The Absolutely Final, Last Stand of the Losers, 2020 Democratic Kamikaze Debate

Dramatis Personae: Bernie Sanders (BP); Joe Biden (JB); Elizabeth Warren (EW); Amy Klobuchar (AK); Mike Bloomberg (MB); Mystery Candidate (MC); Christiane Amanpour (CA); Rudy Giuliani (RG); Joy Reid (JR); Anderson Cooper (AC); Rachel Maddow (RM);

 

(Scene 1: Inside the media booth at the final Democratic Debate in San Francisco)

 

CA – Hello, I’m Christiane Amanpour with my interesting British accent, and we’re here at the final 2020 Democratic Presidential Debate in beautiful San Francisco, California.

RG – Beautiful?  You call trying to navigate around a sidewalk festooned with human feces and vomit beautiful?  Christiane, that’s some weird alternate reality you live in.

CA – And as you can see and hear, I’m joined by the always cantankerous, former Mayor of New York and current attorney for President Trump, Rudy Giuliani.

RG – I can live with cantankerous.

CA – And we’ll be here to see who will step up and try to knock Bernie Sanders off his trajectory of winning the Democratic Presidential Nomination.

RG – Actually I’m here for the laughs.  These losers are trying to stop the Crazy Party from nominating the King of the Lunatics.  That seems to be an impossibility.

CA – Despite Rudy’s penchant for Right Wing propaganda, it will be interesting to see if the more moderate candidates attempt to make an issue of Bernie Sanders flirtation with socialism.

RG – Flirtation?  I would say that it was consummated to use a polite word.  To continue your analogy, if this were seventy years ago, we’d be seeing a shotgun wedding between Bernie and Communism.

CA – Well, enough of this banter.  Let’s go to the debate stage.  The seven candidates are now advancing to their podiums and the moderators are seated.  We have CNN’s Anderson Cooper and MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Joy Reid.

RG – Ah yes, the voices of reason.  Where did I put my barf bag?

 

(Scene 2: Wide shot of the moderators and candidates on the debate stage)

 

JR – I’m Joy Reid and welcome to the audience here at the Palace of Fine Arts here in vibrant San Francisco.

(A voice from the audience gives a loud bitter laugh and an epithet.  A struggle is seen in the audience and a man is tased and carried away.)

JR – Spirits are high and let’s meet our panel and the candidates.  I’m joined by my colleagues Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper who know in their hearts that that wasn’t me who allegedly said those homophobic remarks all those years ago because that is not who I am.

(Maddow and Cooper glare at her over rigid smiles.)

JR – And here are the 2020 Democratic Presidential Candidates.  In decreasing order of electoral relevance, Senator Bernie Sanders, the socialist democrat from Vermont; Mayor Mike Bloomberg of New York City; Vice President Joe Biden of Delaware; Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend Indiana; Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts; Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota; Billionaire Tom Steyer of San Francisco California.  Welcome all of you or Zae, Zee, Zi, Zo, Zou and sometimes Zy.

(The candidates look confused and mumble some replies.)

RM – Hey wait a minute, that’s not Tom Steyer there at the loser end of the podium.  It’s a masked intruder in an ill-fitting white pantsuit!

MC – That’s right Rachel Maddow, I am the “mystery candidate” and Tom Steyer has voluntarily surrendered his place on the stage and his billion-dollar fortune to me in my run for the presidency.

AC – But that’s nonsense.  This is the end of the campaign and there’s no way that can be justified under the rules of the debate or the DNC campaign requirements.

BP – Wanna bet Anderson?  How do you think they justified screwing me out of the nomination last time?

RM – Alright but why the mask?  You’re obviously Hillary Clinton and you’re not fooling anyone.

MC – That’s ridiculous!  Hillary Clinton is so beloved by the people that she would never disguise herself.  It would be throwing away her natural advantage.

RM – If that’s so how come you lost the last two times you ran.

MC – That’s a damn lie.  The Russians stole the election from me.  … I mean from her.

JR – Alright, whatever, we don’t have all night let’s move on and get this show on the road.

AC – The first question will be answered by all the candidates.  Why do you want to be President of the United States of America?  Senator Sanders?

