02DEC2021 – Dunwich Complainer – Local COVID Actions

Here in Dunwich as everywhere in America, COVID has been a scourge.  Of course, the spread and the symptoms in Dunwich are atypical and highly disturbing (as is everything here).  The disease is completely restricted to a one-mile radius around the historic home of Zebadiah Cobblestoner the legendary Whaling Fleet Magnate.

Zebadiah was known in the early nineteenth century as the whale prostate king.  His company sold pickled whale prostate throughout the New England region where its healing properties were much in demand.  And with the proceeds of this lucrative trade Zebadiah built a magnificent mansion in his native town Dunwich.  And there he lived in great opulence until the great whale prostate crash of 1841.  In that year the medical profession actually investigated the “healing effects” of whale prostate and discovered that its only effect on humans was to imbue its users with a decidedly bright blue coloration around their private parts.

Needless to say, Zebadiah’s fortunes fell on hard times.  In addition, a local witch named Hepzibah Goodbody was so outraged at the coloration she had contracted that she put a curse on Cobblestoner that not only killed him but rendered his mansion a nexus of contagion and miasma ever after.  At first this miasma was restricted to anyone foolhardy enough to inhabit Zebadiah’s mansion.  But over the years the contagion grew until now it had reached out to all the inhabitants of the formerly prestigious Toenail Hill area.  The malady starts out as general abdominal discomfort but in its terminal stage it presents as an exaggerated swelling of the lower abdomen followed by detonation of the prostate which usually leaves only the legs and upper body of the victim intact.  Surprisingly both males and females are equally afflicted in this syndrome.

Now you may be asking yourself how a nineteenth century witch’s spell that causes people to explode could be diagnosed as COVID.  Well, it turns out that the federal and state governments have provided, let us say, inducements to local governments for finding COVID cases in their areas.  And let’s face it, it’s not cheap cleaning up the biohazard when someone’s pelvic region explodes so First Selectman Cthulhu worked it out with the Dunwich Department of Health to sort of roll the Cobblestoner Curse victims in with the COVID census.

But with the recent state budget cuts the “subsidy” for the COVID cases has dried up and so the Board decided something should be done to clean up this problem.  I was contracted to do it.  And it was stressed that I could employ all means necessary.

Using satellite imagery, I was able to triangulate the source of the miasma to a corner of the Cobblestoner estate.  In fact, it turned out to be centered around Zebadiah Cobblestoner’s private cemetery.  I brought along one hundred tanker trucks, each loaded with 6,000 gallons of aqua regia which is a combination of saturated hydrochloric acid and fuming nitric acid.  My team excavated down to one hundred feet where we started to uncover a stone-like mass of enormous size finally we could see its shape was spherical with a diameter of over a thousand feet.  When we reached the bottom of this structure, we saw with horror that it was attached to the centuries dead but normal sized corpse of Zebadiah Cobblestoner.  We had uncovered his decidedly malign hypertrophied prostate bulging out of his body!

We climbed out of the excavation in a panicked rout but before following my team in a sprint for the hills I slammed the valve actuator that released the veritable lake of hyper-corrosive acid into the pit.  As I panted from the effort of escaping the scene, clouds of acrid fumes spread along the ground.  Earth tremors made it difficult to keep my legs under me but I finally reached a ridge about a mile off from the pit.  And there I witnessed a sight that has shaken my sanity and left me a shell of the man I was.

The ground around the pit convulsed and swelled.  The prostate swelled up to ten times its size and glowed a bright yellow.  Then the prostate shrank down and disappeared below ground.  But suddenly the corpse of Cobblestoner took its place swelling up to the size of the prostate and even larger.  Its face was distorted with pain and rage and I feared something truly horrible was about to occur.  All at once an enormous flatulence erupted from the nether regions of Cobblestoner.  A hurricane of unbelievably foul air stormed past me.  But almost as soon as it arrived it passed and a look of angelic peace suffused Cobblestoner’s face and then he slowly shrank back into the pit.

