I guess the consolation prize I get for living in a banana republic is watching “El Presidente” swagger his way around in front of the peasants. Well, apparently el jefe hasn’t had a lot of practice swaggering lately because of the COVID lockdown. Swaggering has turned into staggering and Dopey Joe almost did himself in on the staircase for Air Force One. Watch this.
He fell down three times. Of course, he didn’t roll down the entire staircase like some Inspector Clouseau or Groucho Marx routine, but hopefully that will come later. I’m waiting for Jen Psaki to explain to us that the cause of the stairs mishap was white supremacists. Hopefully the FBI is on the case and will soon round up the saboteurs and wreckers who were responsible for the assassination attempt. Obviously, the steps were booby trapped. I expect in the future President Biden will be loaded onto Air Force One in a cargo net. Of course, he’ll need to be bubble wrapped and packed in foam peanuts but if they only pack him up to his armpits with his arms out, he can still salute the military guards and maintain his dignity.
So, at this point we have a commander in chief who cannot remember words like Department of Defense or the names of the major cabinet secretaries. He can’t speak coherently and now he can’t walk up a flight of stairs. It’s kind of exciting trying to guess what will be next. Crude jokes about various bodily functions should be avoided but honestly, I know everyone is thinking exactly that.
I guess it’s possible if they want him to be able to keep this masquerade going for more than a few months that they will restrict all his appearances to scripted speeches using a teleprompter and avoiding any direct question and answer periods. Or they could replace Meat Biden with an Animatronic Biden. I’m sure if Google and Elon Musk worked together, they could have Biden 2.0 ready for use within a year or so. It might look and sound a little different from Meat Biden, a little too coherent and gaffe free but it would serve its purpose. After all nobody really believes Dementia Joe is either the legitimate president or even a minimally competent one. They just need him to last for a little over two years so they can bring in Kamalarris the Blubbering Hysteric to rule us by conniption.
Well, let’s at least enjoy the show for however long Joe can keep this Curley Howard routine going. Why not? Hopefully no one is seriously thinking that Washington is a real government anymore, right?