparing experiences and trading secrets.  Maybe Trump and Farage can reach out to other populist leaders within the anglosphere and beyond (e.g., Italy) and coordinate strategy against the globalists.  They could form a sort of anti-globalist UN.  They could call it the DN, the Disunited Nations.

So let’s hope that Trump’s trip to Britain provides some positive energy for both the American and British Right.  And let’s hope that the new Tory prime minister works with Farage to convince the Remainers to support Brexit (or else).

Trump and Farage point to the peril that threatens our world.  The elites have gamed democracy.  And the only thing that stands in the way of some kind of repressive, decadent, roman empire-like world is a small group of independent businessmen who are defying their own class and providing the middle class with a voice and a champion.  It can’t be reassuring to know that everything we believe in is hanging on the thread of a handful of men.  But let’s pray that our luck holds out long enough to battle back from the edge of the cliff.  And let’s make sure Trump appoints a worthy successor.  After all, unlike Britain where a prime minister can stay in power for decades, an American president only gets eight years at most.

Trump Punishes Mexico With Tariffs Until the Immigration Crisis is Ended

You’ve got to hand it to the President.  He gets right down to brass tacks.

https://www.apnews.com/afec271c5f9c4fdb82f57b48cb593add

Ratcheting it up incrementally from five percent all the way to twenty five is a nice way to persuade the Mexicans that time is of the essence.  Bravo.

 

Facebook De-Platforms Those Who Don’t Toe the Politically Correct Line

This week Facebook banned Milo Yiannopoulos, Alex Jones, Louis Farrakhan, Laura Loomer and Paul Joseph Watson.  Except for Farrakhan, all of these are on the right side of the political spectrum.

President Trump lamented the purge and said he is monitoring the attacks and deplatforming of right wing individuals by Silicon Valley.

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/442095-trump-laments-social-media-getting-worse-for-conservatives

But reviewing this same phenomenon, Tucker Carlson denounces the politicians on the right standing idly by while their constituents are silenced and treated as criminals by the un-elected leaders of the Tech Companies.

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2019/05/04/tucker_carlson_facebooks_zuckerberg_dictating_which_political_opinions_youre_allowed_to_have.html

Tucker makes a very strong case.

Identity Politics and Civic Nationalism – Part 2

Identity Politics and Civic Nationalism – Part 1

At the end of the first part of this post I said I’d look a little more closely at the specifics of the Dissident Right’s logic and compare it to my own way of looking at where we are.

First off let’s acknowledge something that we cannot afford to forget.  The Dissident Right (or Alt-Right if you prefer) was the only group who both knew what was going wrong in this country and weren’t afraid to say it out loud.  They recognized that the Left was in control of all the levers of power and the Establishment Republicans had no intention of changing the results of the Left’s program.

The Dissident Right explained exactly how the schools and colleges proselytized the children and how the Media, the Democrats, Big Business and the Courts twisted every part of society until nothing remains of the normal world of just a few years ago.  And as proven, the Establishment Republicans use the anger this generates to get themselves re-elected.  But once in office they can be depended on to never actually reverse any of this destruction and instead just talk about how dead set they are against whatever the next outrage is.  And when that outrage becomes law they just move along to the next.

And the Dissident Right identified the fact that both Parties and Big Business were determined to use immigration, both legal and illegal, as a means to swamp out the votes of the citizens of the United States as a way to eliminate all resistance to their agenda.  It was plain during the 2016 election that none of the Republicans, no matter how “conservative” he was, would say a word against illegal immigration for fear of being called a racist.

And the Dissident Right was the only group that supported Trump.  Everyone else either said he was a joke or abhorred him for being a vulgarian.

So, as I said above, ignoring the Dissident Right means ignoring the only group that knew how we were losing the Country to the Left and how we could stop them from doing it.  Clearly what they say has to be carefully considered.

But you might say, why not just jump on their band wagon?  For me, that is a disturbing choice.  The Dissident Right is comprised of people who believe that differences in race and even ethnicity prevent a heterogeneous state like the present United States from living in harmony.  They believe that the future will be a fractious hodge-podge of identity groups that, led by the trouble-makers on the Left, will spend all their time pursuing imaginary grievances against the European Americans that they’ve been told are holding them back from being happy.