After a safe period of time had elapsed, I dared to return to the top of the pit.  There was no sign at all of Cobblestoner or his cursed prostate.  The area had been miraculously cleansed by the potent acids and the miasma was gone!  There are signs in the last few days that Toenail Hill is once again a healthy place.  I’ve notice that Zillow has quadrupled the value of all the local real estate and speculators have snatched up all the likeliest properties including the Cobblestoner mansion and gravel pit.

One other salubrious result of the exorcism is that for the first time since the beginning of the pandemic not a single COVID victim has exploded.  That means I’ll probably get paid for my efforts by the Town of Dunwich.  And I call that a win.

Abortion Redux

All of my adult life traditional religious Americans have been waiting for the chance to overturn Roe v. Wade.  It has taken almost fifty years to assemble a conservative majority of Supreme Court justices who might overturn the 1973 abortion decision.  Today a lot of the pundits were saying that the statements coming out of the hearings by the justices indicated that they were preparing to uphold the new law in Mississippi.  This would limit abortions to pregnancies shorter than 16 weeks.

Now enormous pressure is being put on the justices to let Roe stand.  Idiots like Senators Blumenthal and Schumer have made very ominous statements about the consequences if Roe is overturned or even if some stringent restrictions are made on abortion such as the recent Texas law.  The more measured warnings include packing the court or restricting its jurisdiction.  But Schumer actually made his warning sound like a personal threat against the justices themselves.  Personally, I’m not surprised by these threats.  The Democrats are gangsters who frequently resort to threats and violence when all else fails.  One need look no further than the George Floyd riots to see violence and intimidation being wielded by the Left’s mob du jour.

The abortion decision will not occur until next June.  This will provide proximity to the mid-term elections which will make its consequences even more interesting.  If the Court strikes down Roe or even just confirms the more stringent Mississippi law will this galvanize democratic support next November?  Or would it have the effect of encouraging voters on the Right who have been waiting all their adult lives to see the Supreme Court admit that abortion is not a constitutional right?

Speculating about something that won’t be known for another seven months seems kind of premature.  But it is fascinating to think that such a momentous change might actually happen after all these years.  And it makes me wonder what other alleged constitutional rights might be struck down in the future.  My favorite would be affirmative action.  The last time the subject came before the Supreme Court it was admitted by the Justices that it was indeed unconstitutional but that social pressures required it to be used as a stopgap method.  That was decades ago.  I think the impact from striking down all the affirmative action laws would be an order of magnitude greater than any of the other fake unconstitutional laws like same sex marriage because removing the affirmative action mechanisms would allow freedom of association to exist again.  The government would stop telling us who we had to employ.  We could once again hire people according to whether they were the best qualified candidates and not have to adhere to some kind of social grievance heat map to pick them.

The one thing I think could put the brakes on any actual decision is the fact that John Roberts might decide to vote for the conservative opinion.  By virtue of being Chief Justice that would then allow him to write the decision and he could do anything he wanted including just sending this case back down to the Appeals Court to tweak their decision.  And I wouldn’t put it past him.  He’s a spineless weasel who never misses a chance to roll over for the Left.

But the political winds are shifting in this country.  People’s eyes have been opened to how the people in Washington govern without caring what their constituencies actually elected them to do.  If voting for change doesn’t work pretty soon, they’ll stop voting.  And then they’ll look for change by other means.

End of 2021 – Where Are We?

Well, here we are at the precipice of December and there have been some hopeful political signs and some hopeful cultural stirrings.  The consensus is that Brandon Sucks and that even some Democrats are unimpressed with the Biden administration and with the direction they’re bringing the country.  But where does this put us?  Have we made any real progress in the last year?  That’s what I want to discuss here.  And the simple answer, I think, is yes.  Not a lot of progress but enough to warrant not giving up quite yet.

The first item to look at is COVID.  Almost eleven months since Dementia Joe took over and I’d say way more than half of the country has had enough of the absurd claims and dictates of the Democrats.  The way that the White House favored the teachers’ unions and ignored parents’ concerns has demonstrated that even in blue states like Virginia and New Jersey people have grown extremely weary and angry.  In places like California and New York there are still a majority of nuts voting in the likes of Gavin Newsom but even there the enthusiasm for this endless control over people’s lives is gone.  And the courts have recently begun to push back against the vaccination mandates that the feds are trying to push on public and private employers.  Taking all these things together we are in a better place on COVID.  I suspect that the “Omicron” variant will turn out to be a nothing burger in terms of deaths and places like Florida will be the proof that lockdowns and mandates are a stupid strategy.