BS – I wanna say that when I am President the first order of business will be to make the minimum wage $500 dollars an hour.  That way all Americans will be earning a million dollars a year.  Then I will make the tax on the million-dollar bracket 100%.  That will flood the treasury with cash and balance the budget.  I would seize all businesses and nationalize them and all profits would be divided equally by all the people.  And finally, I would declare all humans and some primates American citizens and allow them all to enjoy the fruits of this land.  To each according to his needs and from each according to his abilities.

RM – Hey that’s misogynist!  You should have said her or at least their.

BS – Yes, that’s what I should have said.  But, I am very old, you know.

MB – Hey can I say something in rebuttal?

AC – Well Mayor Bloomberg, it’s your turn to answer the question.  If you want to discuss Senator Sander’s answer feel free.

MB- Thanks.  Bernie Sanders is a dangerous lunatic.  What he just laid out was a delusional plan that would bankrupt the country and collapse the financial system of the entire planet.  I can’t actually calculate how bad it would be but I guess that tens of millions would starve in the first few months and the urban areas would devolve into cannibalism within the first year.  Shortly after that the Chinese would invade and occupy the more desirable farming and mining areas and allow the rest to revert to primitive tribalism.

BS – This bloated plutocrat is lying.  He has grown fat on the forced labor of the lumpen proletariat.

MB – Hey looks who’s talking about bloated and fat.  I keep my weight at a very optimal point and you look pretty flabby to me Mr. Millionaire Communist.

BS – Liar, I’m a Democratic Socialist!  And a millionaire isn’t a billionaire like you!

MB – Socialist, Communist.  Potato, pattata.

AC – Well Mayor Bloomberg, you’ve critiqued your opponent’s plan.  What is you reason for running?

MB – I see the most urgent threat that America is faced with is what to do about the “Big Gulp.”  Are you aware that the fifty-ounce beverage is killing more Americans each year than cancer and opioids combined?  And also, the average American butt size has increased by eleven inches over the last twenty years.  I am on a crusade to bring health and longevity to the people of this great country.  Once my War on gulps is victorious, I intend to go after the Big Mac, the Whopper and, God willing, the all you can eat Lobster Fest at Red Lobster.

AC – Well I see what you mean about butt size.  It’s a pet peeve of mine too.  Well Mr. Vice President, it’s your turn.

JB – You know when I was the right-hand man of a certain clean articulate President named Barack Obama, I suppose you remember him, he said to me, he said, “Joe, old friend, what can be done to stop the Big Gulp?”  Well I drew up a plan and pushed through the legislation in record time and that’s how we defeated the Big Gulp.

MB – That never happened.

JB – Listen you lying, dog-faced pony soldier, why don’t we have a push up contest or go out behind the barn and decide this the old-fashioned way with chains and straight razors.

AC – Please Mr. Vice President, try to stay on track.

JB – Well as I was saying, back last year when I was Vice President, I set up the program that made the minimum wage $500 an hour and that’s how we ended poverty in our lifetime.

(Stunned silence descends on the stage and crowd.)

AC – While the former Vice President is being escorted to the emergency room for treatment, can you tell us your reason for being President, Mayor Buttigieg.

PB – Thank you Anderson, we all acknowledge the terrible struggle you’ve endured at the hands of the rampant homophobia that is America’s scourge.  I too have tasted the whiplash sting of its cruelty.

AC – Ahhhh?  You do know I’m a Vanderbilt and have hundreds of millions of dollars, right?

PB – No amount of wealth can make up for the whiplash sting of cruelty.

AC – Sure, but it really helps, don’t you think?

PB – Well, maybe.  Anyway, my priority will be ensuring that every American child knows the name and correct pronunciation for the names of all the Latin American dictators, uhhh … I mean leaders in our hemisphere.

AK – Screw you, you little jerk.

AC – Please Senator Klobuchar, your turn isn’t next.

AK – He sucks!

PB – Homophobe!

AK – Ahhh, grow a pair you little weasel!

AC – Please, please!  Let’s get back to business.  Senator Warren it’s your turn.

EW – Thank you Anderson.  One of the most important parts of my candidacy is bringing a woman’s perspective to the presidency.  Women are the practical money handlers in their families.  We know how to avoid debt and live within our means.  Looking at Senator Sanders’ ridiculous proposal it doesn’t take a CPA to see that a $500 an hour minimum wage is insanity.  The fact that he doesn’t recognize its absurdity is proof of his unfitness to be President.  Applying a real-world perspective along with a woman’s social justice instincts points to a minimum wage that is absolutely no higher than $450 an hour.

