FBI Sends In Heavily Armed Tactical Team To Unscrew Incandescent Light Bulb https://t.co/p9DG92AKoF pic.twitter.com/ANd91wMKGM
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) August 12, 2023
Tag: Babylon Bee
Life Imitates the Babylon Bee
My state has one upped this gag. We have bridges that have been declared dangerous for decades but the state mechanism for repairing them is completely impenetrable. Eventually the state will have to be permanently divided along the lines of all the small streams that traverse it. Soon regional dialects will develop and eventually mutually unintelligible languages but the bridges will just become place names that adorn maps as we stare across these small bodies of water that will forever divide us. Damn you Mayor Pete.
State Achieves Goal Of Having Every Road Under Construction At The Same Time https://t.co/horXBcV3vS pic.twitter.com/9S80XUe5IF
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) June 26, 2023
11JUN2023 – Babylon Bee
Dylan Mulvaney Now Blackmailing Corporations By Threatening To Endorse Their Products https://t.co/2K7bnQIKJP pic.twitter.com/vjDrguJz6S
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) June 11, 2023
Babylon Bee Answers the Question, “What is a Man?”
Maybe controversial, certainly hard-hitting. But a must watch. Alright, it’s a joke.
— orionscoldfire (@orionscoldfire) June 4, 2023
01MAY2023 – Daily Dose of Babylon Bee
I know it’s fake but I could just hear him saying it.
Leadership: Biden Calls On Banks To Stop Collapsing https://t.co/Apg3jz0SuJ pic.twitter.com/ob0XO0VHjM
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) May 1, 2023
This Broke Up the Horror for a Minute
Much too smart to be responsible for Kamala’s word salad.
Meet Kamala Harris's 6-Year-Old Speechwriter https://t.co/sueN8kz0W6 pic.twitter.com/tLLL3aYTuA
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 27, 2023
Too Painfully Close to the Truth
They’re saying the quiet part out loud. Still waiting on the first cannibalism reports.
Chicago Mayor Warns That If Local Walmart Locations Close People Will Have Fewer Places To Shoplift https://t.co/BE63pUkGgt
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 17, 2023
Parody Will Probably Turn Into Reality Any Day Now
The Babylon Bee has so often seen their parodies turned into late breaking news so I have no doubt that Anheuser Busch’s marketing department are frantically looking for a way to double down on stupid even as we speak. So far they had the lame no-pology by the CEO and now there is a “patriotic” ad of a Clydesdale galloping from New York City to Washington DC to the Grand Canyon. There weren’t any noticeable gender dysphoric mental patients in sight but give them a chance. The week is young.
Bud Light Smooths Things Over With New Ad Featuring Drag Queen Waving American Flag https://t.co/fzg8tg8yUA pic.twitter.com/opFCsAvdB0
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 17, 2023
Drew Barrymore Clarifies the Relationship of Women to TransWomen
A picture is worth a thousand words. Sorry girls the guy in the dress is apparently your boss. Better find out what he expects from you and keep him happy. Maybe try complimenting him on his looks or clothes or hair or something. Be careful he looks kind of big and strong..
In Honor Of Women's History Month, Woman Kneels Before Man https://t.co/ySY9Cujgbb
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 15, 2023
Don Lemon and the Babylon Bee
Beautiful day. Some sun, high fifties. Kinda windy, but still. The mallards have returned to the puddle. They’re probably raising a family so that’s always a good opportunity for a photo or two. As I’ve said this incredibly warm winter is a fantastic thing. Daffodils are out of the ground and spring feels like it’s right around the corner.
Got a good laugh reading about Don Lemon putting his foot in his mouth again. I always enjoy it when two different cohorts of the leftist coalition get into a slap fight. And it’s a good one. A gay black man and two middle aged white women fighting about when a woman is past her prime?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s632y3ffIkw
That’s a win-win if I ever heard one. Don is so rankled by having to share the stage with women that he’s primed to start hissing and spitting even before anything is said. I watched the event several times. It’s wonderful. These two women hate Don’s guts and the feeling is obviously mutual.
Some people are hoping he gets fired now. But I hope they’re chained together for as long as possible. The further adventures of this trio has train wreck written all over it. Could Don make history by being the first gay man accused of rape by straight women? I don’t see how but that is the card that these Karens are always hoping to play. Maybe they could come up with some kind of psychic rape or some such thing. They should at least try.
Don will probably accuse them of racism and homophobia. And wouldn’t that be fun. Think of it. CNN would have its own white supremacist, gay bashing correspondents right there on their morning show. They could be denounced by …, well, by everybody! But just think what Joy Reid could do with this. She would summon up visions of KKK marchers coming for Don’s head on a pike. She would literally foam at the mouth. It would be must see tv.
Then Don could sue CNN for a zillion dollars and call it reparations for his modern-day enslavement there at CNN. MSNBC could cover it round the clock and eventually CNN would go out of business and everyone except Don Lemon would be glad. Don unfortunately would be forced to find another gig. Not such an easy thing for him anymore.
So, imagine a world in the future where both Don Lemon and the two shrews he’s battling with were disqualified from appearing on television because they were just too annoying for the majority of viewers. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful world? And the only question we have to ask is how do we get to that world? Well, it seems clear. We need to make it possible for people like that to be mocked as both stupid and unentertaining.
And we’ll know we’re there when Saturday Night Live is competing against something really funny like The Babylon Bee. That’s right, when things that are actually funny are shown on the major media outlets, we’ll know that the woke virus has run its course and burned itself out. And people can say what they really think without fear of being banished to oblivion by the gatekeepers and scolds.
The first tiny steps are happening. Twitter has reinstated the Bee. Hopefully enough people support the Bee by going to their site. And if you’ve got some spare change become a member. That will help.
It’s too bad we can’t stop paying for things like MSNBC and CNN that we don’t like. The cable system doesn’t allow for that, which is a shame. So, all we can do is throw a few bucks at the things that we do like.
Well, that’s what I thought about today. Back to work.
Don Lemon Returns To Work, Disgusted To Find Female Co-hosts Even Older Than They Were Last Week https://t.co/nHhhxwMVOO
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) February 20, 2023