The next thing to talk about is the economy.  The inflation and shortages that have sprung up are the primary reason for Dementia Joe’s sagging poll numbers.  And despite any obfuscation most of the inflation is caused by his administration’s war on fossil fuels.  Doubling the price of gasoline is a phenomenally disastrous course for a president to take.  Not only does it hurt commuters but the increased cost of fuel adds to the price of virtually everything we buy because of the transportation component to their cost.  And with winter in full swing now the increases in fuel oil will outrage million of homeowners.  Even renters will see their payments go up to account for the heating increases.  Inflation alone will cost the Democrats their House majority and very likely, the Senate too.

The damage that last year’s riots did to the ability of city police departments to enforce the law is tremendous.  Almost every major city and even smaller population centers have seen the police step back from enforcement as a result of the cities’ administrations throwing the police to the wolves.  And the result has been an epidemic of lawlessness.  Murder, assault, armed robbery and looting of retail establishments is literally out of control.  Just last week armed gangs overwhelmed security in a number of California retail stores and walked away with hundreds of thousands of dollars of merchandise.  Security guards have been shot and store employees are demoralized and frightened.  I’ve read leftist news sites claim that because the cities are already Democrat strongholds that crime will not be a major political issue in 2022.  I think they’re dead wrong.  There will be plenty of cities and maybe even blue states that will vote Republican out of fear of lawlessness.

Another item that can be added to the list of positive signs is the mainstreaming of some formerly forbidden ideas.  Even though it is relegated to only single sources, a politician (Ron DeSantis) and a network journalist (Tucker Carlson) have both begun to talk openly about subjects like anti-white discrimination and targeted violence against white Americans by groups that are almost opnly sanctioned by federal law enforcement agencies.  The biggest instance is the FBI protecting BLM and Antifa from prosecution during their riots which featured intimidation of white people along with assault, arson and looting.  The fact that any mention of these conditions is now allowed to reach audiences at all is, I think, a game changer.  Raising awareness in the general population is the only way to reach a critical mass of people unwilling to put up with the madness that has overtaken us.

And finally, I think we are finally reaching a point where leadership may be emerging that is willing to work toward toppling the oligarchy that has us by the throat.  Trump was the first taste of that.  He was suppressed pretty successfully by the combination of the media and the deep state.  Someone like DeSantis may be the next iteration in this process.  He is a politician and he has run a large state government.  He may have a plan to take charge of the federal government and reform it.  And by reform it I mean gut it.

So, these are the items I see and what has been going on.  In summary, the lousy job Dementia Joe has done on the economy, COVID and public safety seems poised to decimate the Democrats in Congress and state governments.  And some beginnings have emerged in some meaningful resistance to the outrageous assaults on American life that have gone on in the last year or two.

But none of these things represent a meaningful reversal of the already disastrous status quo.  It isn’t enough to capture the Congress or even the White House.  Policies must be rolled back not only on paper but in practice.  Bureaucrats have to be fired so that policies that they dictate cannot be enforced even against the wishes of a president.  And in the realm of business nothing has been done to break the stranglehold that leftist corporations in Silicon Valley exercise over e-commerce and social media speech.  Conservatives are banned from presenting their views on most of the internet and stand to lose their livelihoods if they attempt to do so.  Donald Trump has stated that he intends to launch a social media company to give a home to conservatives looking to speak freely.  That sounds like a good start.  But what is really needed is an e-commerce platform that combines the e-commerce services of companies like PayPal, GoFundMe and YouTube.  And that’s a tall order.  In fact, I’d add in banking and credit card functions to that list.  All of these things have been weaponized against conservatives in the last few years.  Only companies that provide these services to conservatives without fear of cancellation will finally re-level the playing field for us.

Last word, we’ve seen a start to progress.  But we’re so far behind that it’ll be a good long time before we start seeing anything like winning.  Let’s hope 2022 is the beginning of something more than just hope.