MB – Is it too late for me to get a MAGA hat?

AC – Alright let’s hang in there for a few more minutes. This thing is almost over.  Senator Klobuchar have you got some brief comments you’d like to make.

AK – You betcha.  I can’t win this thing.  I’m too close to normal.  What I would like to do is throw something at that little weasel Buttigieg.  If someone will just hold him for a second, I’ll kick his skinny little butt.

AC – Security please escort Senator Klobuchar from the stage and get Mayor Pete some smelling salts.  Alright, “Mystery Candidate,” would you like a shot at the question?

MC – I’d be delighted Anderson.  For all of my life I’ve strived to educate the American people about their unworthiness and what they needed to do to atone for their sins.  And at the top of that list is making me their President.  I’ve suffered as no other woman ever has.  I’ve been ridiculed for my looks, my weight, my voice, my husband’s womanizing and for the very large number of coincidental suicides that seem to occur all around me.  I want to be President so that all this persecution will end.  I will set up a Presidential tribunal that will adjudicate all these capitol offenses fairly and once these people have been brought to justice, I intend to eliminate the 22nd amendment by executive order and give the United States the permanent and hereditary leadership it has always deserved.

AC – Okay, I think my colleagues will agree to skip their questioning so that we can escape before the voters storm this building and drag us off to Alcatraz for summary execution.  I apologize heartily to the American people and promise to find a real job where I can atone for my connection to this lunatic asylum.

(Scene 3: Inside the media booth)

RG – Well there you have it.  Christiane Amanpour has fled the building with Joe Biden in hot pursuit trying to grab her shoulders and smell her hair.  I haven’t had such a good time since the Yankees won the World Series from the Mets in 2000.  Well anyway, it doesn’t look like there’ll be much drama in November but I suppose that’s best for the country.  But I hope you’ve enjoyed the show.  Sorry it couldn’t have gone longer but these people really do need to get back to the hospital.  Good night and Keep America Great in November.

Mourning Morning Shmoe

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.  I’ll post one section a day but if you want to read ahead or start at the beginning I have the links at the bottom and top of each post to the previous and next installments.  This one began back in March 2018.

Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi

 

Dramatis Personae: Morning Shmoe – (MS);  Lycra Spandexy – (LS);  Producer Jorge – (PJ);  President Trump – (PT)

Scene 1- 8am, MSNBC, Set of the Morning Shmoe talk show; the set is festooned with black streamers, in the center of the breakfast table is a poster sized photo of a morbidly obese pug dog;  

MS – Welcome solemnly back from that tasteful adult diaper commercial break and it’s the saddest two minutes after the quarter hour I’ve ever experienced here at the Morning Shmoe Show.  I’m your co-host Morning Shmoe Browfurrowed and here’s our co-host the lovely but deeply bereaved Lycra Spandexy.

LS – Yes, that’s right Shmoe.  Very, very lovely and deeply, deeply bereaved.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – Lycra, maybe for the sake of any of the at-home audience who were in comas yesterday and didn’t hear the earth shattering events you could relate a synopsis of events leading up to this sad, sad day.

LS – No, Shmoe.  Anyone too stupid or callous to educate himself to the scope and details of yesterday’s global catastrophe cannot be helped and must be allowed to perish from the earth, or at least be shadow-banned from Twitter.  But I will say this, Mr. Toodles’ abduction, brutal murder and cannibalization is laid squarely at the feet of Donald Trump.

MS – Yes, absolutely.  Trump’s support for the unnamed perpetrator (a rogue leader of an unnamed  country with the initials NK) was what enabled this heinous crime.  Any sensible President would answer this unspeakable provocation with a measured, proportionate response, namely, the total thermonuclear annihilation of North Korea, err, I mean NK.

LS – Yes Shmoe, that seems just.  Even merciful if you consider it the right way.

MS – And by the right way you mean the left way.  A truly progressive world view recognizes that the brutal murder of even one somewhat plus-sized American pug dog must be the moral equivalent of incinerating fifty million East Asian people who engage in dog eating.

LS – That’s right Shmoe, very, very equivalent.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – Oh for! … … … … …………………. Anyway, anyway we are demanding that Donald Trump immediately call off the peace process with NK and proceed directly to a full nuclear launch.

