Category: Movie Reviews

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Worst Movies of the 21st Century List

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The Hollywood Reporter is a rag that’s been around forever and purports to know something about film.  They’ve put out a list of what they claim are the “best” films of the 21st Century.  If you go through this list from start to finish you’ll most say, “Huh?”  Which is a good thing.  Most of this dreck explores the neuroses of sexual deviants trying to figure out why they are desperately unhappy and at odds with normal human experience.  Good luck with enjoying that with a tub of popcorn.  There are one or two movies that were entertaining or meaningful but as a list to choose entertainment it’s a joke, a bad joke.

One of these days I need to publish some best movie lists by categories and put these professional critics to well deserved shame.

Hud (1963) – A Movie Review

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What kind of movie should Hud be called.  It’s not a clear thing.  I guess I’d call it a character driven story about an amoral man.  Paul Newman plays Hud Bannon the son of a small-time Texas cattle rancher Homer Bannon (played by Melvyn Douglas.  They live in a small house on their ranch along with Hud’s nephew Lonnie.  And rounding out the cast is the housekeeper Alma Brown played by Patricia Neal.

Hud is a handsome, personable young man who spends his time drinking and sleeping with the various unfaithful married women of the small town they live near.  In the opening scene Lonnie is searching around town for Hud to come look at a dead cow at the ranch.  When he finds him at the house of one of his women the husband shows up and Hud tells the man that Lonnie was the one who was with his wife and Hud quickly escapes with Lonnie while claiming that he will punish Lonnie for his behavior.

(Spoiler Alert – Skip down to last paragraph to avoid spoilers and read recommendation)

This sets the tone for the whole movie.  Hud is completely irresponsible and selfish and he really doesn’t care how his behavior effects anyone or anything.  The movie shows Lonnie learning about his uncle by following him around and experiencing how exciting, reckless and dangerous his uncle is.  We gather from his speech that Homer has long ago written off his son as a hopeless case and shows cold distaste for him.  Part of this is based on Hud having killed Lonnie’s father in a drunken car accident years ago.    Alma is somewhat charmed by Hud’s attentions but she is careful not to encourage him because she senses his callousness and irresponsibility.

By the end of the movie the depth of Hud’s selfishness and disloyalty is on full display.  When the ranch is in crisis because the herd has to be destroyed because of disease, Hud immediately calls on a lawyer to have his father declared incompetent so he can turn the property into cash.  And in another scene, in a drunken debauch, Hud attempts to rape Alma and is only stopped when Lonnie pulls him off of her.  Hud barely restrains himself from beating Lonnie to a pulp.

The story ends with Homer dying from a fall from his horse but it seems the case that he no longer wanted to live.  Alma has already left town to escape Hud and in the final scene Hud comes back from the funeral to see Lonnie walking away down the road to continue his life without his heartless uncle.

I will admit that this doesn’t sound like a promising plot.  But the four principals provide truly excellent characterizations and the plot draws you in to see how this fraught situation will resolve.  Newman’s character is both unsympathetic and mesmerizing.  Patricia Neal’s Alma is humorous and bittersweet.  Hud’s father and nephew are also played very convincingly.  When the movie ends, and it ends abruptly, I guess the feeling you’re left with is anger.  Now that’s a strange way to leave an audience but at the same time there’s an honesty about the ending.  Many people have probably known someone like Hud, a charming sociopath who leaves a path of destruction in his wake.

This movie may not be everyone’s cup of tea.  I’m recommending it because I think it’s a good film.  If my description hasn’t scared you off give it a try.

Master And Commander – The Far Side of the World (2003) – A Movie Review

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I’d heard a good deal about this movie from a friend of mine who was of old Yankee blood and a sailor.  I finally got a chance to see it last week.

(Spoiler Alert – Skip down to last paragraph to avoid spoilers and read recommendation)

The story follows the adventures of the crew of the HMS Surprise during the Napoleonic Wars as its captain, Jack Aubrey, (played by Russell Crowe) chases a French privateer, the heavy frigate Acheron, from the coastal waters of Brazil, around the Cape Horn and into the tropical waters of the Pacific.

Because the Acheron has a much more substantial hull the Surprise is heavily damaged during their first engagement off Brazil while the Acheron is virtually undamaged.  Aubrey foregoes a lengthy refitting in port and instead makes hasty repairs at sea while doing his best to pursue the Acheron.  But because of the Acheron’s superior battle capability it becomes a cat and mouse game where the Surprise is sometimes the pursued.