Alien (1979) – A Science Fiction Movie Review

I watched the movie Alien today for the first time since I saw it back in 1979.  Some things surprised me about the movie but the general impression is much as I remember it.  Luckily, the most annoying thing about the movie as I remembered it, the wildly varying sound levels used as a weapon against those with intact ear drums, was under my direct control thanks to the volume button.

I won’t give a detailed synopsis since everyone knows the plot.  I’ll describe it as follows.  An Earth space ship, the Nostromo, is travelling to Earth with a large cargo of ore.  The crew is awakened to investigate a message beacon coming from a nearby planetoid.  On it they find an ancient space ship with a long dead creature that seems to have died when something exploded out of its chest.  They discover a chamber that contains what look like eggs.  One of the eggs opens up and a crab-like creature smashes through the spacesuit helmet of one of the crew (played by John Hurt) and attaches itself to his face.  Later on, back at the ship the creature detaches from the crewman’s face and wanders off to die.  The crewman is seemingly unharmed but a few hours later a small somewhat humanoid creature erupts out of the crewman’s chest killing him.  The creature which is about a foot tall runs off into the ship and the crew goes on a search to find it and throw it out into space.

Somehow the creature increases in size until it’s about seven feet tall and spends the rest of the movie killing off the rest of the crew.  Finally, the only one left is Warrant Officer Ripley, played by Sigourney Weaver.  She sets the Nostromo to self-destruct and escapes on a shuttle craft.  But, of course, the alien is on the shuttle so she has to sneak into her space suit, open the air lock and shoot the alien with a grappling gun to push it out into space.  It manages to grab onto the engine so she ignites it thus ejecting the charcoal broiled alien into interstellar space.

The movie is a mixed bag.  The sets on the planetoid and the exterior shots of the Nostromo are beautifully done.  The interior shots of the Nostromo for the most part succeed in portraying a futuristic but gritty industrial environment.  I guess a combination of a tramp steamer and a star ship.  But one of the worst features of the movie is intentional.  Apparently, the designers and constructors of the ship ran out of light switches.  The whole movie takes place in the absence of light.  You can’t see a thing.  Sure, every once in a while, the monster’s jaws and its inner jaws start opening up and monster drool drips out but you never get to see the damned thing doing anything other than that.  And there’s a very good reason for that.  When all is said and done and all the marvelous CGI shots of the planetoid and the Nostromo are taken into account it’s still a movie with a guy in a rubber suit.  And that’s just not going to cut it.  So, most of the movie is just the crew running around in the dark waiting to scream when the monster bites them or injects them with an egg or whatever the hell it’s supposed to be doing when it catches them.

The actors do a creditable job with what they’re given.  In fact, most of them seem quite interesting and I wouldn’t mind watching a prequel where we see them interact while performing their duties as the crew of an interstellar ore freighter.  I’ll bet they could make such a movie fun and interesting with all kinds of adventures and sights.  But as monster fodder it’s a sort of limited palette.  Look left, look right, oops he’s behind you.  Look all around you, uh oh he’s hiding on the ceiling.  What this movie needed was a few Maglite flashlights.  Then they not only would have seen the monster but also beat it to death with the generous heft of the Maglite ML300L LED 6-Cell D Flashlight.

There was one really scary scene.  When Ripley escapes the Nostromo in the shuttle, before she discovers that the alien is in with her, she strips down to her skimpy underwear before entering the hibernation chamber.  And for the most part she seemed admirably contoured for a young woman thus attired but then she turned away from the camera and I discovered with horror that her butt was missing.  Instead of gluteus maximus she seemed to be suffering from a case of gluteus minimus.  What could have happened to her?  Did she lose her butt in some kind of industrial accident?  Did she donate it to someone else in the very rarely mentioned butt transplant surgery?  We may never know.  I still haven’t completely recovered from the shock.

Suffice it to say I have a mixed opinion on this movie.  If you think you could enjoy a poorly lit game of hide and seek with an interstellar menace then go for it.  You will see some nice visuals.  But watch out for Sigourney Weaver’s butt.  It’s truly shocking.