Forsaking my usual patron deity, the great goddess Atrophia, I made a burnt offering of 2X4s and a mitre box at the altar of Δόμος Επίδοσις, The Muse of Home Improvement. The smoke was propitious. An eagle flew from left to right across the sky and dropped a 3/8″ hex head socket at my feet which I took as a sign from Zeus that all was well. Filling my chariot with lag bolts, drill bits, pry bars, extension cords, two throwing spears and a two-ply bull-hide shield I thundered onto the plain of battle prepared to perform mighty deeds of valor.
My enemies fled before the baleful fire that flashed from my eyes. I grabbed my weapons, jumped from the chariot and attacked on the run. Within an hour I was victorious. All my enemies were vanquished and I raised a trophy of the spoils of war. Epic bards and rhapsodes will sing the praises of this day for millennia to come. Go pound sand, Achilles.
Translation:
That fence post support worked like a charm. The post is straight and solid as a rock. And the steel should last long after I’m mulch in the ground. But there was no parade. No hecatombs burned in my honor. Sometimes it barely pays to be a demi-god.