And while all this goes on, we meet the rest of the crew.  The ship’s surgeon, Stephen Maturin is played by Paul Bettany.  The doctor not only can saw off a midshipman’s arm as needed but he’s also the captain’s accompanist in their musical string duo.  I kid you not.  The crew and the officers have a complicated relationship with strict discipline and primitive superstition both playing a part.

Eventually through luck and guile Aubrey engineers the attack on the Acheron and we get an epic sea battle with the Surprise’s crew boarding the Acheron.  And the Surprise is victorious and captain and crew prepare for the business of bringing the captured Acheron to port.

So, what’s the story with this movie?  Why do some people rave about it?  The first thing I noticed was that the movie successfully captured the claustrophobic crowdedness of these sailing ships.  You can feel the lack of air in the hold where the crew sleeps cheek to jowl.  It feels real.  Less like Hollywood’s version of the 19th century English navy.  Right down to some of the midshipman being essentially boys of twelve years or so.  Then there’s Russell Crowe’s portrayal of Aubrey.  Crowe is a damn good actor.  He makes the captain a real figure.  You can believe in him.  And Aubrey and Maturin’s friendship and clashes also ring true.  The man of action and the man of science confronting their conflicting priorities as best they can.  And lastly, the battle scenes are very well done and highly exciting.  The only part of the story that I had trouble with was the final battle.  The boarding scene was intentionally chaotic.  Such an event would have to be.  But honestly at many points I couldn’t tell which side was doing what to whom.  It didn’t ruin the film but I thought it could have been a little less indecipherable.  I enjoyed the movie and would recommend it to lovers of adventure and students of history.

Guest Contributor – Chemist – 01MAR2023 – Further Comments on the Oscars

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I came to answer your question “What is wrong with the Oscars”?
(Although I agree with the rant about crappy movies.)
1) Too long. If you can’t get it done in 2 hours – don’t do it. People have lives, they need to get up in the morning.
2) Too woke. Stop awarding movies no one is ever going to watch just because they are woke.
3) Too much self preening. Take your award. Thank you mama, high school drama coach and your spouse – then get off the stage. We don’t want to hear about your current pet project. (Unless you are funny. Humor is welcome. Brevity or levity.)
4) Get rid of the damn politics. The country is just about evenly divided. No matter what you say, you will piss off half the country. Stop it!

This shouldn’t be news to anyone. And the fact that the Oscars (and every other award show) keeps on doing these things is just a giant middle finger to the audience.
We get it. You don’t care about us. Understood. Message received. Loud and clear.
So stop asking why we don’t watch your silly little award show. You know why.

What’s Really Wrong With the Oscars?

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I don’t know why I would read an article in Vox magazine entitled “This is the most populist Oscars in a long time.  So why doesn’t it feel like it?“   I guess it’s because sometimes I wonder what Hollywood thinks about its own destruction.  I really should stop wondering.  But anyway.

This article is centered around a recent Saturday Night Live skit about how no one can name any movies in the last five years.

“This is an interesting problem for me, a film critic, to think about. I watch more movies in a year than some people watch in a lifetime, and hear about hundreds more. The situation is different for most ordinary folks. In the SNL sketch, Yang asks Pascal to “name three movies from the past five years.” Stunned by the challenge, Pascal ventures, “Oh, wow. Three? Okay.” He contemplates, and comes up with Top Gun. Then he tries another: “The Hangover?”

“That was 20 years ago,” Yang says.

“The Night … Man,” Pascal says.

“Sounds like you’re just saying words. Come on, all you need is one,” Yang coaxes. “Can’t you just name one more movie?”

“Nope,” Pascal says, resigned.

“That’s right!” Yang crows, jubilantly. “Nope! You won the speed round!””

