Not So Forbidden Planet

Dr. Morbius – Young man, my daughter is going to be terribly punished for what she just said.

J J Adams – Dr Morbius, don’t you understand it’s your subconscious that is responsible for all this death and destruction?

Dr. Morbius – What, me harm my own daughter.

J J Adams – Well, look at those gages.  Your subconscious monster will use whatever amount of unlimited power it takes to break through that door.

Dr. Morbius – I’m helpless to stop this terrible power.

Altaira – John please do something.

J J Adams – Alright I will.  (draws his sidearm and fatally wounds Dr Morbius who falls to the ground)

(The gages of the Krell machine quickly settle down to minimal levels and the door that was white hot cools visibly.)

Dr. Morbius – Son, throw that switch.

J J Adams – What will it do?

Dr. Morbius – It will initiate a chain reaction inside the Krell thermonuclear power plants that will unstoppably consume the planet in a miniature nova.  The Krell technology is too dangerous for humanity.  It must be destroyed.

J J Adams – Sorry Dr Morbius, I disagree.  The technology they possessed was too dangerous for them and for you.  But we’ll harvest the Krell knowledge without unleashing any subconscious monsters and I predict we’ll do just fine.

(Morbius expires)

Altaira – John, what do we do now?

J J Adams – Our first problem is how to get out of here.  That door will be cool soon but it’s probably permanently welded shut.  I’ll contact my crew and we’ll provide a funeral ceremony for your father and Doc.  Afterwards we’ll get back in touch with Earth and begin the start of the project to decipher the Krell technology.  That will be the largest step change in human knowledge since the discovery of the faster than light drive.  It will take tens of thousands of scientists and engineers centuries to mine all of the knowledge here.

Altaira – But what will become of me?

J J Adams – That depends on what you want to do.  If you want to stay on Altair IV, you will have many opportunities to press your legal right to some kind of remuneration for the government’s seizure of the Krell technology.  I’d say you may end up as one of the wealthiest humans in the galaxy.

Altaira – But what about us?

J J Adams – Well Alta, a starship captain doesn’t make enough of a salary to impress an heiress but if you can wait a year for a wedding I can most probably wangle a desk job on Altair IV and we can see whether your interest in biology is strictly academic or not.

Altaira – I’ll wait for you John.  I don’t want to leave my home.  But with my father gone I need someone to help me figure out my future.

J J Adams – Well, as I said I’ll be stuck here indefinitely while the military secures the Krell infrastructure.  So, you’ll get a chance to get to know me when I’m not killing your relatives or fighting invisible monsters.

(They embrace, kiss and then begin the search for a way out.)

Tom’s World – 13DEC2025 – Sony Trouble

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TomD

 

My A7IV is glitching badly on me. The nature of the glitch seems to change but the camera has approached unusability and times and exceeded it at times. Right now, I’m using my backup A6600..

The glitches started by ID’ing my Sony battery incorrectly as an aftermarket battery. Then the warning wouldn’t turn off and the camera was unusable. Right now, it starts taking pictures continuously on startup and won’t stop.

I talked to the shop where I bought it and they recommended a firmware update. I checked and found that since I downloaded 4.0, 5.0 and 6.0 have been issued. But then noticed that 6.0 was bricking cameras left and right and Sony had pulled it a couple of days after the intro. I figured that I could still update to 5.0 only to find that Sony has pulled ALL firmware updates until further notice which could be at least several weeks.

I wonder how long I can go without a main camera? And I especially wonder whether a firmware update will fix it. Logic tells me probably so.

I’ve noticed that the A7V has been issued at “only” $3,000 but I’ve also noticed that my photography level hasn’t increased apace with new and more sophisticated (and expensive) bodies. One big caveat to that, eye autofocus is now a MUST HAVE to me.

I’ve had Sony Alpha cameras since the A100 I bought 21-22 years ago and this is the 1st problem of any description from any of them. With my lenses, I’m irrevocably married to Sony now. If my IV model is screwed, it’s not a given that I’ll buy a V. A large percentage of my best shots were with the A850 but I couldn’t go back to that horrible high ISO performance and the autofocus performance would probably feel antediluvian.

Musings in the Mother Ship

In the alien spaceship approaching the mothership:

David:  Head straight for it.

Steve:  What the hell?

David:  Don’t touch them.  Don’t, don’t, don’t!  I was counting on this.  They are bringing us in.

Steve:  When the hell was you gonna tell me?

David:  Oops.

Steve:  We’ve got to work on our communication.

Seeing the troops inside the mother ship

David:  Oh, my God!  Look at that!  There must be thousands of them.

Steve:  Millions of them. What the hell are they doing?

David:  Looks like they’re preparing an invasion.

The ship docks with the alien command center and David attempts to upload his virus into the alien control system.

David:  (CLAPS)  We’re in.  (SIGHS)  Do it. Do it. Do it.

