I just want to start off this post with a simple statement. Greta Thunberg is emblematic of all that is wrong with our age. Here is a confused mentally unstable child who instead of being instructed in the realities of her world is encouraged by her parents and teachers to indulge her flights of fancy and assume a mantle of wisdom with which she harangues her elders for providing her with the modern advantages that allow us to avoid cold, starvation and exhaustion, things that were the realities of human life for untold thousands of years before renaissance civilization discovered the secrets of modern physics. This post is dedicated to mocking the world view that attaches importance to the petulant ranting and raving of this disturbed and disturbing child.
I recently read a report that China will add enough new coal fired power plants in 2020 to increase their electrical output by the total amount currently produced by all of Europe. That means even if Europeans stopped using power completely and went to live in caves and kept themselves warm by donning squirrel pelts the Chinese would already have added back all that power usage in CO2 emitting coal for them. Hmmmm!
This really got me thinking. I’ll bet Saint Greta of Thunberg hasn’t heard about this. She’s not going to like it. That’s a lot of CO2. I’ll bet she’d really like to start a children’s crusade in China to shut down those coal fired plants. Why I’ll bet that there are millions of Chinese environmentalists just waiting for Saint Greta to show up in Beijing and harangue the Chinese Communist Party Central Committee on their use of coal. Being screeched at by a stunted Scandinavian kobold; isn’t that something that the highly principled leadership of a transparent and humanistic administration like the Chinese Politburo would relish? Hmmm!
But how to make this happen? I mean Saint Greta is really busy practicing her scowling-in-a-mirror exercises, and the Chinese really have their hands full with helping out the happy citizens of Hong Kong. How can the gig be set up?
Then it hit me. Let’s tell her it’s the United States that’s adding the coal plants and she’ll be over here like a shot. But what we can do is replace her billionaire’s catamaran with a Shanghai junk and send her on a voyage of discovery as she sails through the Suez Canal, around India and into the Pacific Ocean on her way to straightening out Xi Jinping. That two-year trek, which will include scurvy, rickets, interaction with pirates and very little in the way of modern annoyances like electricity and modern sanitary conditions, should give her a lot to think about.
And when she finally arrives in China, she can spread the gospel of renewable resources and let the people there know that they were much better off back in the Cultural Revolution when they survived on their daily five ounces of rice and their buffalo dung heating stoves. That should really turn them around on this whole industrial revolution thing.
And once she’s converted the countryside and marches into Beijing in front of her army of millions, I’m sure Saint Greta will be installed in the Forbidden City on a Throne of Jade and televised across the Middle Kingdom with her patented “How Dare You!” speech. Oh yeah, there’s nothing tyrannical despots like better than to be upbraided in front of their slaves by a demented dwarf.
But what would really make the whole thing special is if Saint Greta could find the authentic life style she is hoping to give to the rest of us. I’m sure the Chinese would be thrilled to lead Saint Greta to their neighbor North Korea and let her see what the glories of pre-industrial life are really like. If you’ve ever seen those night time satellite photos of the Korean peninsula you’ll know exactly how well the North Koreans are following Saint Greta’s example. And with respect to food, if memory serves me correctly Greta actually resembles the way a North Korean looks after living on the diet and lifestyle fostered in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.
And after Saint Greta has had a chance to reflect on the virtues of starvation and frostbite maybe President Trump can use her as a bargaining chip in his negotiations with Kim Jong Un. He can threaten to send wave after wave of demented dwarves into North Korea if they won’t come to terms on their weapons program. Yep, it’s a win-win for sure.