‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the House
Not a creature was stirring, ‘cept Pelosi the louse
The articles were strung in the indictment with care
In hopes that public would believe what was there;
The Senators were nestled all snug at Club Med
In hopes that their war chests soon would be fed;
And the Post there in D.C. and the Times in Big App’
Had taken a break from shoveling crap.
When on the House lawn there arose such a clatter
Even Pelosi’s dead heart had to go pitter patter;
Away to Security she hobbled to see
What the closed-circuit screen would show it to be.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to her big bulging eyes should appear,
But Marine Copter One setting down in high gear
With a big orange rider who made such a thump
As he stepped on the ground, she knew it was Trump
More rapid than eagles his lawyers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
Now Jared, now Rudi, now Johnny, now Billie
Now I don’t know the others so let’s not be silly.
Take the bugs from the phones, take the mikes from the walls
Now indict away, indict away, indict away all.
He wore a blue suit that bulged here and there
And orange was the color of his face and his hair
Across his smart phone his fingers did crowd
And the words that he typed he mumbled aloud
“Pelosi’s appearance is ugly and sad
The crimes she committed are stupid and bad.
I cannot impeach her, as she did to me
But I’ll get her for graft and away throw the key.”
The men spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
And collected the data then turned with a jerk,
And hauling their evidence bags to the ship
they jumped up aboard without even a slip
Trump sprang to his craft, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But she heard him tweet out, as he flew through the air,
“Pelosi in prison, that’s not so unfair!”