Today I heard the crushing news that “Bros” had crashed at the box office in its first week of release. This first of its kind sexually explicit gay romantic comedy only took in $4.8 MM on its first weekend. Shocker, right? I mean who wouldn’t be lined up to see romantic misunderstandings and men buggering each other on the big screen. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll throw up. And even if you’re a guy and rom-coms aren’t your thing why wouldn’t you let the little lady take you for a date movie to see love and monkey pox triumph.
I immediately blamed homophobia. After all, the movie has a 91% critic’s score on Rotten Tomatoes and a Cinemascore from audiences of A. What else could account for normal people skipping out on this entertainment treat? All kidding aside, who did the makers of this film think would be going to see it? Basically, gay men. Normal men have exactly zero interest in this thing. Normal women aren’t lining up to watch men sodomize each other. Even lesbians have no desire to see what these guys do to each other. I guess to be fair, although it’s not a huge audience, bisexual men might show up too. But then that’s it.
The movie cost $22MM to make and then you’ve got to add in the advertising budget. Let’s say tickets are ten bucks each then all it takes is four million gay men to go see it and it’s at least at break even. Surely there are four million gays in America. They seem to be everywhere you look. So, if the movie is tanking then it follows as the night follows day that it must be because most gay men in America are homophobes.
I know it’s hard to believe but there’s no way around it. Maybe something can be done on social media. Some kind of non-fungible token (NFT) could be displayed by gay men to prove that they’ve gone to see Bros at least once. And anyone not displaying the NFT on his twitter feed should be driven out of the LGBTQ community and forced to wear a MAGA hat in public.
These people make me laugh. They expect to get people to go see this crap. Sure, they force everybody to pretend to approve of this stuff at work and school. But people go to the movies to be entertained. They don’t want to be miserable there. Only masochists and humorless scolds go to a movie to prove a point. I wouldn’t be surprised if a good chunk of the “gay community” aren’t interested in this movie either.
So maybe this will be a teachable moment for the Left. People can be bullied into paying lip service to things they dislike but that doesn’t mean they’ve been brainwashed into really believing the propaganda. So, if sexually explicit gay romantic comedies are something they want available then by all means let them pay the hundred-dollar ticket price that would make that economically viable. I’m guessing $75 for popcorn would be about right. Free refills!