Tag: Greenland

Rename it Trumpland

photog Current Events, Trump , ,

Trump had a press conference about opening up Venezuela to American Oil Companies.  Of course it was full of “Trump speak;” the greatest this, the greatest that, etc.  But what it came down to is Trump is telling the Venezuelans that American oil companies will be returning to Venezuela and will be under the protection of the American military.  That’s pretty damn good.

These companies had all of their oil extraction and processing equipment seized when Communist Hugo Chávez became the leader in Venezuela.  He nationalized the industry and it proceeded to fall apart.  Instead of engineers the industry was handed over to political hacks.  They brought in the Cubans to help them and they proved that they could make a fabulously oil rich country into a basket case in just a decade or so.

Of course, Trump didn’t provide a lot of the details on how these things will be arranged.  But based on how things worked before Chávez botched it up, the oil companies and Venezuela will both make lots of money.  And all of that extracted oil will lower the price of American gasoline and oil by quite a bit once it’s going strong.

As I said, “Trump speak” is maddening.  It’s like listening to one of Muhammed Ali’s jibber-jabber brag sessions before his fights.  Everything is over the top and outrageous but the results are there.  Ali was the greatest fighter of his generation and Trump is the only President in forty years to actually produce the results he promised.  So, I’ll let him have his bragging session and then I’ll look for a translation into English and the bottom line.  He’s pretty smart.  Increasing oil production (enormously) will have a major positive effect on consumer costs in the United States.  And the revenues that these oil companies will gain will also improve our GDP.  And capturing Maduro let’s Latin America know that Trump doesn’t play games with tin-pot dictators shipping fentanyl to this country.  I expect to see positive results in Mexico and maybe even China because of this.

Okay so where does that leave us with Iran and Ukraine and Greenland?  Well, I may have underestimated the people of Iran.  The actions there have grown from protests to open rebellion.  They’re burning down police stations and IRGC barracks and so far, the military doesn’t seem to be able to stop it.  The size of the crowds is staggering.  There are literally millions of people in the streets of dozens of large cities.  I think the Ayatollah is going to take a plane ride to Moscow and join Assad in the section of Moscow reserved for former Middle Eastern dictators in retirement.  It looks that active.

Ukraine is hopeless.  The Russians and Ukrainians will fight to the last man.  God help them all.

Now what the hell are we going to do with Greenland?  Military bases, oil and mineral extraction?  Ice for drinks?  Trump says he wants to buy it.  I mean, who figures out a fair price for Greenland?  But as I’ve said, after you get finished with the bluster get a translation into English and chances are you’ll discover that Trump is right about Greenland too.  But what do you bet he wants to rename it Trumpland?

Cut and Paste Anglo-America

photog Country Music Reviews, Current Events, Music Reviews , ,

So, everybody’s been talking about Trump’s let’s-make-a-deal ideas about Greenland and Canada.  I’ll leave the Panama Canal out of this because that’s more of a strategic situation.  But Canada and Greenland are a very interesting opportunity.  All of that northern real estate really makes a lot of sense if the world really is warming, for whatever reason.  Northern Canada and even Greenland might be the new North American breadbasket.  And the mineral wealth of the north is currently incalculably large.

Now some Canadians have been outraged at Trump’s talk about a 51st state.  One Canadian legislator took a shot back and said that California, Oregon and Washington would be better off leaving the US and becoming a part of Canada.  Well, that has its advantages for both sides.  And it inspired me to think about the US and Canada getting together and doing some real horse-trading that would better align the red and blue parts of Anglo-America into two more homogeneous groupings.  Basically, I imagined Canada adding the American Northeast, part of the Great Lakes States and the West Coast while America gets the Rocky Mountain, Plains and Arctic provinces and territories from Canada.  Oh, and we paint Greenland red too.

Think of it.  No more wrangling every four years during the elections.  All of the blue states and the blue provinces together feeling smug and virtuous.  While the red states and provinces will be rid of them and free to enjoy life on our own terms without their constant complaining, lunacy and hypocrisy.

