I am grateful to the Haters of America for putting their new Independence Day in June. I’ve always loved July as the finest time of the year. And not just because my birthday is slap dab in the middle of it or because it is the hottest and therefore the time when we in the north feel most vitally alive.
But also, because the Fourth of July was every young boy’s idea of the perfect holiday. You had it right in the middle of your summer vacation (back then we had all of June, July and August off). It included playing with and watching fireworks, eating huge amounts of barbecued food, corn on the cob and watermelon and drinking lemonade. We would go down to Coney Island and swim in the polluted waters of Lower New York Harbor and then watch the fireworks display that the city put on for us proles. It was a mighty fine time to be had by all and sundry. I can remember neighbors that typically spent most of the year yelling at their neighbors’ kids coming out and sitting on their porches and stoops and talking about the weather and the baseball teams and acting almost human. We didn’t really think about the patriotic aspect of it. After all we were boys and therefore barely human. But I am grateful to the Cloud People and Antifa and BLM and the illegal immigrant lobby and the LGBTQ Mafia and everyone else who hates the normal everyday things that America stood for. I’m grateful that I no longer have to share the Fourth of July with them.
And of course, the Fourth of July stands for more than just fireworks and hot dogs. But I wanted to start out with those things because they are the things that make it more than just important. They make it fun. And heaven knows we need as many things that can make us happy right now as we can get. I’m having the family over for a Fourth of July barbecue and the weather isn’t going to cooperate. After days of 90° weather, it’s going to be in the 60’s and cloudy. But that just means we’ll be able to have a baseball catch and play horseshoes without getting completely drenched in sweat.
We’re going to have a great time. After the barbecue I know Camera Girl will have desserts, splendiferous desserts. Ice cream and whipped cream will abound. And there will be Italian Cheesecake and maybe even pastries. And I’ll show my little 2 ½ year old granddaughter fireflies in the yard for her first time. And we’ll even shoot off a few small fireworks and then maybe watch some of the big stuff in the sky.
And I guarantee there will be not a whisper of white privilege or white rage or reparations or Juneteenth or Critical Race Theory. But there will be a little history lesson where I’ll find out if the boys all know what the Fourth of July commemorates.
And just to end this part of the post on the right note I’ll include some words that probably are more relevant today than they’ve been since shortly after they were written.
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
They almost sound topical. We’ll take a swipe at it next.