Don’t Let Them See You Sweat

There are all kinds of men in this world.  They vary in temperament, intelligence, philosophy, habits, health and any number of other traits.  And likewise with women.  They come in infinite variety.  Most notably of late is their level of allegiance to the feminist project.  So, they run the gamut from strident man-hating lesbians and cat ladies all the way to the maternal heroine of the Victorian novel who lives to help her children and dotes on her husband.

But one thing I’ve noticed about all women.  When the bottom drops out of the world and the Huns are at the gate even the most misandric harpy that ever railed against the patriarchy runs around in circles screaming for the cavalry to arrive.  And just to be specific they expect the cavalry to be steeped in testosterone and bearing Y-chromosomes.

The best example of this that I can remember was directly after September 11^th 2001.  Maureen Dowd was and is a journalist for the New York Times and she has spent decades banging the drum for feminist complaints about men.  Her contempt for men in general and conservatives in particular was limitless.  But then the Towers were knocked down in September and suddenly policemen, firemen and soldiers were the heroes she wanted to write about.  Suddenly she realized that the only thing standing between her and the primitive world that is held in check by modernity is a man with a gun.  Of course, eventually she calmed down and realized that men with guns tend not to be feminists.  And she returned to her default contempt.  But for as long as she was scared, she wanted to be comforted by the knowledge that the patriarchy was keeping her safe.

And that impulse to look to the man with a gun is programmed into her DNA.  She won’t admit it because it makes her seem like someone who can’t push aside sex-linked traits as if they were just “social constructs.”  And it’s more than just protection from the Hun.  Whatever the catastrophe, when the bottom drops out a woman looks to her man to make things whole again.  And that’s all women.  The good ones are grateful.  The dishonest ones pretend they could have done it on their own.  They may even pretend they did.

But when Armageddon arrives, and you’re busy trying to figure out how to save the day, it’s good to remember that the women folk often need some kind of sign from you that you can save the day.  And here the female psyche should be taken into consideration.  Because even if there’s nothing that you can think of to do the best strategy is to appear to be doing something constructive.  I am convinced that a fretful woman who sees her man engaged in physical activity with tools of whatever kind; mechanical, diagnostic or even just a wheelbarrow will take solace from the idea that he is taking the lead and solving the problem.  And it doesn’t hurt if he assigns her some role to play in the “brilliant plan” that he is already putting into motion.

Camera Girl, even Camera Girl is not immune from this behavior.  She that has shared my life for almost half a century; knows me right down to my toes.  And she knows just how lazy and lethargic I am by nature.  But when I can see that something serious has scared her, then I know it’s time for me to do my best Superman impression and let her know that I have a way to make everything whole again.  Of course, most times I don’t and maybe I’m kind of scared myself.  But admitting that is a big mistake.  Morale is a very important part of life and if you let the family morale crack, things get even tougher.

So that’s my insight.  I recently saw an example of this that reminded me of this dynamic.  I thought it might be useful information for others.