The Dissident Right points to affirmative action discrimination and the destruction of the family and the LGBTQ lawfare warriors and de-platforming of people on the right and say we are already there and that once we are a majority-minority-nation, things will only get much worse.

Accepting this hypothesis as true is not something I would do unless forced by irrefutable evidence.  But having it espoused by people who have been right about things that the majority were wrong about means I have to find reasonable arguments for why the Dissident Right is mistaken in their conclusions.

Instead of going through a bunch of cases and subsets of categories I’ll sum up the problem we’re experiencing by saying that in the 1960s when the economy was very strong the leaders of the Democrat party saw that they no longer had an unbeatable coalition of disaffected voters like they had in the 1930s and 1940s.  They decided to follow the Marxist playbook and weaken their enemies by sowing as much division as they could.  They espoused abortion as a way to destroy the family and they sponsored all the grievance movements to further fracture the country.  They infested the schools and steadily eroded intellectual life until even the sciences were politicized and distracted from their primary functions.  And they enshrined massive immigration both legal and illegal.

But even when all this was going on it was still possible for a conservative leader like Ronald Reagan to rally the Right.  And when that happened, the country was able to see itself as one people.  It was only when we were led by people who believed in the propaganda of the Left that everything has fallen completely apart.  Basically, since 1988 (thirty years) we have been living under the rule of the Left and their Globalist Echoes on the Fake Right.  Bush Senior, Clinton, Bush Junior and Obama allowed every outrage of the Left to happen to us with either enthusiasm or feigned reluctance.

This track record is why I think that the Dissident Right may be mistaken in the irreversibility of the changes we are experiencing.  In just two years President Trump has installed a whole generation of federal judges who will begin the process of reversing the damage done by the rogue judiciary.  Without Justice Kennedy it’s possible that the SCOTUS will reverse the decisions that found a constitutional mandate for abortion and gay marriage and affirmative action.  Those types of actions would change the world we live in.  Once those injustices are addressed people would see the world much differently.

The final thing that I need to address is the Race Realism that the Dissident Right says will prevent the United States from existing in harmony.  They claim that both differences in behavior and feelings of separateness will forever keep different races and ethnicities from living peacefully together.  My experience with diversity is a product of growing up and living in New York City in the 1960s, 70s and 80s.  Believe me when I tell you that things were very far from harmonious in the “glorious mosaic” that existed in that era.  There was a separate neighborhood every ten to fifteen blocks and mostly the ethnic and racial groups didn’t happily mingle or even interact.  There were riots and even several large areas of the city burned down.  Crime was rampant and the subways were very dangerous as were the parks and other empty areas.  Of course, the Democrats were always stoking the unrest with grievance propaganda.  But then I remember what happened when the city finally had had enough and elected a law and order Republican, Rudy Giuliani.  It got better!  And indeed, the people of all races and ethnicities felt more united and less angry when a sensible government started enforcing the law and holding everyone accountable.

I won’t claim that there aren’t differences between people.  In fact, I’ll go one step further and says we’re all different from each other.  Every family has a smarter kid and a tougher kid and a kid who doesn’t follow the rules.  But if one kid does better in school you can’t hold him back to make the less smart kid feel better about himself.  And as every parent knows, the best way to keep the peace in a family is to come up with reasonable rules and make sure that everyone follows them.  It’s only when you see someone else getting away with something, you’re not allowed to that trouble begins.

So, this is getting overly long.  My way of thinking about this is that if we can elect non-leftists who want to restore normalcy to the country, we can do it.  Maybe it won’t happen.  But just saying it’s impossible doesn’t appeal to me, at least not yet.  President Trump has given me hope that it can be done.  Let’s see if he can do it before we throw in the towel.

Identity Politics and Civic Nationalism – Part 1

One of the most troubling aspects of the America we now live in is the racial animosity exhibited almost universally across the whole spectrum of political ideologies.  Of course, the Marxists and their descendants, the Progressives, have perfected it into a weapon that they use to inflame hatred against Americans of European Descent or as we used to call them Americans.  But the fallout of this multi-generational strategy is that their opponents, especially on the very farthest edges of the Right Wing are learning to use this same tactic in reverse.  A whole generation of Alt-Right and Dissident Right ideologues are focusing on racial identity politics and the tactics of racial polarization to the exclusion of almost anything else.  In fact, this idea that racial identity will trump all other ways of uniting and dividing people has actually made headway among formerly “color-blind” conservatives.  My read on this is that rather than any effective proselytizing by the Dissident Right, the real catalyst for this transformation was the racial animus and partisanship demonstrated by the Obama Administration during the Black Lives Matter and other teachable moments that our “Dear Leader” talked down to us about.

