Going, Going, Gone

As I noted today, Morning Schmoe is kneeling in the snow outside the Pope’s window begging for clemency.  And he’s just the first.  There isn’t enough money at CNN and MSNBC to employ 20% of the talentless hacks that are currently on the payroll.  I can’t imagine that Warner Bros. Discovery wants to continue paying Anderson Cooper $20 million a year for doing whatever it is he does.  And there’s no way on Earth that NBC Universal is going to pay Joy Reid anything at all for the toxic sideshow that she puts on over there.  But the question mark is who gets to stay?

Will they keep some of the marquee players to maintain the pretense that these cable channels are “serious” journalism?  Or will they keep the cheapest talent and try to turn a profit that way?  If they’re smart, I think they should follow the latter course.  Their ratings have already reached the bottom so quality is no longer a consideration.  Cutting costs might extend the viability of these companies for a little longer.  But what’s going to happen to all of these unemployed “journalists?”  In a way CNN did a favor to Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon by letting them go first.  They got the first chance to find jobs before the glut of their peers.  Both of those guys probably lined up some sweet assignments with Uber and Papa Gino’s.

And things aren’t going to be much better for the Fox News guys.  Cable News is a dying industry.  For the foreseeable future it will be like a giant game of musical chairs with fewer and fewer chairs to go around.  Think of all the amazing characters that will disappear from your tv screen (well, that is if you regularly watch MSNBC and CNN.  Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough.  Jonathan Capehart, Chris Hayes, Rachel Maddow, Andrea Mitchell, Lawrence O’Donnell, Jen Psaki, Joy Reid, Al Sharpton, Chuck Todd, Dana Bash, Anderson Cooper, Van Jones and Jake Tapper.

Look at those names.  Irreplaceable talent.  Almost like friends; like really, really annoying friends.  The kind who says inappropriate things and borrow money.  The kind who won’t leave at the end of a party.  And suddenly they’ll all be gone.

Well maybe I can cope with the sadness of their loss by making a game of it.  Maybe I can start a betting pool on who goes first.  Who cries on screen?  Who takes the largest voluntary pay cut?  Who has to share an office with the security staff (my money is on Lawrence O’Donnell, he looks reasonable)?  Who goes postal (Mika)?

But most interesting is which if any will make the ultimate compromise and become a conservative to try and get a job at Fox News?  I’d say the early money is on our good friend Joe Scarborough.  After all he was a Republican congressman before having the lobotomy.  It wouldn’t take hardly any makeup to turn him into a rabid MAGA attack dog.  And I’m sure Mika could make the same transition with no real difficulty at all.  Boy, it’s good that the fourth estate is there to take care of us.