LS – Yes, warmonger Trump, do what you want to do anyway go directly to Def Jam 4.

MS – That’s DEFCON 1.

LS – Well, whatever channel it is on your remote go to it and start bombing those dog eaters.  And I hear South Korea and China are also dog eaters so nuke them too.

MS – Uhhh, maybe we should slow down a minute.  China is not only one of the larger nuclear powers with a population of over a billion people, it also makes most of the stuff we live on.

LS – Really Shmoe, really?  Is that all you care about Mr. Toodles?  I mean, just because there is a small chance that you will get nuked, you let dog eaters roam the earth free, chowing down on chow-chows as the mood strikes them?

MS – Hey, just wait a second.  I go along with almost all of your nutty crap day in and day out.  Cut me a little slack when I don’t want to go beyond the partial annihilation of the planet over one dog.

LS – One dog?  Mr. Toodles?  After all he did for you?  Do I even know you at all?

(as a staccato exchange of bickering breaks out between the married co-hosts, Producer Jorge, interrupts)

PJ – Lycra, Shmoe.  I hate to interrupt but we have Donald Trump on line one.

LS – Put him through!  I want to tell him what I really think of him.

PT – Hello Shmoe and Lycra.  I see you’re engaging in your usual nutbaggery.

LS – Go to hell Trump.  We won’t let you divide us.

MS – Exactly!

LS – Exactly!

MS – (audibly grinds his teeth but shakes it off and continues) What do you want Trump?

PT – I called up to broker a peace treaty between the two of you and my friend Kim Jong Un.

LS – (starts screaming incoherently then yells) Monster, murderer!  You are responsible for the murder of Mr. Toodles.

PT – Calm yourself Lycra Spandexy, at your advanced age a stroke is always a concern.

LS – (once again starts screaming incoherently then yells) I am not old!  I am young and beautiful and in the prime of my life as a powerful, talented and desirable woman.

PT – Sure, sure, whatever, now listen.  Kim Jong Un called me up last night and told me all about the joke he pulled on you two.  It’s not widely known but he has a very wry sense of humor.  He took your morbidly obese and pop-eyed canine and brought him along on his flight back to Pyongyang.  The dog is well, or as well as he was when taken, and will be returned to you unharmed in return for an apology.

LS – I’ll never apologize to that monster.

PT – Oh it’s worse than that.  You have to apologize to me.

MS – What?  Why would we apologize to you?

PT – Well you see, Kim thinks it’s beneath his dignity to negotiate with a leader whose own people hold in such low esteem that they insult him publicly.  So, he is insisting that you two be made an example and forced to perform the equivalent of a North Korean show trial where you denounce yourselves through a long list of your thought and deed crimes.  He reluctantly agreed that you didn’t have to end off by being summarily executed with a bullet through the brain paid for by your families.

MS – We’ll never do it.

PT – That’s your choice but the dog is still in North Korea and he is about oven-stuffer size.  And the Korean Festival of the Garlic and Ginseng Stuffed Dog does begin next week.

LS – Don’t say no, Shmoe!  We must save Mr. Toodles no matter the cost.

MS – Very well, you villain.  We’ll do it.  What must we say.

PT – Oh, don’t rush me.  I’ll get back to you when I’ve got the script finished.  I’ll just let Kim know it’s a deal and we’ll set up the broadcast in a day or so.  And believe me when I say that what you’ll have to say will bring tears to those leftist blue state eyes of yours.  Till then rejoice.  Your pop-eyed pooch was dead but now is alive again.  Trump out.

Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.  I’ll post one section a day but if you want to read ahead or start at the beginning I have the links at the bottom and top of each post to the previous and next installments.  This one began back in March 2018.

Trump vs Kim Jong Un and the Shanghai Noon

Dramatis Personae: Morning Shmoe – (MS);  Lycra Spandexy – (LS);   President Trump – (PT); Kim Jong Un (KJU)

Scene 1- 8am, MSNBC, Set of the Morning Shmoe talk show;  

MS – Welcome back from that commercial break and it’s the cube root of 27 minutes after the hour and we’re here at the set of the Morning Shmoe Show.  And Lycra Spandexy and I were just saying how we’ve never been more in love or more sure that Donald Trump’s presidency is seconds away from imploding before our eyes.