In that sense I somewhat understand the depth of the hatred that has developed along the racial divide.  The behavior by the Justice Department in fueling these fake police incidents was outrageous and did enormous harm by throwing fuel on the already hot flashpoints that exist in the crime ridden ghettos where the police are just about all that stands between poor people and the law of the jungle.

But what it has turned into on the Dissident Right is a conviction that civic life and law and order cannot transcend differences between people of different races and ethnicities.  The more thoughtful voices in that community do not contend that we are headed for some kind of civil war or balkanization of the United States.  They talk more about individual states ignoring laws that they do not agree with and going their own way on these things.  In fact, this is not that different from what California and some other places have already done on immigration law with their so-called sanctuary cities.

What this all amounts to is the Dissident Right declaring that the Progressives have outmaneuvered the Right by increasing legal and illegal immigration to the point that they will have a permanent dominance over electoral power and will use it to create a permanent grievance machine to disenfranchise Americans of European Descent by punitive means such as affirmative action and other discriminatory policies.

Are they right?

I prefer to think that they’re not.  My read on this is that the situation has been exacerbated by Republican “leaders” who actually seem to buy into the fairness of minority identity politics out of some kind of ancestral guilt or because they see electoral advantage in joining the progressives.  The proof of this can be seen in the success of a civic nationalist like Trump who isn’t guilted into kowtowing to illegal immigration out of fear of being called a racist.  Once you disarm the Progressives of that weapon you find out that the majority of Americans, even in Blue States, want immigration laws to be obeyed.

I contend if the Right forcefully advocates for full enforcement of immigration laws and the elimination of reverse discrimination policies by the government and other entities, it will go a long way toward lowering tensions between the various groups living in the United States and will allow people to start thinking of each other as neighbors and not potential enemies.

Am I right?  I can’t claim I’m sure.  I think the next few years will be indicative of whether the Dissident Right is correct or whether there’s still time to fix the mess we’re in.  And believe me, I don’t minimize how bad things have become.  On the worst days, I shake my head and look at maps to see where I can move to that will allow me to stave off the worst of it for a little longer.

In the second part of this I’ll look a little more closely at the specifics of the Dissident Right’s logic and compare it to my own way of looking at where we are.

Identity Politics and Civic Nationalism – Part 2

William Barr and the Deplorables

William Barr has lived his whole life as part of the elite.  From the day he was born his family has ensured that he went to the best schools and was considered for career opportunities in government and corporate circles that no one but the rich and highly connected are ever considered for.

Probably the only things I’ll say about William Barr that strike me as promising are that he worked in the Reagan White House and he considered Roe v Wade as an unconstitutional decision.  And if you happen to hate music you may be cheered by the fact that he is an avid bagpiper.

My only point to this description is that William Barr doesn’t scream deplorable to me.  In recent posts I’ve stated that only time will tell whether he is an honest public servant or a firewall meant to close out the Mueller investigation without any chance for payback.

His recent statements to Congress describing the Russia-gate strategy as the Obama administration “spying” on the Trump campaign have touched off a firestorm among Democrats.  But reviewing his statements they are actually pretty bland in their sizing up of the FBI’s behavior.  They in no way inspire me to think that Barr is out for blood from the conspirators.

So, when a friend of mine came up to me on Wednesday and started smiling and asking me whether I had seen Barr’s testimony I was truly surprised.  This friend of mine is, to say the least, a pessimist when it comes to the Trump Administration in general and who specifically is convinced that in the DOJ, the fix is always in.  But that day he was bubbling with enthusiasm and pretty convinced that Barr is getting ready to nail some FBI hides to the barn door.  Now, why would this be?  Does he know something I don’t?  It doesn’t seem so.

Thinking about this encounter afterwards, I couldn’t decide whether he was over enthusiastic or I was too cautious.  But even if all this means nothing in terms of the substance of what Barr will do, I think it says something important about the bigger picture among the Deplorables.  I think they are starting to believe they can win.  I think they are starting to realize that President Trump can win re-election and the Right may get another shot at cleaning up the mess we are in.  But mostly I think they are thinking that some of the Swamp Dwellers may be going to prison.  They really, really like the sound of that.  That was the single most important result that my friend took out of Barr’s statement.  He thought that Barr was telegraphing his intention to punish the Comeys and the Clappers of the world.  And he always returned at the end to his greatest hope that somehow it would go back all the way up the line to Obama.  It almost sounded like a prayer.

