Musings in the Mother Ship

In the alien spaceship approaching the mothership:

David:  Head straight for it.

Steve:  What the hell?

David:  Don’t touch them.  Don’t, don’t, don’t!  I was counting on this.  They are bringing us in.

Steve:  When the hell was you gonna tell me?

David:  Oops.

Steve:  We’ve got to work on our communication.

Seeing the troops inside the mother ship

David:  Oh, my God!  Look at that!  There must be thousands of them.

Steve:  Millions of them. What the hell are they doing?

David:  Looks like they’re preparing an invasion.

The ship docks with the alien command center and David attempts to upload his virus into the alien control system.

David:  (CLAPS)  We’re in.  (SIGHS)  Do it. Do it. Do it.

Back on Earth:

General:  Sir, he’s uploading the virus.  Eagle One, the package is being delivered.  Stand by!

In the Alien spaceship:

David:  Oh yeah, oh yeah! One more step.

Suddenly the screen flashes a message in the alien text.  David pushes several keys and the message resolves into English, “INPUT PASSWORD.”  David lets out a strangled scream and says:

David:  Steve we’re cooked.  I have no idea what to enter.

Steve:  Just write password in lower case.

David:  That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.  We know nothing of their language or software rules.

Steve:  Yeah, well then how the hell were you able to write a virus that would work in their system?

David:  Well, that’s a good point.  Let’s see, p a s s w o r d.  Good heavens it worked!

Steve:  Of course it worked.  There’s only twenty minutes left in the movie.  We have a few threats left like the ship docking lock that won’t release and then the pursuit by the three alien interceptor craft and finally the debris field created by the nuclear explosion in the mother ship and then we’ll be home free to the heroes’ welcome where the pretty girls jump into our arms and kiss us.

David:  Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.  Tell me does Randy Quaid manage to earn the respect of his stepson by saving the day during the fight against the alien ship back on Earth.

Steve:  Yes, but he dies sacrificing his life to destroy the ship by crashing into the alien ship’s primary weapon.

David:  Well, that’s probably for the better.  He was a very silly and annoying character.  After all, if he really had been abducted by the aliens why would he still be alive?

Steve:  Good point.  Do you think we’ll get to be in the sequel in twenty years?

David:  Well, I will be.  By then I’ll be looking for an easy paycheck to retire on but you’ll be a much bigger star and won’t want your name associated with the kind of cheesy project that a sequel to this goofy movie will likely be.

Steve:  Yeah, I think you’re right.  I’ll probably concentrate on high end projects directed by Steven Spielberg.  Of course, I’ll leave space for the occasional sequel to “Bad Boys.”  You shouldn’t forget what got you to the dance.

David:  Yeah, I’m hoping to make at least one more sequel to “The Fly” one of these days.

Steve:  Oy!

Jurassic World Dominion – A Science Fiction Movie Review

I brought my two oldest grandsons to see the new Jurassic Park movie, “Jurassic World Dominion.” Based on the previous outings we all expected the movie to be full of exciting, frenetic action and very deficient in plot. But we plunked down our ducats and endured the half hour of coming attractions.

Well, they threw everything including the kitchen sink into this potboiler. They brought back Jeff Goldblum, Laura Dern and Sam Neill to reprise their characters from the original Jurassic Park film. They had some ridiculous plot about a cloned girl who was produced by parthenogenesis (virgin birth) by the granddaughter of Richard Attenborough’s character John Hammond from the first movie. Then they added an evil corporation producing giant locusts to eat up the world’s food supply to corner the market on genetically modified crops.

Then there were intrigues and kidnappings. There was Chris Pratt lassoing dinosaurs in the snow of Montana and other equally absurd scenarios. Finally, all of the good characters, old and new, band together to defeat the evil corporation and as a capstone the same small dinosaurs that ate Wayne Knight’s character Dennis Nedry in the original Jurassic Park, eat the evil CEO in this movie. What could be better than that?

Well, the movie was a hot mess. But dinosaurs are chasing people and even eating a few so what else could I ask from a Jurassic Park sequel? Afterwards, over some burgers and fries we agreed that it was ridiculous but highly satisfactory for our needs on this family movie outing.

But if someone is looking for an intelligent summer movie this is not that movie. It’s strictly an exercise in summer blockbuster sequel abuse. Well at least they must be finished with Goldblum, Dern and Neill. That at least is something.

Independence Day – A Science Fiction Movie Review

I have never reviewed the movie Independence Day.  It may seem as though I have because I have used the movie setting as the background for four parts of a Trump vs Independence Day post.  In any case it’s time for me to rectify the deficiency.  I’ll start out by declaring that I have a love/hate relationship with the film.  There are numerous strengths and weaknesses to the movie that cry out for mention.  So, let’s do that.

The concept of Earth being invaded by space-aliens intent on exterminating the human race is almost as old as science fiction itself.  H. G. Wells wrote War of the Worlds well over a hundred years ago.  In the era of modern science fiction the concept has been done and redone.  And there have been two film versions of War of the Worlds.  But Independence Day broke new ground in the tradition.  By the 1990s special effects had progressed far enough along so that the images from Independence Day of New York, Washington and Los Angeles being obliterated were groundbreaking in their impact.  Seeing the energy weapon explode the Empire State Building and then unleash a super-heated shock wave throughout Manhattan was at the time remarkable.  Even today, the destruction scenes are visually impressive.  The visual effects for the alien ship are also well done.  The aliens themselves I would say are more of a mixed bag.  They have some interesting features but just didn’t seem all that scary.  All in all, I’d say that the CGI and other technical effects stand up pretty well to present day expectations.

Next up is the cast.  Will Smith, who plays Marine pilot Capt. Steve Hiller, would of course now be considered the biggest name in the cast.  Back then though, Jeff Goldblum coming off his part in Jurassic Park would have been the more prominent star.  He plays David Levinson an electronics genius and ex-husband of President Pullman’s Chief of Staff.  Both of these guys get plenty of screen time.  Bill Pullman plays President Tom Whitmore and has about equal importance with Smith and Goldblum in the story line.  Other memorable parts are portrayed by Randy Quaid as Russell Casse, Robert Loggia as General Grey, Adam Baldwin as Major Mitchell and Judd Hirsch as Julius Levinson, David’s father.  Most of the humor in the movie are provided by Randy Quaid and Judd Hirsch but there is a general humorous atmosphere in the film despite the catastrophic nature of the action.

The plot of the movie has an enormous alien space craft arriving in earth orbit from which smaller city-sized ships fly down and hover over Washington D.C, New York City and Los Angeles in the United States and the other largest cities around the world.  David Levinson figures out that the space craft is preparing to launch a simultaneous attack on all the target cities around the world.  Once the attack destroys these cities the President and his advisors counter-attack with military aircraft but the alien ships have force fields that turn the counter attack into a disaster.  After this the personal stories of the three main characters and their loved ones are skillfully blended with the race to find some way to stop the aliens from systematically wiping out the entire human race.  And of course, the decisive battle occurs on the Fourth of July.

So, what’s the verdict?  As I mentioned at the beginning I have a love/hate relationship with the film.  But on balance I consider the movie a success.  The cast is for the most part likeable.  The plot is undeniably exciting.  And the resolution is almost completely satisfying.  I have some quibbles about messaging by the David Levinson character about the use of nuclear weapons and environmental crap.  And the President gets a little too globalist during the pep speech before the world-wide battle at the end of the movie.  Saying that from now on the Fourth of July would be a world-wide holiday was pretty annoying.  But for the most part it’s a good movie and has lots of great action, heroism and even some excellent comedy.  Highly recommended.