LS – Yes, that’s right Shmoe, very, very in love and very, very close to imploding.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – And continuing on our discussion of the bromance between Trump and Kim, I just wonder how Donald Trump feels knowing that he has become just as much of a laughing stock as that other tin pot dictator Kim Jong Un.  After all he may not be as short and fat as Kim but he’s just as much of a psychopath and just as ugly.

LS – Yes that’s right Shmoe, very, very much a laughing stock and very, very ugly.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – Hmmm.

LS – Oh, look!  Producer Jorge says we have a caller on line one.  Go ahead caller.

KJU – You listen good, Lycra Spandexy and Morning Shmoe!  This Kim Jong Un, Supreme Dear Leader of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.  You really piss me off.  Maybe my friend Donald Trump let you get away with this stuff but I no will.  You are in deep doo doo.  You make fun of me?  Hah, I make fun of you!  What kind name Lycra Spandexy?  Sound like the sports bra.  And Morning Shmoe?  You some kind of Fourth Stooge?  Hah, Hah!

LS – Oh yeah?  Well your name is really funny.  Don’t you know Kim is a girl’s name?  Like Kim Kardashian.

MS – Honey, I don’t think you should engage.  I think the directive in these situations is to remain calm and shelter in place until the back-up arrives.

KJU – Too late you foolish losers.  I already sent team to your apartment.  You aware that Korean cuisine includes dog, right?

LS – Mr. Toodles?

KJU – That right.  I now finishing off Toodles with Noodles. Very hot and very tasty.

(Lycra becomes hysterical)

MS – You fiend!  I’ll call the State Department and have you arrested.

KJU – Don’t bother.  Diplomatic immunity.  And I already in flight and over Atlantic Ocean.  Plus, I no think Donald like you two too much.  You piss him off too.  So goodbye losers.  Better not say more about me or you might end up on menu for my shark tank.  (call ends in a dial tone)

MS – (with Lycra in the background keening shrilly for Mr.Toodles)  Well this is a black day on Morning Shmoe.  Not since the 9-11 attacks has anything as shocking occurred.  In fact, as we all know, the 9-11 attacks were the fault of Islamophobia whereas this murder is strictly the fault of Donald Trump and his Axis of Evil with a dictator who will remain nameless because of reasons.  I would declare a morning of mourning but we really need the paychecks to cover the wedding expenses we incurred.  It was an event wedding in Hawaii and Lycra had a lot of Eastern European relatives to fly in.

LS – (breaking out of her wailing dirge)  You were the one who wanted Hawaii.

MS- Whatever!  Well anyway, goodbye everybody and may your morning progress.

 

Mourning Morning Shmoe

Trump vs the Silly Season

Dramatis Personae: President Trump – (PT);

Vice President Pence – (VPP)

Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Oval Office

 

PT – Mike.  Mike.  PENCE!!!!  Where the hell are you?

VPP – Right here Mr. President.

PT – Mike, I can’t take it anymore.  That rat Cohen talking to Mueller is the end.  I’ve got to pull the plug on that stiff.

VPP – Mr. President, that could be a disaster for the mid-terms.

PT – I don’t care.  I’ve had it with this nonsense.  Once I fire Mueller I’ll have him indicted six ways to Sunday for all kinds of crap we’ve already got on him and then I’ll be able to get going on important stuff like that bill to move the UN from New York to Newark.  It’s such a subtle difference in pronunciation that no one will notice until the carjackings start piling up.

VPP – But Jeff Sessions said he’d resign if you fire Mueller.

PT -Who cares?  He’s utterly useless.  I had to order him to discontinue Comey’s phone plan four times before he finally got around to it.  Besides I’ve got a great new Attorney General lined up already.  And he’s between gigs so we’ll get him cheap.  Steven Seagal.

VPP – But Mr. President, isn’t Steven Seagal under investigation for rape?

PT – He’s assured me that it’s fake news.  Besides he was a sheriff down in Texas so he knows about the law.  With him as the AG we’ll finally start cleaning out the swamp.  We’ve discussed what kind of prosecutions we can get against CNN reporters who try to ask questions without being picked by me to speak.  He figures that a ten-year sentence would be fair.

VPP – Wait, no!  You can’t do that.  Freedom of the Press is in the Bill of Rights.