Well.

So now I’m the pessimist.  I don’t think for a minute that Obama will ever even have to talk to a prosecutor or even a Congressional Panel on this sort of thing.  If Barr ever demonstrates that he’s serious about punishing the Russia-gate crew I would hope that he’d go after the low hanging fruit first and scoop up McCabe, Comey and Clapper.  They’ve been so careless in their statements and actions that a blind man could follow that trail of bread crumbs back to their feet.  And squeezing them would be the surest way to go after the bigger fish like Mueller and Loretta Lynch.

And I have no proof that Barr will ever do anything.  I wouldn’t bet a dollar on anything ever coming out of the AG’s investigations.  I have a total wait and see attitude.

But I will say that the fact that the Deplorables are getting enthusiastic, in and of itself, is a positive development.  And that development leads me to predict that better days are definitely here and that as these things usually go, we can expect even more good news in the short to medium range.  Why, it wouldn’t surprise me to hear that some piece of bad news will be popping up about one or the other of the Left’s favorites.  Something like the Joe Biden comedy last week, only bigger and more hilarious.

So, there’s my reading of the entrails or the tea leaves or whatever your favorite fortune telling substrate happens to be.  Happy days are here again.  Go forth and rejoice.  I so decree.

Oh, on a side note I did read that Barr’s father did write a couple of science fiction books.  I’ll add a teaspoon of weight in his son’s favor just because that does indicate a tiny possibility of common humanity in there somewhere.  Maybe I’ll even read them to see if he’s any good.

Trump vs It’s a Good Life (Part 2)

Trump vs It’s a Good Life (Part 1)

 

Dramatis Personae: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – (AOC); Narrator who looks and sounds like Rod Serling – (NRS); Barack Obama – (BO); Michelle Obama – (MO); Bill Clinton – (BC); Hillary Clinton – (HC); President Trump – (PT);

 

Scene 1 – 8 pm, that same night in the Farmhouse; In the corner of the room, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Bernie Sanders and Beto O’Rourke are sweating away, turning a giant crank on a generator.  In the opposite corner A-oh-see, Cory Booker, Hillary Clinton and the Obamas are dancing rather spastically around a disco ball while a wavering light and an unevenly playing sound system produces some unconvincing techno sound.  As the exhausted laborers slacken their effort, A-oh-see chastises them.

AOC – Hey white boys, pick up the pace.  This is the part where I go, whoot, whoot.  Don’t make me warn you again.

The generator crew redouble their efforts and the “whoot, whoot” is a big success.  The dancers clap enthusiastically and the crankers collapse to the floor panting.

AOC – The dance is over and that’s all the electricity there is.

MO – That was good electricity A-oh-see, real good.

BO – That was the best electricity I ever seen.  Much better than that power plant electricity.

NP – Oh, I don’t know, I remember back in the Obama administration we had lights all the time and copy machines and air conditioning.

HC – It’s real good that you said that Nancy but how could you mean it?  Why, A-oh-see’s electricity is much better than that old electricity.  That old electricity made global warming and killed baby polar bears.

BO – That’s right Nancy, A-oh-see’s electricity is real good.  Much better.

MO – And now it’s time for Bill Clinton’s birthday presents.  Everybody gather around.

Hillary hands Bill a bag full of fentanyl patches and a plain brown envelope.

HC – Happy birthday Bill.  Many happy returns.

BC – (looking in the envelope) The Pia Zadora Playboy issue!  This is a priceless object.  He you don’t suppose I could open it up here?

Everyone goes quiet and looks shocked.

BC – Not the pictures just the articles.

BO – I don’t think you should Bill.  We don’t know exactly where the articles end and the porn begins.

HC – That’s right Bill.  Wait until we get home, where it’s safe.  Here, try out the fentanyl patch.

BC – Mmmmmmmmm.

BO – Okay everybody, birthday presents over.  Now we’ll hear a speech by Caitlyn Jenner on the false social construct inherent in the ovary.