Basically, we would lose about a third of our population but double the size of the country.   They would more than triple their population while losing about a third of the area that was Canada.  But there would be so much more temperate climate than in old Canada that I can’t imagine they’d complain much about it.  One slight problem, their territory would no longer be one contiguous area.  There would be East Coast Wokistan and West Coast Wokistan but what’s a few plane flights between friends?  Plus, they’re bound to start a feud between themselves and that will just give them an excuse to break into two pieces anyway.

So, there it is.  A big beautiful deal just waiting to be brokered by the world’s biggest wheeler-dealer.  Come on make it happen.

 

Region Population Area (square miles)
Current United States of America 335,073,176 3,796,676
Current Canada 41,288,599 3,855,103
Current Greenland 56,583 836,330
New and Improved USA 233,003,747 6,290,802
Whatever is Left Over 143,414,611 2,197,307

Below is an ersatz map of what the two new countries would look like.

 

Below this is the details of the area and populations of the component states and provinces that I used for the calculations above.

Current Regions
Region Population Area (square miles)
 Alabama 5,157,699 52,420
 Alaska 740,133 665,384
 Arizona 7,582,384 113,990
 Arkansas 3,088,354 53,179
 Colorado 5,957,493 104,094
 Delaware 1,051,917 2,489
 District of Columbia 702,250 68
 Florida 23,372,215 65,758
 Georgia 11,180,878 59,425
 Hawaii 1,446,146 10,932
 Idaho 2,001,619 83,569
 Indiana 6,924,275 36,420
 Iowa 3,241,488 56,273
 Kansas 2,970,606 82,278
 Kentucky 4,588,372 40,408
 Louisiana 4,597,740 52,378
 Maryland 6,263,220 12,406
 Michigan 10,140,459 96,714
 Mississippi 2,943,045 48,432
 Missouri 6,245,466 69,707
 Montana 1,137,233 147,040
 Nebraska 2,005,465 77,348
 Nevada 3,267,467 110,572
 New Mexico 2,130,256 121,590
 North Carolina 11,046,024 53,819
 North Dakota 796,568 70,698
 Ohio 11,883,304 44,826
 Oklahoma 4,095,393 69,899
 Pennsylvania 13,078,751 46,054
 South Carolina 5,478,831 32,020
 South Dakota 924,669 77,116
 Tennessee 7,227,750 42,144
 Texas 31,290,831 268,596
 Utah 3,503,613 84,897
 Virginia 8,811,195 42,775
 West Virginia 1,769,979 24,230
 Wisconsin 5,960,975 65,496
 Wyoming 587,618 97,813
Manitoba 1,494,301 250,116
Saskatchewan 1,239,865 251,366
Alberta 4,888,723 255,541
Northwest Territories 44,731 519,734
Yukon 46,704 186,272
Nunavut 41,159 808,185
Greenland 56,583 836,330
New and Improved USA 233,003,747 6,290,802
 California 39,431,263 163,695
 Connecticut 3,675,069 5,543
 Illinois 12,710,158 57,914
 Maine 1,405,012 35,380
 Massachusetts 7,136,171 10,554
 Minnesota 5,793,151 86,936
 New Hampshire 1,409,032 9,349
 New Jersey 9,500,851 8,723
 New York 19,867,248 54,555
 Oregon 4,272,371 98,379
 Rhode Island 1,112,308 1,545
 Vermont 648,493 9,616
 Washington 7,958,180 71,298
Ontario 16,124,116 415,598
Quebec 9,056,044 595,391
Nova Scotia 1,076,374 21,345
New Brunswick 854,355 28,150
British Columbia 5,698,430 364,764
Prince Edward Island 178,550 2,185
Newfoundland and Labrador 545,247 156,453
Whatever is Left Over 143,414,611 2,197,307

 

Canada, Greenland, Panama Canal.  Deal or No Deal?

photog Current Events, Humor, Trump , ,

When I was a kid one of my best friends was crazy.  He was wired so that whenever the opportunity arose, he was ready and willing to poke a beehive (metaphorically).  He possessed a razor-sharp wit that had only one track; hilariously cruel mockery.  He could mimic and belittle anyone or anything.  The problem was he never selected his targets based on the blowback he could expect.  And so there were very serious consequences; beatings, expulsions from schools and youth organizations and vendettas of various sorts.

