Stop the presses! Kamala Harris is not running for governor of California! But she may run for president in 2028!
Remarkable. It’s like everyone has to suspend disbelief and pretend that Kamala hasn’t outed herself as a toxic buffoon who couldn’t defeat a door stop in a battle of wits. Didn’t we just watch her get trounced in a national election where her race, sex and age made her the runaway favorite to win the sympathy of the demographically changing American voters? Now granted she was selected over Joe Biden by the Democratic National Committee but after his performance in the debate against Trump even a potted plant would have seemed an improvement.
But just for the sake of clarity let’s say it out loud. Even the biggest Kool-Aid drinking progressive isn’t going to vote for Kamala Harris in the 2028 Democrat Presidential Primary. The stink of loser on her is like that cadaver smell on a corpse that’s been locked in an overheated apartment for a week. It would be absolutely impossible to even pretend to not notice it.
I guess my question is exactly how is this kind of information passed along to Harris so she doesn’t embarrass everyone by actually trying to run for office. For instance, how was she told that she couldn’t run for California governor? Did one of the Obamas call her up and make up some polite lie about saving herself for the 2028 race? Or was a zip-lock bag with rotting halibut mailed to her with the words CA Governor’s Race scrawled on it in red magic marker?
Alright, so elective office is no longer an option. But surely, she has options. Maybe she can be the next Fred Rogers. Ms. Harris’s Neighborhood? She can show up every day at 1pm and get off the bright yellow electric school bus, put on her slippers and sweater and talk to the nation’s four-year-olds at only a slight mental disadvantage.
To be fair to the kids Kamala can’t be allowed to discuss, arithmetic or science or geography or history or human biology or counting to three or, come to think of it, almost anything. But I’m sure if grown-ups provide her with a script and monitor her work there must be some topics that she can work her way through, like eating ice cream or taking a nap. But it would be essential that the program not be shown live because she is really stupid and retakes will be a part of the routine.
But honestly, I really believe that Kamala should go back to her first career. As Willie Brown’s side-piece she was put to her highest and best purpose and even though he is now 91 years old I don’t see why that should stand in the way of keeping her gainfully employed and minimizing her ability to speak. Because speech is not her strong suit. During the campaign they called it Kamala word salad. But that was being kind. It’s more like some kind of stream of consciousness if it was being produced by a mental patient. Okay, that’s enough.