So, this is supposed to be funny but it’s just reality.  Hollywood can no longer make a good movie.  At this point if one happens it’s an accident.  All we’re left with are sequels and superheroes.  When they stray away from those mainstays we end up with a dreary story about tortured people that have some affliction like transgenderism or Tourette’s syndrome who we’re supposed to cheer on as they bravely struggle to force the world to struggle along with them.  Or maybe it’s a genre film; science fiction or film noir where the protagonists are transgender or have Tourette’s syndrome and the people who aren’t transgender or don’t have Tourette’s syndrome are the evil villains.  Or it’s a story about lesbian or gay love.  Or it’s a documentary about a woman who was being kept down by “the man” but now she’s the head of a multi-national non-profit that makes bean bag furniture for everyday people.  Or it’s a documentary about a mostly peaceful riot during the Summer of George Floyd.  Or best of all, maybe it’ll be another story about slavery in the antebellum South.  What a joy that would be!

But, no!  The authoress then reveals the real problem, it’s just poor marketing!  So, get that.  In a world in which you are bombarded with ads on every device you can possibly own, on every site you enter, giant media companies aren’t able to tell you they have a movie coming out.

“The abundance of options and possibilities tend to strip the context and intentionality away from the viewing experience; you didn’t have to talk to your friends about what movie you wanted to see, buy a ticket, and create an experience out of it. Now it all just flows toward you, content in an endless stream.”

This is gibberish.  I suspect this woman was dropped on her head at some point in the past and never recovered her wits.  Or maybe she thinks we were.  Of course, people heard about movies from friends.  The problem is all the movies are now unwatchable so our friends don’t have anything to tell us.  It’s like what happened to broadcast television.  The profit model changed so they stopped making things that were good and filled up the time with reality shows and police procedurals where the police are all young women who have really nice hair and clothes and only arrest straight white men who are keeping the BIPoCs, LGBTQ and women “down.”

There are no good movies to see.  Even the superhero movies have become infested with woke characters and plots.  And that why Top Gun made a bazillion dollars last year.  It was an old-fashioned movie with a plot and likeable characters and it didn’t show you anything weird that you had to make believe you liked.

“It’s okay if you haven’t seen most of the Oscar nominees, or even heard of them. In 2023, that probably means you live a normal, well-balanced life, one full of going outside to toss around a softball and maybe, I don’t know, reading books and whatever normal people do. But if you find yourself wondering why you can’t name three movies that came out in the past five years, remember, it’s not just the movies’ fault — and it’s a fixable problem, with a little effort.”

It’s not a fixable problem because Hollywood cannot be fixed.  It has been in a death spiral and that’s now approaching impact.  When it splats it will leave a lot of stupid emotional people without jobs.  Good.

It can only be replaced by something willing to provide entertainment that people are willing to pay for and willing to watch.  And that is why no one with half a brain will be watching the Oscars this year or any other year.  Pass the popcorn.

 

 

Hollywood Scandal!

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A “scandal” is rocking the very foundations of the Oscar awards!  “Sources” say that a questionable marketing and influencing effort may have improperly boosted the nomination of a white actress, Andrea Riseborough.  And that might be responsible for two black actresses; Danielle Deadwyler and Viola Davis not being nominated!

Choking down feelings of anger, hatred and outrage I manage to shout:

WHO?

Really, who the hell are any of these people and why would anyone care at all whether they might win the Oscar for best actress?

First of all, I have a zero chance of ever seeing any movie any of them might be in.  That’s a guarantee.

Second of all, even if one of the black actresses is exchanged for the white actress and even wins the Oscar I will still never see any picture she might ever be in.

Third and last of all, even people who pretend to like these movies and go to see them, are bored and dread going to see them.  They have to claim to like them to impress people they think are important or smart.  But these motion pictures are propaganda exercises that mostly allow Hollywood to virtue signal about whatever the cause du jour happens to be.

Now if they were giving out an Oscar for Creepiest Hollywood Denizen and it was a contest between Harvey Weinstein, Woody Allen and Roman Polansky now I’m all ears.

Blood on the Moon (1948) – An OCF Classic Movie Review

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“Blood on the Moon” is a western that manages to transcend some of the cliches of the genre.

(Spoiler Alert – Skip down to last paragraph to avoid spoilers and read recommendation)

When we first meet Robert Mitchum as Jim Garry, he’s riding through an Indian reservation to reach an old partner of his, Tate Riling (played by Robert Preston).  He’s intercepted by a cattle outfit run by John Lufton.  He tells Garry that Riling is trying to prevent Lufton from getting his cattle off the reservation in time to avoid their confiscation by the government over a voided contract.