While everyone sits in rapt fear of not cheering at the right places Bill Clinton wanders around in a fentanyl stupor.  Suddenly he starts talking out loud to no one in particular.

BC – You know this is the last fentanyl stash left.  And once it’s gone and Al Gore’s oxycontin bottle is empty there won’t be any joy left in the world.  No more giggling, no more Ruffies.

Looking around and glaring at Bill AOC shouts.

AOC – Stop talking during the science lesson.

Bill smiles goofily and gives AOC a salute and she turns back to the lecture.  Bill opens up his Playboy magazine and with the centerfold flapped open approaches Caitlyn Jenner.

BC – You know Bruce, I mean Caitlyn, I don’t think yours can compare to Pia’s what do you think?

AOC jumps to her feet and shouts at Bill Clinton.

AOC – You’re a bad white man, a very bad white man and if you keep acting all patriarchal, I’m going to think bad things about you.

BC – That’s right A-oh-see you think bad things about me.  You concentrate on me and maybe some real man in this room will sneak up behind you and slap a half dozen fentanyl patches between your shoulder blades and end this thing.

Nancy Pelosi picks up her speaker’s gavel off the table where it lies but then puts it back.

AOC – You’re a bad white man, a very bad white man and you keep looking down my blouse.

AOC walks over to Bill Clinton and slaps four fentanyl patches on Bill’s face.  Bill starts pulling one off, then smiles goofily and puts it back on.  Then he falls face forward like a chopped tree.

BO – A-oh-see put him in the mulch pile please.  Please.

She nods her head slightly and a group of Bernie Bros picked up Clinton and hustled him out of the room.

AOC – He was a bad white mand and I used his non-socialized medicine to destroy him.  And you better not say anything bad about me Hillary or I’ll get you too.

HC – Oh, A-oh-see, I don’t feel bad about Bill.  He got what was coming to him.  No sweat.  We all love you A-oh-see, you’re everybody’s favorite, that’s what you are.

 

NRS – So that’s our story, no commentary just an introduction to one of the very special members of the Bizarro Zone.

Suddenly President Trump busts in from in front of the narrator and we realize that the whole scene is taking place in a sound stage.

PT – Alright that’s enough.  Officers, arrest these idiots and we’ll straighten everything out at the jail.

AOC – You’re not real.  I destroyed you along with the rest of the world a year ago.

PT – Look, you, fruitcake.  When you losers were swept out of power in 2020, I didn’t balk when MTV sponsored a reality show to let your deluded followers imagine what it would be like without the normal people but when Bill Clinton ends up as an OD victim at Bethesda that’s where I pull the plug on this thing.  We’ll transition most of you into a hospital for the criminally insane but for now we’ll set you up at Guantanamo Bay until you become less dangerous.  Okay boys drag them out.

Trump vs It’s a Good Life (Part 1)

Dramatis Personae: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – (AOC); Nancy Pelosi (NP); Al Gore – (AG); Narrator who looks and sounds like Rod Serling – (NRS); Barack Obama – (BO); Michelle Obama – (MO);

 

Scene 1- Unknown Office building; 8 pm Mid-July

A narrator, who looks and sounds a hell of a lot like Rod Serling circa 1961, is standing in front of a map of the United States

NRS – Tonight’s cautionary tale is most unusual and requires that we imagine the following.  Here behind me is a map of the United States.  But what if suddenly it disappeared (whole map goes dark except one point of light) and all that was left was a tiny dot called Washington D.C.?  Now imagine that within this tiny world there was no longer radio, television, the internet, telephones, gas engines or even electricity.  And assume that the only thing that farmers were allowed to grow was vegetables.  No beef, pork, chicken or fish.  And finally imagine that even wishing for any of these things was now a death sentence executed by a monster.  If you can imagine all that you’ve just entered the Bizarro Zone (well I couldn’t use the real name).

Scene 2 – A ramshackle farm building with peeling paint and a wooden porch with a porch swing with an old haggard woman fanning herself with a piece of paper.

NRS – And here is the lair of the monster, a farmhouse with all the misery of pre-industrial life on display.  Over there in the swing on the porch is Aunt Nancy Pelosi, she once had the most influence over the monster but one time she hinted that maybe eliminating all private jets wouldn’t be a “good thing” and she was reduced to the cracked-brain non-gavel wielding hag you see before you.

NP – Hey not so much of the hag thing.  I just got another facelift and I’m a damn good-looking babe, you male chauvinist pig.

