Month: June 2024

Biden Replacing Harris on 2024 Ticket with Upgrade (H/T to ZMan)

photog Biden Humor, Humor

Sensing that he needs to shake-up his campaign Joe Biden announces a new running mate.  At the press conference announcing his choice Biden said, “Mr. Tan will bring competence and professionalism to the ticket and any worries that people might have had about Kamala being a heartbeat away from the presidency will be relieved when they realize that Mr. Tan will drive over to the White House in his golf cart, day or night and hit the ground running.  And finally he will put to rest all those stereotypes about orange man being bad.  This orange man is very, very good.”

Reached for comment, Kamala was heard to say.  Well, how can I compete with those mad skills?  Then she burst out laughing hysterically and locked herself in the bathroom.

Mowing Your Problems Away

photog Current Events, Life in Dunwich, OCF, photog's Corner ,

A few weeks ago I was introduced to the term “no mow May.”  Apparently by not mowing the lawn in May there is a theory that we allow all of the pollinating insects to do their thing and Gaia will be happier and not allow volcanoes and asteroids to kill us all.

Now everyone on this site knows of my undying allegiance to the Green Revolution.  I’ve had the “global warming hockey stick graph tattooed on my eyeballs so that I’m constantly thinking about how much danger the planet is in.  So of course, I sacrificed all other considerations and refrained from mowing the lawn.

Well, lawn would be a misnomer.  My neighbors despise me for the sheer tonnage of dandelions in my fields.  They accuse me of robbing them of the perfect lawns they lust for.  I am, in a word, a heretic against the religion of lawn care.  But be that as it may I held out all May.  And as they drove by my property and the grass and weeds got taller and taller I could feel their hate growing and the dark side of the force becoming stronger and stronger.  But I would walk about unconcerned, at play in the fields of the Lord, luxuriating in the waist high sea of grass and weeds, taking macro shots of bugs and the grass itself and whatever else struck my fancy in my fantasy of a post-Leftist Earth.

But yesterday was May 31st and Camera Girl confronted me and reminded me of that fact.  And she had that wifely look on that I could tell meant that she would brook no nonsense.  And noticing it I said, “Oh, June already, how time flies!  Well, thank goodness it’s stopped raining.  I’ve been worried I’d never be able to get out there!”

So yesterday I hooked up the ride-on mower to a battery charger and got out my new ear protection and safety glasses and gloves and gathered up the various debris that was scattered all over the property and checked under the exceptionally long grass around places where there could be rabbits, foxes and other varmints hiding and collected all the large rocks, tennis balls and dog toys that Camera Girl hurls around the yard for the canine crew.

And this morning bright and early at 11 am I went outside and began the ordeal.  Yikes!  No mow May is a tricky calculation.  Sure, it bought me a couple of weeks of sloth but what a wreck.  I ended up recutting about a third of it and the cleanup was considerable.

Remarkably, Camera Girl was so impressed by the improvement that she seemed to forget that I was the cause of it looking so awful in the first place and I was treated as the conquering hero.  At late snack there was a slice of some kind of pastry, sort of like a Danish but less doughy, that I didn’t even know was in the house.  It was served with a mug of coffee just the way I like it and all was sweetness and light.  Women are extremely unpredictable creatures.  They get stirred up about things that we don’t even notice.  And we almost never know whether it will be in our favor or not.  But as has been observed by greater minds than mine, they are the only source for producing more human beings that we have so far discovered.  So, there we are.

There’s a lot to be said for cutting the grass.  A man can lose himself for a few hours and he can find his mind wandering in and around a lot of problems that are somewhere in the back of his mind.  Alternatively, he can also sometimes forget his problems for a little while.  Today was one of those day.  I turned off the 2024 election and all the rest of the madness for a few hours and damned if I don’t feel a lot better.

02JUN2024 – Quote of the Day

photog Quote of the Day ,

If the purpose of comedy be to chastise human weaknesses I see no reason why any class of people should be exempt. This particular failing is one of the most damaging of all in its public consequences and we have seen that the theatre is a great medium of correction. The finest passages of a serious moral treatise are all too often less effective than those of a satire and for the majority of people there is no better form of reproof than depicting their faults to them: the most effective way of attacking vice is to expose it to public ridicule. People can put up with rebukes but they cannot bear being laughed at: they are prepared to be wicked but they dislike appearing ridiculous.

Molière

Litmus Test

photog Current Events ,

Let’s face it.  I preach to the choir.  Nobody who voted for Hillary Clinton or Joe Biden reads my words.  If there is such a person please step forward.  We need to get a photo and a blood sample for National Geographic’s Bigfoot and Loch Ness Monster edition.

So, nothing I say is a shock for anyone reading this site.  Mainly I write down my thoughts to help me clarify them.  Living as an adult American over the last half century has been a revelation.  Almost all the things I thought I knew about the federal government turned out to be self-serving lies that were systematically spread and maintained by the public and private organs of the government to misinform Americans.

In fairness to the Devil only my own monumental stupidity and colossal intellectual sloth could have allowed me to be so blind to reality.  Imagine believing that George W Bush was on my side.  I should have the letter “L” branded into my forehead to remind me every day while I shave that stupid is my favorite flavor.

All that being said.  We have reached a new place.  We have the litmus test for our country.  And it’s not a measure of how many people are on each side of the political divide.  With the state of our election process no one can say anymore who really has more voters.  Fraud is just too much a part of the system at this point.  The test is more basic.

What we will find out is whether there is any limit on the ability of the Left to stay in power in Washington.  If Biden “wins” that election the answer is no.  There is no limit on the Left’s power.  My reasoning is this:

We live in a time when every indicator of dissatisfaction with the current administration is blinking red.  The economy, crime, drugs, mental health, illegal immigration, homelessness, cost of living, education, race relations, you name it.  Everything is out of control.  Never in the last hundred years has an administration with this kind of track record gotten reelected.  It wouldn’t even be close.  The most recent example would be Jimmy Carter.  With only half as many problems, Carter was blasted out of the water by Reagan in a landslide.

If despite all this Joe Biden is reelected then we can say without any hesitation that elections have ceased to be a reflection of the will of the American people.

So, yesterday’s “court verdict” was just the cherry on top of the sundae.  It was just the spit in the eye after the sucker punch that we’re supposed to react to.  We’re all going to march down to the town hall or the middle school and “vote harder” for Donald Trump.

And if after the smoke clears and a million absentee ballots get photocopied, Joe Biden wins in a landslide then everybody and I mean everybody will put down his number two pencil or his magic marker and stop showing up to vote.  Because it will be too humiliating to consider.

Even that rarest of objects, the American voter even stupider than me, will finally say, “Oh, it really is fake.”  And he will stop showing up at the polls.

And then we’ll have to figure out where we go from there.