When Garry finally reaches Riling, he finds out what kind of job he’s been summoned to perform.  Riling is in cahoots with a federal agent named Pindalest that procures the cattle for the reservation.  They’re trying to force Lufton to sell his cattle for pennies on the dollar and then sell them to Pindalest at the full price with a goodly bribe to Pindalest.  Out of the huge profit Riling will cut Garry in for ten thousand dollars for being the gun hand to make sure nothing interferes with Riling’s plan.

When Riling and his men and the homesteaders that he’s fooled into helping him attack Lufton’s herd they manage to scatter it thoroughly which should be enough to guarantee that Riling’s plan will succeed.  But one of the homesteaders, Kris Bardon (played by Walter Brennan) loses his son in the stampede and Garry decides the whole plan is too dirty for him to go on with.  He quits Riling’s crew and manages to save Lufton’s life when two of Riling’s men were preparing to gun him down.

To further confuse the situation Lufton has two daughters.  Carol Lufton is in love with Riling and has been providing him with information about her father’s plans and actions.  Amy Lufton starts out hating Garry but over the course of the movie as she sees his actions are well-intentioned, she changes her mind and comes to trust him.

When Garry quits the crew Riling goes looking for him and they have a huge brawl in a cantina.  Garry finally knocks Riling out.  When one of Riling’s henchmen gets ready to execute a defenseless Garry, Kris Bardon shoots the gun hand.  Now Garry goes to Lufton and reveals the whole plan about Riling conspiring with Pindalest to steal the herd.  They come up with a plan to defeat it.

Garry goes to Pindalest as if he’s still working with Riling and tells him to suspend the government’s seizure order on Lufton’s herd and creates a ruse that has Pindalest go with him out into the mountains to give Lufton enough time to gather the herd and bring it off the reservation.  The ruse succeeds up to a point but then an Indian whose friends with Riling tips him off that Pindalist is being stalled by Garry.  Riling and his men come after Garry and in an altercation, Garry is stabbed and Pindalist is rescued.

A badly wounded Garry escapes to Kris Bardon’s cabin where Amy Lufton joins them to nurse Garry’s wound.  Soon Riling, Pindalist and one other gunman show up and surround the cabin while Bardon and Amy hold them off with rifles.  That night Garry, sensing that eventually the outlaws would manage to overcome the defense, tells Bardon and Amy to provide a diversion while he slips out the door and sneaks behind the gunmen and takes them on.

He manages to pistol whip Pindalist into unconsciousness and shoot the other gunman.  And in the final confrontation he shoots it out with his former friend Riling.  Garry is victorious and he reappears at the cabin.  Later John Lufton and his men appear at the cabin.  They take Pindalist into custody for delivery to the marshal.  And as the drama ends Amy tells her father of her plans to marry Jim Garry.

Although this western was made during the heyday of that genre, this production differed substantially from the typical black hat, white hat conflict.  Mitchum’s character is more reminiscent of the characters he usually portrayed in film noirs where he would be a small time criminal or a gun for hire.  He straddles the line between good and evil pretty thoroughly until almost the end of the movie.  And that’s what keeps the movie from devolving into a typical good guy, bad guy shootout.  Mitchum and Preston manage to keep the battle between light and darkness alive and interesting throughout the movie.  The rest of the cast isn’t afforded much opportunity to rise above the normal western tropes.  The two actresses in love with Garry and Riling are given fairly stereotypical plot and dialog for those roles and the other parts fairly equally follow the conventions of the genre.  But Mitchum and Preston provide the fireworks and it boosts the movie well above the average.  Highly recommended for fans of westerns and fans of Robert Mitchum.

The Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel (1951) – A Movie Review

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This movie is not strictly speaking a WW II movie.  It is a chronicle of the events leading up to the death of German Field Marshall Erwin Rommel.

(Spoiler Alert – Skip down to last paragraph to avoid spoilers and read recommendation)

James Mason plays Rommel.  It opens up with a British submarine off the coast of German occupied North Arica.  A platoon of commandoes is landed by rafts to assault the headquarters of the German Afrika Corps.  The commandoes storm the building and pour machine gun fire and grenades into the living space.  As German reinforcements arrive the British soldiers retreat.  One man is too badly wounded to escape.  As he is captured, he asks the German soldier, “Did we get him?”  And the German soldier scornfully answers in the negative.

