(With apologies to Frank Maynard)
As I walked out on the streets of the District
As I walked out on the District one night,
I spied a poor halfwit, whose name was James Comey
His name was James Comey and he was a sight
“I see by your outfit, that you are a pundit.”
These words he did say as I slowly passed by.
“Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story,
For I’m reamed in the butt, and I feel I must cry.”
“‘Twas once in the Bureau I used to go dashing,
‘Twas once in the Bureau I used to go gay.
First under Dubya, and then under ‘bama,
But I messed with the Donald and now I must pay.”
“Oh, beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly,
And play the dead march as you hear my sad song;
Take me to MSNBC, serve me some chai tea,
I squealed to the Senate but it all turned out wrong.”
“Get six special agents to pack up my office,
Six young attorneys to tap all my calls.
Put bugs in my auto and bugs in my condo.
Cause I squealed to the Senate and he’ll caught off my balls.”
“Then write down this story and make it real gory,
Laugh up your sleeve as you hear my sad song;
My bridges I’m burnin’ and I ain’t returnin’.
Cause if he ever finds me, he’ll cut off my balls.”