Here in Dunwich we had our town budget meeting and the Finance Committee asked for a 10 percent increase and there was an uproar. The Bishops and the Whateleys demanded that First Selectman Cthulhu go into closed session with them and provide an itemized list of all the increases in expenditures. At the end of the session the First Selectman exited the chamber. When asked by the committee if all demands had been satisfied, he belched out a dark viscous cloud and declared, “Sure, at least until dinner anyway. I’m always hungry an hour after Whateley.”
During the next session a group of concerned Dunwichians demanded that alternative revenue raising methods be provided. Cthulhu suggested a 0.001% head tax be levied. This low rate excited many of the concerned group and they asked what details would still have to be worked out if this tax was provisionally approved. The First Selectman confided, “Well we’ll have to figure out how to decide which heads to harvest. I favor going blind fold and just biting off whatever heads come within my grasp until I’ve reached the agreed upon total. That seems fairest.” It was unanimously decided to shelve that proposal indefinitely in favor of the 10% tax increase.
Democracy in action in Dunwich is a frightening but somehow clarifying process. As opposed to other less mythic New England towns Dunwich cuts through the pretense of egalitarianism and nakedly reveals the precise power dynamic between Great Old Ones and anyone small enough to be engulfed, chewed and swallowed by their cephalopodic maws.
But to be fair, it’s not as if Americans aren’t equally at the mercy of their government. Paying taxes and not receiving services like police protection, safe drugs, secure borders and honest representation in Washington are standard operating procedure since at least the Obama administration.
Surely, no one is surprised anymore that no balanced budget is ever negotiated, approved and administered. Since Obama’s time continuing expenditure resolutions and multi-trillion-dollar omnibus boondoggles are the new normal. I wonder if it is even possible to get a balanced budget enacted. Would the administrative state just shrug it off and print more money and chalk it up to the need for “clandestine intelligence programs” above the public’s pay grade to know or even question? I have to confess I’m curious what in the world Trump will do if he gets back into the White House. It’s rather like being one of the fifth century Westen Roman emperors. You have to go through the motions of giving orders to the generals but outside your window you can see the Goths and the Vandals carrying off the last of the treasury.
This beyond reckless deficit spending will eventually lead to collapse. It has to. Really the only question I have is whether there is a plan to handle the collapse or will the rats just desert the sinking ship for greener pastures. Will the Obamas flee Martha’s Vineyard for New Zealand or Singapore?
Well, at least locally, the budget process is carefully controlled and all due respect is provided to the voters. First Selectman Cthulhu is also the ballot clerk at the budget vote. Every registered voter receives one ballot and casts it proudly. And we’re proud of our innovations in local government. By pre-printing the yes oval already filled in we have saved hundreds of dollars over the last few years in the cost of pens and markers. And that way Cthulhu doesn’t have to eat any “no” voters. That’s progress!