The “him” that the Briton meant is Rommel and the suicide mission proclaims the enormous respect that Rommel’s enemies have for his skills in war.  But unfortunately for their mission Rommel was at that time being treated in Germany for a case of nasal diphtheria.  But before he can recover, the British attack his forces in the second Battle of El Alamein and Rommel is summoned by Hitler back to the desert to ward off this attack.  Unfortunately, Berlin only sends Rommel, not tanks, ammunition, men or even fuel to run the tanks they still had.  Orders are given to stand and fight to the last man.  Rommel disobeys the orders and arranges a tactical retreat to save his men.  But exhausted and still sick he is forced to return to hospital in Germany.  And his army is defeated and captured by the British and Americans.

Recovering from his illness he is visited by Dr. Karl Strölin (played by Cedric Hardwicke), the mayor of Stuttgart and an old friend of Rommel’s.  We learn that many senior officials in Germany have lost faith in Hitler and are looking for a way to remove him from power.  Rommel rejects the idea and warns his friend not to discuss this idea with him.  He declares himself to be a soldier and not a politician.  His friend warns him that a time will come when he will have to face the consequences of being a soldier in Hitler’s army.

Now Rommel is directed to help lead the defense of the French coastline against the expected invasion.  The supreme commander of the German forces, Field Marshal Gerd von Rundstedt (played by Leo G. Carroll) explains to Rommel that Hitler has taken complete control of the strategy of the invasion defense.  He explains that the strategy is being decided based on astrology and that instead of reinforcing the beaches they are concentrating on the coastal cities.  When D-Day arrives Berlin refuses to allow troops to redeploy to reinforce Normandy and so the Allies break loose from Normandy and begin their march to the Rhine.

The officers who are planning to assassinate Hitler once again approach Rommel for his support.  He tells them he must first attempt one last time to convince Hitler to redeploy his forces to avoid catastrophe.  He meets with Hitler but is rebuffed and told to remain in place and fight to the last man.  Rommel tells the coup leaders to go ahead with their plan.  But before the assassination attempt Rommel is injured when his staff car is strafed by enemy aircraft and crashes.  While he is recuperating in a hospital the attempt on Hitler is carried out but he is only injured.

After release from the hospital Rommel is sent home without any military orders and all mention of him disappears from the war effort.  One day he is called from Berlin to sat that a deputation would arrive at his home to discuss his future assignment.  But instead, when it arrives he is told that an investigation has convicted him of treason and he is given the choice of secretly committing suicide by painless sedative or being garroted.  But Rommel says he would prefer to answer the charges in open court to at least make his statement in public.  But then the officer adds that if he agrees to take the silent suicide his reputation will be preserved and wife and son will be taken care of.  If he decides to go public no such guarantees apply.  And so, he goes to his death.  The movie ends with the recitation of a speech that Winston Churchill gave honoring Rommel for his courage in risking his life in attempting to eliminate Hitler and thereby save his country from catastrophe.

This is a very unusual movie in that the Second World War is only the backdrop for the dramatic action of the plot.  We’re shown a great general, a consummate professional, learning that detaching his duty as a soldier from his responsibilities as a human being is sometimes impossible.  He is brought to understand that obeying the orders of a madman cannot fit under his warrior’s code.  Mason is usually interesting to watch in a movie and this one is no exception.  If nothing else he has one of the most distinctive and commanding voices in the history of cinema.  The movie is not highly dramatic.  It’s almost understated considering the circumstances and the people involved.  I would recommend this movie to students of history and those who enjoy a cerebral movie experience.

In Bruges (2008) – A Movie Review

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In Bruges is described as a black comedy-drama crime thriller.  I will agree it’s a very bleak comedy indeed.

(Spoiler Alert – Skip down to last paragraph to avoid spoilers and read recommendation)

Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are two Irish hitmen, Ray and Ken, that work for English mob boss Harry, played by Ralph Fiennes.  Harry has ordered the two men to lay low in the Belgium resort town of Bruges after a hit in the London area went badly.

When first introduced Ray and Ken are arguing about Bruges.  Ray claims that Bruges is too insanely boring for him to endure and Ken claims that Bruges’ cultural and scenic virtues made it a relaxing and interesting hiding place.  Ray is a young working-class man who has no interest in a tourist attraction while Ken is an older man who seems to possess sensibilities outside of the brutal realities of his murderous trade.