I think Donald Trump has a similar knack.  Going all the way back to the days of “Little Marco” Rubio and “low energy” Jeb, Trump has demonstrated that making his opponents look ridiculous is completely in his wheelhouse.  Does this explain his recent statements about annexing or buying Canada, Greenland and the Panama Canal Zone?

I guess we’ll have to try and sort these things out.

Let’s start with Canada.  For starters, geographically speaking Canada is the second largest country on planet Earth.  With a population of about 40,000,000 it’s only slightly more populous than California and it is mostly quite cold.  But it obviously has plenty of natural resources and potential.  But it is kind of a real country so how exactly does it become part of the United States?  Well, obviously it doesn’t.  Right now, the Justin Trudeau and his Liberal Party are the extremely unpopular majority party with him as prime minster.  After the various COVID debacles and the following downturn in the economy, the Conservatives are expected to win the 2025 elections and send Trudeau packing.  Now I have to assume that any Canadian politician who gave a positive response to this suggestion by Trump would be voted out of office during the next election.  Who knows, maybe the Canadian parliament might vote to impeach him immediately just to punish such a thing.  But I don’t think there’s a chance in the world of Canada agreeing to join the United States unless the Gates of Hell opened up in Ottawa and it was the only way to prevent their annihilation.  So why would Trump say such a thing.  Of course, because he was taunting Trudeau.  And in this case what could be the consequences to him?  None.  Canada has no leverage over the United States and serves as the impotent straight man to any jibes that Trump cares to make.  So, let’s just say this one is just rhetoric.  It’s just like my boyhood friend exhibiting a penitent for cruel mockery.

Then how about Greenland?  Now this is a totally different animal.  It is the largest island in the world but only about 50,000 people live there, mostly Inuit.  Apparently, Denmark; the current owner of the island doesn’t know what to do with it.  They have white guilt over colonizing it a thousand years ago and want to give it back to the Inuit.  So, Trump talking about buying it is actually a doable thing.  Currently most of it is covered by glaciers.  But if the ice continues to melt the way it is going someday this could be a very valuable piece of real estate.  Also, the probable quantities of natural resources (including fresh water) are almost incalculable.  So, let’s call this one more than just rhetoric.  Let’s attribute it to Trump’s love of a good deal at a good price.  I think he’s serious about this one.

Now, what about the Panama Canal Zone?  I think we can call this saber rattling against the Chinese.  Chinese commercial interests in Panama may be related to very large increases in the cost of using the canal for shipping.  Saying we should take it back may be Trump’s way of threatening the Chinese with a fight they can’t win if they take advantage of American companies using the canal.  Does that mean he wouldn’t actually take back the canal by force?  Well, nothing is impossible but I would rate it as extremely unlikely.  Blockading it, on the other hand, might be something he would do.  So, let’s call this one a special case where the rhetoric has some basis in reality.

And finally, what other bargains remain out there for Donald Trump to annex?  Mexico?  Australia?  Japan?  Well, who can say?  Mexico would actually make some sense.  Not as a state but as a protectorate.  We could crush the drug gangs and rebuild Mexico as a client state with our own puppet government installed to allow for its people to live decent lives.  But honestly it would be more work than it would be worth to us.  Better to build a wall four hundred feet tall and a hundred feet deep with laser-armed drones guarding it.

And the rest of the world?  Look we have enough problems with our own people.  Mr. Trump, I know you like a deal but how about just reclaiming our own country.  Is it a deal?

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