NRS – As I was saying, the monster does not like to be contradicted.  Oh, and I’ve forgotten to introduce the monster.  She’s a bug-eyed petulant millennial Latina from the Bronx who can’t even spell climatology but don’t be fooled.  There’s a nasty mean streak behind that googly eyed expression and what passes for a brain is completely in charge of her surroundings.  Meet Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or as she’s known to her fawning minions A-oh-see. (swift view change to show AOC trying to get something unstuck from between her horse teeth with her pinky nail, then noticing the camera and glaring in a cross-eyed scowl.

Scene 3 – Same farmhouse from the viewpoint facing the road.  An overweight man (Al Gore) on a delivery bicycle is straining along the driveway to the house.  On the ground in front of the house A-oh-see is playing in the dust.  He pulls up in front of her.

AG – Hi, there A-oh-see.  My it’s good to see you today.  Whatcha doing there?  Whatever it is it’s sure good, but I was just wondering what you were doing there.

AOC – I was figuring out how many white men it takes to pull a wagon for ten women of color in the next Cinco de Mayo parade.

AG – Oh, that’s a real good thing.  Why I never knew so much good figuring going on as you sure can do.

AOC – Yeah, go away now, you’re starting to make me mad.

(Gore quickly scurries away toward the house.  He carries some boxes into the kitchen and addresses Michelle Obama who is shucking corn in the sink)

AG – Hello Mrs. Obama, it’s certainly a good day today and we all just love A-oh-see so much, that’s right, she was out there figuring and figuring and it was just great.

MO – Hello Al.  Yeah, it’s certainly a great day all right and we’re real happy here, we are.

AG – I brought you some things for the party tonight.  I’ve got corn flour and whole wheat flour and baking soda.

MO – Have you got any white flour for the cake?

AG – Oh, we don’t have any more of that.  Not since A-oh-see explained to us just how evil white is.  No, we don’t want none of that, we don’t.  I mean we used to think it was useful but it’s real good that A-oh-see set us straight on that.  Well not straight, we don’t say straight no more we don’t, no sir, I mean no ma’am, Ma’am.

MO – Yeah, it’s funny how you forget how things used to be when you could just say something without being afraid.

AG – Oh, it’s good that you said that but I don’t think you mean it because it’s much better now that we don’t say anything that A-oh-see says is bad.  It’s real, good.

MO – That’s right, it’s real, good.  But last week when she was denouncing honey because it was stolen from bees, she got so excited from screaming that her eyes were extra bulged out and I thought maybe her blood pressure might be reaching maybe five hundred or something, mumble, mumble, mumble…

(Al Gore looking panicky and grabbing his box and heading for the door)

AG – I better be getting on, but can you let A-oh-see know that I got her corn flour that she likes so much?  Can you tell her it was me who got it specially for her?

MO – I sure will Al.  But don’t worry she hates you much less than most other white men.

Scene 4 – Same farmhouse, upstairs where Barack Obama is putting on his tie for the party.  He looks in the mirror and sees A-oh-see staring at him in her friendliest cross-eyed frown.

BO – Oh, hi there, A-oh-see.  It’s good that you were standing behind so quiet like.

AOC – None of the other congress persons came to play with me today.  I wanted congress persons to play with today.

BO – Yes, it’s good that you wanted them to come but last time you denounced Debbie Wasserman Schultz to the Congressional Black Caucus as a Zionist collaborator and they shaved her head and painted it red.  Folks were awful upset about that.

AOC – But I want to play with other congress persons.

BO – Tell you what, we’ll invite some of the rinos.  They’ll be so grateful just for being asked that they’ll come even if you do denounce them.  they’re used to it anyway.  Anyway, A-oh-see everybody loves you.  You’re everybody’s favorite.

AOC – But I remember one time that somebody thought bad things about me.  I can’t remember who it was.  Who was that?

BO – Oh, that was Joe Crowley, after you beat him in the primary.  He said you weren’t qualified.  But don’t worry, Michelle had the FBI and the IRS defenestrate him so he won’t bother you anymore.

AOC – That’s right Joe Crowley, he was a bad white man, a very bad white man.  I hate anybody who doesn’t do what I want.

BO – But everybody loves you A-oh-see, you’re everybody’s favorite.  Now come on, let’s get ready for the party.

 

To be continued …