And so, the first part of the movie is the two hit men bickering about spending their time in the pubs versus sightseeing the medieval tourist destinations.  During this time Ray meets a young woman, Chloë, associated with a film shoot, an actress.  And among the actors on the streets taking part in the filming is a dwarf named Jimmy whom Ray is inexplicably fascinated by.  But while the two men are out and about Harry calls for them and is extremely angry at their absence from their room.

At this point we are shown a flashback to the hit that caused Ray and Ken to hide out in Bruges.  During a confession in a Roman Catholic Church Ray confesses to a murder and when the priest asks him who he murdered Ray replies, “You.”  Then he proceeds to fire several rounds into the priest.  So far so good.  Mission accomplished but the bullets also killed several people waiting for confession including a young old boy.  And he sees a note that the boy had written listing his sins which included not doing well enough in math class.  Now we see that Ray is haunted by his “sin” against innocence.

And in the next scene while Ray is on a date with the actress, Ken takes the phone call from Harry.  Harry tells Ken that he sent them to Bruges to give Ray a pleasant send off before he has Ken kill him.  When Ken objects Harry explains that killing a kid is a mistake that can’t be allowed and Ray has to pay the price.  It’s part of Harry’s personal moral code.  Of course, Harry seems like an unhinged psychopath but apparently, he has a code.  Ken agrees to the hit.

Meanwhile Ray’s “date” takes a very odd turn.  While Ray and Chloë amorously engaged in her bed, a former boyfriend (or a grifting partner of hers, Eirik confronts them and threatens Ray with a pistol.  Ray quickly disarms Eirik and during a struggle fires off a blank round next to Eirik’s face, blinding him in one eye and causing Chloë to escort Eirik to the hospital.

The next day Ray goes out to a nearby park.  Ken follows him with a silenced pistol prepared to carry out the hit.  He sees Ray on a bench with his back to him and as he runs up to shoot him, he sees that Ray is about to commit suicide with a pistol.  Ken shouts to Ray and prevents the suicide.

Needles to say in the next moments Ray explains how guilty he feels about the death of the child and Ken explains why he was running up behind Ray with a drawn pistol.  After a protracted discussion Ken decides that he can’t kill Ray and tells him to get on a train and disappear into the European hinterlands to avoid being rubbed out by Harry.  As Ray leaves Ken speaks to Harry on the phone and tells him he’s let Ray go.  Ray goes ballistic and smashes up the phone in his home and screams abuse and profanity at his wife and children.  He informs her that he is headed to Bruges on a matter of “honor.”

Back on the train Ray is apprehended by the police for injuring Eirik with his own pistol and is jailed in Bruges.  Eventually Chloë bails him out and he spends the day with her walking around town.  When Harry arrives, he and Ken climb to the top of a local church tower and once there Harry orders Ken to shoot it out with him.  But Ken refuses.  He puts his gun down and tells Harry to what he needs to.  Harry raves and abuses Ken but tells Ken he can’t kill him because he recognizes that Ken is doing what he believes is right.  But he still shoots Ken in the leg out of blind anger.  While up in the tower Harry finds out that Ray and Chloë are sitting on a bench at the bottom of the tower.  Harry leaves Ken in the tower and runs down to kill Ray.  But before Harry can reach Ray, Ken jumps off the high tower and with his dying breath tells Ray that Harry has come to kill him.

Ray flees from Harry and reaches his hotel room to retrieve his gun.  The pregnant hotel owner refuses to get out of Harry’s way when he demands to go up to kill Ray in his room.  Ray tells Harry that he will jump out of his room window into the canal so that Harry won’t have to shoot past the hotel owner.  Ray jumps into the canal and lands on a barge passing by.  Harry fires and strikes Ray in the chest.  Ray gets off the barge and staggers through the streets and finds himself inside the movie set.  The dwarf Jimmy is dressed as a young schoolboy.  Ray continues to stumble through the street and eventually Harry catches up to him and shoots him twice more in the back.  But one of the bullets exits Ray’s body and strikes Jimmy in the head.  When Harry reaches Ray, he sees Jimmy and thinks he has killed a child.  He says, “So that’s what it’s like.”  Ray tries to tell Harry that Jimmy isn’t a child but is too weak from his injuries.  Then Harry takes his gun and shoots himself in the mouth.  The movie ends with Ray narrating that if he survives the shooting, he will find the family of the boy he killed and perform whatever punishment they demand of him.  He also muses over whether hell is being stuck in Bruges forever.  And he does admit he hopes he lives.

