I was just reading an article that was supposed to explain how unfunny “comedians” were really very funny in the new meaning of funny, which means they are “saying something important.” Anyway, unsurprisingly, I wasn’t convinced. Unfortunately, halfway into the article they started talking about some non-binary comic. And the writer started talking about “They said this” and “the audience reacted to them.” After a few seconds I realized that the writer was referring to some one guy wearing a dress as them.
I don’t call one person “them.” I don’t even do it when there is just the indeterminacy of where we don’t know if it’s a man or a woman. I say, him. If it turns out to be a woman, so be it. But I sure as hell am not going to use a plural pronoun for anything that only has one head on its shoulders. The world is screwed up enough already without us forgetting the difference between one and two.
So here I am in the land of the pronouns. I understand in Canada you can go to jail for using the wrong pronouns. Isn’t that wonderful! I guess I’m waiting for the day when someone tells me his pronouns and expects me to go along with the joke. I’ve already figured out what my action will be. I’ll just walk away. And that’ll be that.
The way I look at it these are hostage situations. Your sanity is being held hostage by someone who is imposing on your sense of politeness. Frankly that’s not someone I want to talk to. If someone asks me my pronouns I’ll say, “Guess.” If they guess wrong then that’s not someone I want to talk to anyway.
Let’s face it, this is all a big game of intimidation these people are playing. Knuckling under to humor them is a big mistake. I remember about twenty years ago a manager at a company I was consulting at told me that the company had gone to gender neutral English. I just ignored her. And four or five years later I was in a meeting when I said “he” in the context of someone performing some work function. At the meeting there was this progressive dweeb that no one could stand and he shouts out, “You mean they!” I replied, “No, the job description requires one person to do the task. “They” implies more than one. That will confuse the operators.” He continued to argue but the moderator forced us to move on. That was the only time that I had to discuss pronouns with the Left.
Luckily, I’ve moved into a place in this world where no one is policing my speech and I intend to keep it that way. When I write fiction, I also avoid gender neutral phrasing. I feel the King’s English as it was taught to me by the good nuns at my grammar school is still good enough for these fallen times.
And I look forward to the time when we come to terms with men who wear dresses and want to compete in women’s sports. Reality is that thing that bites you on the butt when you pretend it doesn’t exist. One of these days we will get up the courage to tell these people that their mental illnesses do not compel normal people to pretend things that aren’t so. If a man wants to wear a wig and a dress and mutilate himself that doesn’t compel me to call him ma’am. In fact, I think it means I can decide to exclude him from my life altogether. That’s called freedom of association or maybe freedom of disassociation. Both work. See, I’m flexible.