PT – This has nothing to do with Freedom of the Press.  It’s about jumping ahead in a line.  No one likes a line jumper.  The American people hate a line jumper and they will applaud the punishing of line jumpers.  I’m hoping I can get that worm Jim Acosta to talk out of turn.  Seagal says he’ll personally make the arrest by body slamming Acosta to the ground and tossing him out of the ring, I mean the Press Briefing Room.

VPP – Mr. President, please trust me, there is no court in the country that would even consider prosecuting reporters for shouting out a question out of turn at a press conference.

PT – Mike that’s just the kind of defeatist thing that JEB! or Romney would say.  Now Seagal is due here in a couple of hours so be ready to brainstorm with us.

VPP – But I’m sure he’s about to be indicted.

PT – Fine.  I’ll just pardon him and we can move on.  Now we’re gonna want to decide whether to just fire the whole FBI or also terminate all those alphabet soup agencies, you know, the CIA, the NSA, blah, blah, blah.  You know clear out all those losers.

VPP – Mr. President, that’s impossible.  Those agencies are critical parts of the law enforcement and security apparatus.

PT – Mike, you sound a little hysterical.  I think you should take a few weeks off and see if this job is for you.  If you’re not up to the challenge I hear that Chuck Norris is between gigs, except for that infomercial for the exercise machine with Christy Brinkley and those other old losers.  We could probably get him cheap and he could help Seagal drag Acosta down to the lock-up.  I figure they could even rough him up a good bit before handing him over to the police.  Acosta has said some pretty mean things about me in the past.  It would serve him right if they tuned him up a little bit.

VPP – Sir, this is insane.

PT – Look Mike I’m bored.  Something’s got to give.  Either you figure out how to end this Mueller thing right away or I’m bringing in Seagal.

VPP – Very well, Mr. President.  Fire Mueller and accept Jeff Sessions’ resignation.  I guess we can trust to your luck to get us through the ensuing Impeachment Trial.

PT – That’s the spirit Mike.  After all Bill Clinton was impeached and it didn’t stop him did it?

VPP – Wow.  That’s a stunning sentiment.

PT – Cheer up Mike.  If worst comes to worst you’ll be President.  That won’t be so bad will it?

VPP – Actually Mr. President, after serving with you for the last year or so, I’m not sure I want to be President anymore.

PT – Suit yourself.  If Norris isn’t available there’s always Dolph Lundgren.  I hear he’s between gigs and we could probably get him cheap.  Oh wait he’s a russky that wouldn’t look good.

VPP – Actually he’s Swedish.  He just played a Russian in Rocky IV.

PT – Whatever.  Now get me Sly Stallone on the phone.  I hear he’s between gigs and we could get him to be FBI Director for almost nothing.

VPP – Oy vey.

My Favorite Iowahawk Posts

Iowahawk is one of the funniest conservatives on the planet.  During the Iraq War his mockery of Al Qaeda psychopath Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi (or as featured in Iowahawk the Zarkman) provided a little bit of dark humor during some of the darkest days of that war.

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2006/04/i_hate_email.html

When Zarqawi was finally dispatched with a 500 lb laser guided bomb Iowahawk provided this gem:

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2006/06/paradise_blows.html

During the 2008 election William F Buckley’s son Christopher joined the other Rockefeller Republicans in signing up for the Obama Historic Disaster.  They couldn’t countenance Sarah Palin as part of the ticket.  Iowahawk brilliantly lampoons the Buckley upper-crust horror at Palin and the swooning descriptions of Obama.

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2008/10/as-a-conservative-i-must-say-i-do-quite-like-the-cut-of-this-obama-fellows-jib.html

During the Obama campaign Iowahawk provides this epic tale of the great Obamacles.

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2009/01/the-idiossey.html

And finally after the election Iowahawk parodied the countless descriptions of the amazing and historic victory of America’s first black president.

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2008/11/election-analysis-america-can-take-pride-in-this-historic-inspirational-disaster.html

Unfortunately in 2014 Iowahawk ceased writing posts to his website and seemed to restrict himself to Twitter (which I’ve never followed).  So, I never had a chance to follow his thoughts during the Trumpocalypse.  Well, all good things must end sometime.  But I figured I’d share this bit of right-wing internet history for any who missed it or were too young.