Saying this is a black comedy is an understatement.  But make no mistake, comedy is exactly what it is intended to be.  The movie is laced with sarcasm, irony and comical scenes and dialog that plays on the outrageous and callous behavior of Ray and most of the other cast.  Ken seems to be the closest thing to a normal human being in the movie.  He spares Ray and then lays down his own life to save him.  But surprisingly both Ray and Harry also both seem to have one limit to their ruthlessness.  They seem to recognize the sanctity of innocent children.  This movie is bizarre.  I won’t pretend that it doesn’t have many faults.  It’s laced with profanity, loaded with sociopathic behavior and provides a somewhat sympathetic portrayal of gangsters and other assorted low lives.  But it does tell a compelling story of two men who have some sparks of humanity mixed in with their brutal careers.  Recommended for fans of gangster movies who are not easily offended by gratuitous violence and coarseness.

The League of Gentlemen (1960) – A Movie Review

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This is an English bank heist film.  And it’s a good one.

(Spoiler Alert – Skip down to last paragraph to avoid spoilers and read recommendation)

The movie opens up with a man emerging from a London manhole cover dressed in proper evening attire and driving away in a Rolls Royce.  That should set the tone for the movie.  This same man, retired Lieutenant-Colonel Norman Hyde, is next seen cutting some five-pound banknotes in half and mailing the halves along with a paperback book about a bank heist called the “Golden Fleece” to seven different men.  Next, we meet each of these men as they receive their packages.  Each is a retired military officer.

Major Peter Race is now living as a down on his luck gambler.

Captain “Padre” Mycroft is a confidence man pretending to be a vicar.

Lieutenant Edward Lexy, played by a much younger Richard Attenborough, is an electronics technician who does side jobs “fixing slot machines for racketeers to shortchange the winners.

Captain Martin Porthill is a gigolo living off the largesse from middle-aged women

Captain Stevens is a homosexual masseuse.

Major Rupert Rutland-Smith is a piano player barely getting by.

Captain Frank Weaver is an unhappily married man.

Hyde is contacting each of them because they were dishonorably discharged from the military and therefore unable to make a good living in the civilian world.  He wants to offer them a share in a bank heist that he is planning.  Each of them has an expertise that will contribute to the success of his military style mission to rob a bank of a million pounds from which each will get an equal share.  One is an expert in explosives, another in communications, another a procurement expert who can forge car and truck license plates.  Two of them are combat veterans who are well trained in crowd control and unafraid to kill.  One is adept at hotwiring and stealing cars.  All have a desire to escape their present lives and live happily ever off of one enormous payday.

They all sign on with Major Race as Hyde’s second in command.  Their first objective is to steal enough weapons and explosives from a British military base to outfit the heist.  The men follow an ingenious plan of Hyde’s to decoy the personnel of the base with a phony inspection by top brass while the rest of the crew pillage the arsenal.

After this success the team moves forward on the plan.  They steal the vehicles they’ll need for the robbery.  They assemble the explosives and the jamming devices.  And they work out the schedule down to the minute.  And as soon as the armored car leaves the bank and turns the corner, the team springs the trap.  The utility shafts that house the alarm and phone lines are blown, the air outside the bank is filled with dense smoke and the team raids the bank brandishing machine guns.  They quickly wheel away the cart from the armored car delivery with the twenty boxes each containing fifty thousand pounds and escape with the money.

But completely coincidentally a little boy had copied down the license plate number of the getaway truck.  Later that day we see Hyde distributing the money to the team at his hideout.  The mood is celebratory.  One by one the team members take their cut of the loot and leave.  When only Hyde and Race are left, a call comes in on the telephone.  It’s Scotland Yard and they order them to come out and give themselves up.  Hyde demands to know which of the team turned them in.  Instead, they find out about the little boy and the license plates.

When they are escorted into the police-wagon we see the rest of the team already captured and manacled together.

I found this old bank heist movie a hidden gem.  I’d never heard of it and despite its “ancient” origin it was very well done, both in terms of the acting and the heist details.  The camaraderie of these total strangers is somewhat reminiscent of such military movies as “The Dirty Dozen” and “The Great Escape.”  But in this case the battle is a crime.  I highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes a good heist movie and to the general viewer of quality cinema.