Back on Earth:

General:  Sir, he’s uploading the virus.  Eagle One, the package is being delivered.  Stand by!

In the Alien spaceship:

David:  Oh yeah, oh yeah! One more step.

Suddenly the screen flashes a message in the alien text.  David pushes several keys and the message resolves into English, “INPUT PASSWORD.”  David lets out a strangled scream and says:

David:  Steve we’re cooked.  I have no idea what to enter.

Steve:  Just write password in lower case.

David:  That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.  We know nothing of their language or software rules.

Steve:  Yeah, well then how the hell were you able to write a virus that would work in their system?

David:  Well, that’s a good point.  Let’s see, p a s s w o r d.  Good heavens it worked!

Steve:  Of course it worked.  There’s only twenty minutes left in the movie.  We have a few threats left like the ship docking lock that won’t release and then the pursuit by the three alien interceptor craft and finally the debris field created by the nuclear explosion in the mother ship and then we’ll be home free to the heroes’ welcome where the pretty girls jump into our arms and kiss us.

David:  Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.  Tell me does Randy Quaid manage to earn the respect of his stepson by saving the day during the fight against the alien ship back on Earth.

Steve:  Yes, but he dies sacrificing his life to destroy the ship by crashing into the alien ship’s primary weapon.

David:  Well, that’s probably for the better.  He was a very silly and annoying character.  After all, if he really had been abducted by the aliens why would he still be alive?

Steve:  Good point.  Do you think we’ll get to be in the sequel in twenty years?

David:  Well, I will be.  By then I’ll be looking for an easy paycheck to retire on but you’ll be a much bigger star and won’t want your name associated with the kind of cheesy project that a sequel to this goofy movie will likely be.

Steve:  Yeah, I think you’re right.  I’ll probably concentrate on high end projects directed by Steven Spielberg.  Of course, I’ll leave space for the occasional sequel to “Bad Boys.”  You shouldn’t forget what got you to the dance.

David:  Yeah, I’m hoping to make at least one more sequel to “The Fly” one of these days.

Steve:  Oy!

Me Robot

When I received the call from RoboDriver I had been lamenting the fact that I hadn’t received an offer for a date in seven years.  That’s why I prefer robots.  They’re a cleaner breed.  They never have dandruff.

I arrived at the plant where the incident had occurred.  This was the only manufacturing site for the Higgs bosonic brain.  Of course there was a reason for this.  The instability of this boson was so extreme that the robots were constantly in a state of nervous exhaustion and frequently flew into a rage and killed everyone around them.  As you might imagine this was seriously cutting into profits.

I entered the office of the CEO of RoboDriver and he said, “Thank you for your swift response, ma’am.”  I retorted, “I prefer to be addressed as Dr. Daystrom.  She/her.”  He replied, “Alright Dr. Daystrom-she-her.  We need to troubleshoot exactly why one of our robots went on a killing spree in downtown San Francisco today and come up with an action plan to solve the problem and convince our customers to use RoboDriver for all their driving needs.”

Gritting my teeth over his insulting greeting I said I would begin a thorough forensic investigation that would include interviews with all of the witnesses, review of all of the technical documents for the manufacturing and quality assurance records, a comprehensive search of all similar problems over the last twenty years and an electron microscopy examination of the Higgs bosonic brain of the killer robot.  He asked, “How long will that take?”  I answered, “About forty minutes.”  He was taken aback, “How could you possibly complete such an investigation in forty minutes?”

I replied, “Because there’s no need to do any of that.  Everybody knows that the Higgs bosonic brain has a 100% failure rate within one week of installation and of the 1,343 cases of robot committed homicides, 100% of them were robots possessing a Higgs bosonic brain.”  He said, “Oh.  Well, you have a point there.”  I followed up, “But you know that already.  Why does RoboDriver continue to use the Higgs bosonic brain when the US Robotics positronic brain has a stellar record of safety and longevity?  US Robotics licenses their technology and has a good reputation for working hand in glove with their partners.”

The CEO got up from his desk and shut the door to his office and walked over to my chair, cleared his throat and said in hushed tones, “The fact of the matter is we were the victims of a hostile takeover by a venture capital group that installed a cost-cutting program that identified the fact that licensing Higgs bosonic brains instead of the positronic equivalent would save seventeen cents for each robot equipped.  Now after the fact, this savings seems to pale in comparison to the 1,343 wrongful death suits and the Justice Department’s grand jury indictments but all of that stuff won’t hit the fan until after Christmas so what we need is a band-aid to keep this under control until the December bonuses get handed out.  So, what can you do?”

I looked down at the floor and shuddered and told him I’d see what I could do.  I headed out onto the programming floor and using the clearance card I had been given by the CEO began writing some new code for the RoboDriver robots.  I loaded the code onto a server and began the download to the entire robot fleet.  I headed for the front door just as the first wave of murder-bots stormed the C-suite.  Well, so much for their bonuses.