Month: August 2024

The Compound has been invaded by an army.  They have occupied many of the high points and they have laid siege to the citadel.  Actually, I have a contractor doing major surgery on the foundations of an extension of the main building that was rotting out.  The floor of a room had rotted away and the only reasonable solution was to replace a column-on-pier foundation with a poured slab.  Suffice it to say that it is fiendishly expensive and extremely ticklish construction in that the three stories on that part of the building will need to be jacked up off the piers and the columns truncated to accommodate the new height of the foundation which will also be the new floor for that room.  I daily expect the whole building to collapse like Barad-dûr after the destruction of the One Ring.  Poor Sauron.  A ring makes a damn poor foundation for a tall structure like that tower.

But while all this is going on I’m kept amused at just how little insurance companies are willing to admit is within the scope of their policies.  Regardless of how much we pay in premiums their responsibilities are hemmed in by endless deductibles and limitations on liability.  Their favorite retort to almost anything I say is, “You’re not covered for that.”  It’s to the point I’d almost hope that a catastrophe would be truly apocalyptic so that I could see them cower at the size of their payout.  But deep down I know I would still be the loser.  You can’t beat these people.  Compared to them the Mafia are boy scouts.  Poor Sauron.  I’ll bet he got nothing from his insurance company when the Barad-dûr came crashing down.  They probably had a waiver for unforeseen termite or hobbit damage.

So daily I have to reassure Camera Girl that when all this is over, she’ll still have a roof over her head and enough money to buy us pumpernickel bagels.  She is extremely allergic to large checks.  In fact, she insists that I write all of them because that way it’s my fault.  In some sense I guess she’s right.  If it had been up to her, we’d still be living in an apartment in Brooklyn.  I guess in that sense she is the true conservative in the family.

When the dumpster arrived, Camera Girl was hopeful that the builder would allow her to use the dumpster to get rid of some of her least favorite debris.  We have a collection of yard junk that she hates with a passion; garden hoses, wire fencing, a couple of old garden swings and a large pool warming cover that is flaking apart.  I opined that the dumpster would be completely filled and probably filled again before the builder was finished but hope springs eternal.  But then I told her that she could get her own dumpster for less than what a contractor would charge her for interfering in his operation and that seemed to work.  She hates being charged more for anything.  She is a very frugal woman (thank heaven).

I wonder who got the contract to remediate the site of the Barad-dûr collapse.  After all that had to be some serious toxic waste.  I’m guessing it would have been dwarves that took the work.  They worked in metal and stone.  Surely, they could salvage something from the rubble pile.  Maybe they could turn it into Section 8 housing for unemployed orcs.  I mean live and let live, right?

Those who call houses money pits are completely justified.  Unless you yourself are a jack of all trades, the liabilities of owning a home are staggering.  But the alternative of renting is even worse.  I completely sympathize with the Millennials and Zoomers who are confronting the herculean task of trying to buy a home in Joe Biden’s America.  But without home ownership how can you truly know the joy of having someone knock your house down just to rebuild it at great expense.  God bless America.